Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols-Chapter 183: Office Open (1) (1)

Gentle music, a bright pink effect.
And…
Dorm 12 Commandments
Do chores together (Seongbin)
Talk a lot (Cheonghyeon)
Keep shoes neatly arranged (Kiyeon)
Don’t turn off night lights at night (Jeho)
Don’t ruin the practice atmosphere (Iwol)
Do dishes on time (Joowoo)
Share your work schedule (Seongbin)
Ventilate the room for 30 minutes daily (Joowoo)
Apply lotion after showering, regardless of the season (Iwol)
Make requests face-to-face (Kiyeon)
Take medicine with water (Iwol)
Don’t randomly hit ‘undo’ when working on shared sheets. (If it gets messed up, call me instead of touching it further.) (Iwol)
…Strict rules, neatly and densely written on a small whiteboard.
After the 12 Commandments, which made it unclear whether this was an idol house or a training gym, was introduced, an old-school variety show-style title popped onto the screen.
『Spark Dream House Grand Reveal』
The camera panned to a wall clock showing 5 AM, then zoomed in on the kitchen.
Someone stood motionless like a wooden totem in front of the stove, cooking.
Next to them were an open bag of bread and cute plates arranged in perfect alignment.
It was Kim Iwol.
『Kim Iwol (21 years old/Oldest)
Characteristic: Woke up to the sound of the camera installation, failed to film a proper wake-up scene』
‘So incredibly real.’
Spark was known for being an idol group that couldn’t lie. But this was a whole another level. Thanks to this, she got to see Iwol wearing a black t-shirt, showing off his arms while toasting bread. The world was truly a beautiful place.
Kim Iwol flipped the bread slices with the practiced ease of a Noryangjin famous toast shop owner. He placed another pan on the stove and started frying eggs.
『Staff: Does Iwol always make toast at this hour?』
『Iwol: Whoever wakes up early makes it. Seongbin does it a lot too. Would you like a slice, Director?』
Kim Iwol, looking around the dorm and estimating the number of people, tore open the bag of bread without hesitation.
Just as he finished placing eggs on three slices of bread with jam and three without, alarms rang from both rooms.
The first room shown on screen was the large room near the entrance.
Lee Cheonghyeon, whose face was buried in his pillow, slammed his hand down on the timer button to turn it off.
『Cheonghyeon: …Jeho hyung.』
『Jeho: Mm-hm.』
After confirming each other’s awakening, the two sluggishly threw off their blankets and got up. Baek Haewon was stuck at this scene for three full minutes, replaying the sound of Cheonghyeon’s sleepy voice.
Lee Cheonghyeon, climbing down the ladder from the bunk bed, checked Kim Iwol’s spot.
『Cheonghyeon: When did this hyung get up? He’s truly a miracle morning master.』
While Lee Cheonghyeon marveled, Choi Jeho picked up his glasses. He always wore contact lenses during filming, but today, he seemed to have decided to wear his glasses like he usually did at the dorm.
Meanwhile, the other room woke up with a bit more difficulty. Kang Kiyeon was vigorously rubbing his sleepy face.
『Seongbin: Kiyeon, are you very sleepy?』
『Kiyeon: No.』
『Joowoo: I’m very sleepy…』
『Seongbin: Ahaha, you look like it.』
Despite being in the same dorm, this room, unlike the room of the sharp-as-a-knife morning risers, felt more human.
But that moment passed quickly.
『Seongbin: Huh, Iwol hyung is already up?』
『(Seongbin dashes out after sensing the smell of bread)』
As Jeong Seongbin dashed out like a hornet, the kitchen gradually became noisy.
After distributing the toast—even the staff received it too—Spark finally gathered at the dining table.
The bare faces of the members who had only washed their faces…
『(100% pure morning bare faces)』
…were amazing, even without the rose-tinted glasses of a fan.
How did not a single one of them wake up with puffy eyes? Not even one of them had used eye makeup to enhance their eyes all this time?!
Aside from Park Joowoo’s slightly messy hair, perhaps due to his sleeping habits, Spark’s condition was so presentable they could have been photographed for a ‘commuting to work’ news article.
『Seongbin: Hyung, you don’t have filming today, right?』
『Iwol: Nope. You guys don’t have anything urgent either, right?』
『Seongbin: No.』
The news of Kim Iwol’s drama filming had already been announced through articles. She’d spent several exhausting days arguing with bastards who claimed Kim Pep was already trying to escape the group.
『Cheonghyeon: I’ll do the dishes!』
『Joowoo: No.』
『Cheonghyeon: Why?』
『Joowoo: Cheonghyeon… has to play the keyboard. We can’t let your precious hands get wet.』
『Cheonghyeon: Hyung…!』
Touched, Lee Cheonghyeon switched to wiping the table.
Even in IDC, Spark had been the ones running around doing everything. It seemed that was due to the influence of each member taking responsibility for chores at the dorm.
Her boys were so hardworking. She’d definitely stick 600 grape stickers on their reward chart.
While there were member combinations that highlighted this harmonious camaraderie, there were also those that didn’t.
『Jeho: I think the washing machine’s spin cycle is broken.』
『Iwol: Really? Then could you take the laundry from the bathroom and quickly swing it around 200 times? Like a fire poi.』
『Jeho: Do I look like a human spin dryer to you?』
While Kim Lee Iwol went to the balcony to look for the washing machine repair service number, Choi Jeho stared at the dripping laundry.
Then, with a deep sigh, he and Kang Kiyeon moved it all to the bathroom.
‘No way? Is he really going to do a laundry poi show?!’
While thinking that Choi Jeho couldn’t be that foolish, Baek Haewon was secretly looking forward to it. Well, it should be okay to have expectations in life, right?
Unfortunately, Choi Jeho didn’t perform the rare feat of spinning the laundry like a windmill.
Instead… he showed off some amazing veins.
More precisely, ‘forearms with veins bulging as if they were about to burst from wringing out the laundry.’
Baek Haewon calmly pressed the pause button. Then she picked up her phone.
≫ Is Guilty Jeho crazy? There’s a guest in their dorm, and he’s just out here flexing his forearms while wringing laundry like some farmhand?! You’ll end up only being able to eat plain rice
≫ When Iwol said something, he was like, ‘Do I look like a human spin dryer?’ But why are you actually manually spin-drying it? Do Iwol’s words even sound like words?? Are Iwol’s words that funny??
└ I thought I misread itㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋFor a second, I was like, is this the right expression?ㅋㅋ
≫ Ah, I want to take a screenshot right now, enhance the quality, and make it my profile picture, but there are too many killing points, I can’t stop… This dorm life is a rabbit hole. It’s going to have 100 episodes, right? I believe in you, UA
≫ High stimulation, they’re crazy;;;
No matter how much she thought about it, how could they release such a wicked self-filmed video? And they were just throwing it out there? With an all-ages rating?!
Kim Iwol’s back view while toasting was so divine, Baek Haewon felt like asking him for college entrance exam tips, was this normal??
≫ He’d probably say he studied 100% from textbooksㅠ
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋWhy are college entrance exam tips coming up here?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋYour fangirling is next level
Baek Haewon’s sophisticated commentary filled the timeline. After taking a deep breath, she could finally return to exploring Spark’s dorm life.
* * *
Spark’s hilarious dorm story life continued.
『Seongbin: Kiyeon, you got a package? What did you order?』
『Kiyeon: Ankle weights.』
『Iwol: You’re not actually going to wear them, are you? What if you hurt your joints using those things carelessly?』
『Kiyeon: Don’t worry, they’re for you, hyung.』
『Iwol: Oh, really?』
『Joowoo: Are you seriously relieved just because it’s for you, hyung…?』
Kim Iwol, whose love for his younger members was so great that he couldn’t even sense his own dark future…
『Iwol: Next, Choi Jeho.』
『Jeho: I commend you for diligently sharing the schedule this time as well.』
『Cheonghyeon: Hyung, do you know you gave that same compliment last time?』
『Iwol: That’s because it lacks sincerity. You are hereby sentenced to praising every member.』
『Jeho: Haa…』
…and Choi Jeho, being pummeled from all sides for not complimenting Jeong Seongbin more diversely, all sorts of scenes unfolded.
More importantly, these guys complimented each other while folding laundry? How domestic, cozy, and cute. The living room seemed a bit cramped, but still..
『Kiyeon: We have to exercise in the dorm today, right?』
『Seongbin: That’s right. We can’t just leave our guest and go to the gym.』
At Jeong Seongbin’s words, Kang Kiyeon brought out several exercise mats to the living room.  A door that had never been opened before—probably used as a dressing room—was finally revealed.
There were definitely clothes hangers along the edges. But the center was simply… Spark GYM headquarters.
Despite having eaten nothing but toast, Spark exercised like their lives depended on it. When she saw Park Joowoo, who looked the most innocent, doing pull-ups while wearing workout gloves, Baek Haewon felt like dying on the spot.
『Cheonghyeon: Kiyeon, wanna decide who’ll mop the floor with a plank challenge?』
『Kiyeon: Let’s do it.』
‘Don’t just casually start a high-intensity plank battle like it’s nothing, you maknaes! If you’re gonna do it, at least wear muscle-fit shirts!’
At this point, Baek Haewon was sure she didn’t understand her own emotions anymore. Her mind was wavering as if possessed.
However, Kim Iwol seemed to unncannily understand Baek Haewon’s heart.
『Iwol: If you’re going to do planks, wear workout clothes and go to the living room. Where the lighting is good.』
The younger members obediently changed into tight-fitting, light black workout clothes and went out to the living room. Then, showing off muscles that were unbelievable for high school students, with not an ounce of fat, they began their plank challenge.
‘Kim Iwol. Just who are you…?’
She could almost hear the cries of fans who loved Spark’s physiques. Baek Haewon herself was letting out all sorts of strange screams.
Still, the younger members had a boyish feel. Somewhat… just a little.
The older members’ workout intensity was on another level.
『Iwol: (No change in speed)』
『Jeho: (No change in speed x2)』
Kim Iwol doing push-ups with one hand, and Choi Jeho doing one-armed handstand push-ups; their arm muscles were awe-inspiring.
Because he had his back to the camera, Choi Jeho’s partially-lifted shirt revealed his sculpted erector spinae muscles. Baek Haewon covered her forehead. She felt like a phantom thief rather than a guest.
‘No wonder they say they don’t talk when they go to the gym together.’
Even Baek Haewon wouldn’t be able to hold a conversation either if she was training like that.
Besides, this was just at the dorm. To build that physique with that stamina, how much time must they spend at the gym? It was a blessing if they even left and arrived together.
Spark continued to exercise for two hours straight. Fortunately, the video thoughtfully alternated between fast-forwarding and close-ups, satisfying Baek Haewon’s hidden desires.
『Joowoo: Are we having a meeting this week…?』
『Seongbin: Yeah, we have to. We were talking about ─spoiler alert─ last time, and they asked us to consolidate our opinions.』
Baek Haewon’s eyes burned at the word spoiler.
Did they have something big coming? They’d already emotionally wrecked fans with that recent fan song, and now something else was on the way? Should she just wait for the Chuseok gift event?
『Seongbin: Hyung, if you’re busy, you can just look at the meeting notes later and give us your opinion…』
『Iwol: I’m not busy. I’ve memorized all my lines.』
『Cheonghyeon: Cool, amazing, our hyung is a genius.』
『Iwol: …Are you guys pulling some kind of surprise ‘praise Kim Iwol’ hidden camera prank on me?』
Kim Iwol asked suspiciously.
How absurd. Kim Iwol, you are cool, amazing, and a genius. And you’re incredibly handsome.  If you know that, just sit still and accept the compliments.
The screen soon blurred. The words ‘spoiler alert’ appeared large in the center.
Based on the size of the text, it had to be at least a comeback. Baek Haewon’s big data, accumulated over many years, told her so.
‘That fan song was just a digital single, so we didn’t even get a single stage performance. This time, I’m milking every drop out of it.’
Her heart raced at the thought of applying for pre-recording attendance as a first-generation Sparkler. She felt a twitch under her eye as well. It was all because of fatigue, damn it…
Rubbing her eyelids, which seemed to be lacking magnesium, Baek Haewon focused on the screen again.
『Sepngbin: Then shall we take a look at each member’s living space?』
This is it.
For those who have a bias, this is what we need!