Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols-Chapter 188: Office Open (2) (1)

“I’m back.”
As soon as I returned from the variety show meeting we had scheduled before the drama aired, the guys in the living room rushed over in a group.
“Welcome back! Give me your bag!”
“Did everything go okay?”
Jeong Seongbin asked.
“Yeah, nothing special.”
Apparently, we were going to get our fortunes told together, in line with Seon Guan’s concept of seeing the future of the stock market. I hadn’t had my fortune told before, so I was looking forward to it.
Even though I was called the ‘idol more accurate than a fortune-telling octopus’ and ‘Iwol hyungnim, please channel the spirits again’ on soccer forums, I doubted I’d get scolded at the fortune teller’s for pretending to commune with my ancestors in front of the members.
“But why are you all gathered in the living room?”
“The second part of our dorm self-filmed content is being uploaded today. We were getting ready to watch it together.”
Because I’d pestered them, saying the sooner the following content was released, the better, they decided to upload the video three days earlier than usual.
I remember that. I do, but…
“Don’t you all have things to do?”
As far as I know, you guys shouldn’t have this much free time.
Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon should be finalizing the choreography for the new song.
Park Joowoo’s cover song cooldown should have reset, so he should be preparing to film his self-filmed content, and Lee Cheonghyeon should be working on the arrangement for the b-side track.
Not to mention Jeong Seongbin, who was busy with his studies.
And yet, you dare to try to watch MeTube together?
I shouldn’t have stayed silent to spare them the stress. I was seriously about to rip the password off the shared laptop to restore order in this dangerously relaxed group…
“The schedule’s on track. We’ve been managing things so nothing falls through, so don’t worry.”
“Huh?”
Jeong Seongbin smiled.
“Really. We’ve been sharing and monitoring the timetable, and there haven’t been any delays.”
“You guys made a timetable?”
With zero OA certifications between you? Except for one, you’re all frail high schoolers with nothing but muscles? Do I have to go to UA and cause a scene again?
Just as I was about to put my shoes back on, ready to throw a fit, Jeong Seongbin grabbed my arm.
“No! We suggested that it would be good to have something like that, and a dedicated team made it for us. They even input all the data.”
“Hyung told us not to scatter platforms, so we just added a page to the doc we’ve been using.”
Lee Cheonghyeon added.
They were working efficiently, communicating well with the company, and not causing trouble.
‘At this rate, the group might not disband even without me.’
Maybe this time, I’d actually get to see Spark’s 7th anniversary live stream. It was a touching thought.
But the group running smoothly was one thing, and getting what was rightfully mine was another.
“So, what’s the shared laptop password? Don’t you think it’s time you told me?”
At my words, they exchanged glances. The final decision rested with Jeong Seongbin, the leader.
Jeong Seongbin, with a resigned smile as if he had no choice, said,
“It’s 000000. Six zeros.”
“It was that simple?”
“Honestly, I thought you’d have tried it at least once. How could you not guess it?”
Lee Cheonghyeon’s words hurt my pride.
Kim Iwol’s intuition had dulled. I might not look like it, but I was someone who had even cracked PC passwords left by resigned employees.
“I tried the debut date and other things, but it didn’t work. Why 000000? It’s too vulnerable security-wise.”
“We rarely take the shared laptop outside anyway. If it’s too difficult, Jeho hyung will forget it, and he’ll have to write it on a sticky note and put it under the laptop.”
“You guys are openly mocking me now?”
From the room, I heard Choi Jeho’s voice. He had ears like a hawk. He never missed it when people were talking about him.
“But Spark is 6-1=0. So, six zeros!”
Lee Cheonghyeon exclaimed brightly.
6-1. Not 5-1, not 5+1.
I thought five of you could manage just fine. But apparently, none of you have even considered that possibility.
“…Hyung, what’s wrong?”
Park Joowoo asked cautiously. His gaze was fixed on my face.
“Oh, it’s nothing… I’m just bad at math.”
Especially subtraction.
Even more so when it came to relationships.
I didn’t know who to subtract, or how to fill the space when someone left.
So I’d rather 6 minus 1 still equals 5. Simple, with no footnotes attached.
* * *
The timetable on doc was neat and easy to read. The members didn’t even need to check it off themselves; our manager decided to take care of it all.
‘At this rate, we’ll need to hire another manager.’
With me often away for outside shoots, the burden on Manager Chanyoung had gotten heavier. The more active Spark became, the more difficult it would be for a single manager to handle everything.
I could write the job posting perfectly, but I had decided to minimize my involvement in company matters unless necessary. I’d put this aside for now.
Right on cue, a new update popped up on the group account.
≫ @spArk_official
Leaving already?
Stay for dinner since you’re here!
Let’s hang out a little longer
We’ll show you lots of fun stuff
[Spark] 2X09XX Come Visit Our Dorm ep.2
“The video should be up soon.”
“It’s really up. Jeho hyung, come out! Let’s watch the self-filmed content!”
Lee Cheonghyeon boisterously called out to Choi Jeho.
And Choi Jeho obediently crawled out of his room.
…I was still a bit awkward around him, to be honest.
But regardless of my awkwardness, Choi Jeho, with an indifferent expression, pushed up his glasses and settled into his usual spot at the edge of the sofa.
I sat on the floor at the far end, diagonally opposite Choi Jeho. Park Joowoo, displaced from his usual spot, wandered around before settling into my usual spot.
“Where did we leave off last time?”
“The room tour.”
“So literally halfway through.”
As Kang Kiyeon pointed out, after the opening of Spark’s self-filmed content, a short recap of the previous video showed them having breakfast, exercising, and exploring their rooms.
“What did we… do after that?”
Choi Jeho muttered to himself, as if he couldn’t remember.
Kang Kiyeon replied with a resigned tone.
“We did a lot of weird things.”
“We did?”
Spark, the cool, quiet, chic boy group, doing weird stuff? He must be mistaken.
The screen showed 2 p.m. in the afternoon. The living room was piled high with six people’s worth of laundry. It was because we had taken down all the clothes from the drying rack to hang the newly washed laundry.
Spark in the video, like people at a washing site in a folk painting, settled down and started folding clothes.
『Iwol: Should we just put away this soccer club towel? Whose is it?』
『Kiyeon: It’s Chanyoung hyung’s (Spark’s Manager).』
『Iwol: Let’s tell him first, then toss it. At this point, we owe the towel a merciful end.』
Below my face, looking at the towel that was as dry as bark, a caption appeared: ‘Iwol, a kind idol who even considers the feelings of a towel’.
Some of the guys burst out laughing. Apparently my saint-like portrayal was that funny.
『Cheonghyeon: Lately, I keep seeing animal socks. Whose are these?』
『Joowoo: Sorry, they’re mine…』
『Cheonghyeon: I’m not criticizing your taste, hyung! It’s just… they’re too cute for our dorm.  I think having the cute, pretty, visually appealing Lee Cheonghyeon is enough.』
The camera focused on me again. Below my cold expression, a new caption appeared: ‘Iwol (21 years old/Saves members as ‘cute, pretty, visual’)’.
“Is this secretly a special episode about me that only I didn’t know about?”
“No way. You were just too iconic not to feature.”
“Iconic? I didn’t do anything, but I keep popping up.”
I felt wronged. My chest was tight with frustration.
『Cheonghyeon: You can tell Jeho hyung’s clothes just by their size. What size do you wear, hyung?』
『Jeho: Me? About 100.』
『Kiyeon: 100? I don’t think so. Doesn’t Lee Cheonghyeon wear 100?』
『Seongbin: I heard the stylist noona say he wears 110 or 115.』
『Kiyeon: When did you hear your size was 100?』
『Joowoo: Wasn’t that back in high school…?』
『Iwol: Don’t ever go clothes shopping alone.』
Besides Choi Jeho’s shirt size issue, there was another issue. A scene where he put black t-shirts and towels in the washing machine together, causing lint to fly everywhere, was shown.
『Iwol: Does anyone know where the doldori (*tape cleaner) is?』
『Joowoo: I know…! Wait a minute!』
I didn’t expect them to so kindly include the official name like that. Somehow, that made it even more embarrassing. This really must be a special episode just to humiliate me.
Once all the laundry had been folded, Spark members gradually dispersed into their own corners.
The first to enter his room was Choi Jeho. He put on his earphones and started watching b-boying videos, just like usual.
Around the same time, Kang Kiyeon squatted in front of his bookshelf, lost in thought. Then, as if he had made a firm decision, he picked a book and headed to his bed.
“Kiyeon, I told you not to squat.”
“It’s a habit… but I’ve been doing it a lot less lately.”
“Let’s do better. Think of your legs as Spark’s legs.”
While Kang Kiyeon on screen stretched out Spark’s two legs and started reading his comic book, Park Joowoo took his pillow to the veranda to dust it off.
Then, with a satisfied expression, he returned and tidied up his bedding. Staring at Kang Kiyeon, he asked,
『Joowoo: …Kiyeon, should I dust off your pillow too?』
『Kiyeon: Huh? No, I’ll dust mine myself.』
『Joowoo: I’ll dust off yours while I am at it. You just keep reading…!』
Then Park Joowoo went out to the veranda with Kang Kiyeon’s pillow in his left hand and Jeong Seongbin’s in his right, dusting them off with tremendous force. It was hard to tell if he wanted to dust the pillows or explode them.
“…Did you two do something to piss Park Joowoo off?”
Choi Jeho asked, and Jeong Seongbin and Kang Kiyeon hesitated to answer, having just witnessed the near-explosion of their pillows.
Fortunately, Park Joowoo actively clarified that he harbored no ill feelings towards his roommates.
Jeong Seongbin organized his schedule at the dining table, and Lee Cheonghyeon worked on his music.
And I…
『Iwol: I should… clean the bathroom.』
『Cheonghyeon: Hyung, just leave it. I’ll do it later!』
『Iwol: Then give me something to do!』
…wandered around aimlessly because I had nothing to do.
A caption appeared below my forlorn face.
『Iwol (21 years old/Diligently recovering)』
Now even UA was pressuring me not to work. In such an embarrassing way, too.
I was mortified, but the fans loved it, saying it felt real.
≫ Except for the amount of laundry, this is just like my house
The scene of the whole family folding laundry together is so familiar
└ @@: Mom, these socks don’t match, what should I do?
└ @: Set them aside, they’ll appear when you do the next load of laundry~
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ And they really do appear.
└ Make sure to run the tape cleaner over them once, okay~?
└ Mom, are you trying to get them married off or something?
(Tl note:  ‘Mom, are you trying to get them/me married off or something?’ is actually a slang in Korea. It’s often used humorously by Korean moms or aunties in the context of grooming or preparing someone (usually daughters) meticulously—cleaning, dressing well, etc.—as if they’re about to be presented for a marriage proposal. )
≫ Choi Jeho wears size 115???????
└ Spark’s tallest, Choi Jeho, wears a size 115 top?????
└ Spark’s tallest, center, the emperor, Choi Jeho, wears a size 115 top??????
└ Spark’s tallest, center, the emperor, blind date disaster, super troublemaker, Emperor Jeho, wears a size 115 top??????????
≫ Why does the the maknae line know each other’s shirt sizes?
I’m honestly so curious how deep your friendships go
≫ Park Joowoo looks like a silent gunslinger from a snowy wilderness, and his forearms are so solid they seriously give people all sorts of weird thoughts. But the fact that you only see them when he’s dusting pillows—
└ Joowoo’s 3 veins moment: In his throat when singing + on his temples and forehead when he’s hot + on his forearms when dusting pillows [NEW!]
≫ Why does Iwol get so anxious when he has nothing to do?
Rest when you have nothing to do, Iwol…
└ Making our baby a workaholic… UA, wake up
These reactions seemed to stem from the fact that Spark hadn’t revealed much of their natural selves before.
However, what followed was even fresher. Fresher than freshly caught sashimi.
『Cheonghyeon: Hyung, I’m about to be filled with soul—play the air bass for me.』
『Iwol: Need some beatboxing?』
『Cheonghyeon: Of course.』
Spark’s music playtime, which seemed like it should have been edited out, was shown in its entirety.