Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols-Chapter 312: Variety Show Tour (4)

Meanwhile, at that same moment, the maknae was left alone in the shade of the island, facing the trial of having to catch fish.
『Kiyeon: A fish trap would be nice, but even if I make one, I don’t have anything to use as bait right now… I’ll just try scooping with a bucket.』
『Quick to adapt』
I bit my lip and tried not to laugh at the short but impactful caption. This was all because he ended up on a deserted island with Choi Jeho. The kid had become the head of the household.
Kang Kiyeon took off his shoes and entered the shallow sea. Then, holding a bucket, he bent his waist and stood still, before scooping up a bucketful of seawater faster than a seagull.
“Will fish even get caught like that?”
Lee Cheonghyeon said, incredulous.
『Kiyeon: I caught some.』
『PD: What?!』
Kang Kiyeon, who raised his hand towards the hurriedly running camera, walked out to the beach and showed the inside of the bucket. There were really two small fish inside.
Kang Kiyeon found another bucket and succeeded in catching a few more fish that lived in the shallow sea. He even left behind the golden line, ‘If Jeho hyung’s going to eat, I’d better catch a lot’.
『Unbelievable reaction speed…』
He also got a cool caption. Lee Cheonghyeon, seeing his friend who looked like a god of fishing up close, and like a child engrossed in a game of scooping seawater from afar, dabbed his tears with tissues.
The two’s first-night dinner menu on the deserted island was very plentiful. It was only natural since the two had spent the whole day just gathering food.
『Kiyeon: Where should we dig the pit?』
『Jeho: Somewhere the tide won’t reach, I guess.』
『Kiyeon: If the tide comes in, we’ll drown right away.』
Kang Kiyeon said something terrible. The two dug the earth with a wooden plank and found an area where the sand inside was not wet.
『Kiyeon: Judging by the lack of seashells, it looks like water doesn’t reach this far. Let’s dig here.』
『Jeho: Alright.』
When Kang Kiyeon drew the guideline, Choi Jeho diligently dug the ground. They looked like people dispatched from a construction company. Without resting, Choi Jeho dug out a pit big enough for one grown man to fit inside.
While Choi Jeho was digging the next hole, Kang Kiyeon laid down the banana leaves Choi Jeho had picked up. Then he took off his shoes, carefully went inside, and lay down.
『Jeho: How is it?』
『Kiyeon: It’s cozier than I thought.』
『Jeho: Then that’s good.』
『Kiyeon: …But I feel like I’m going to have bad dreams.』
『Jeho: That’s just your imagination.』
Choi Jeho threw another banana leaf to his dongsaeng with empty eyes and focused on digging the ground again. Thanks to the diligent worker, two human landfills were completed in an instant.
Fortunately, they had been provided with fire sticks. Choi Jeho, as befitting a guy whose group name was a testament to him, started the fire. Supposedly it required skill, but it seemed sheer strength and speed worked just as well.
Dinner was luxurious. The two guys ate grilled bananas and grilled fish, and at the end, they even cleansed their palates with the coconut Choi Jeho had smashed.
Kang Kiyeon asked, wiping the coconut from his mouth.
『Kiyeon: What should we do tomorrow?』
『Jeho: First… we should put on sunscreen.』
『Kiyeon: True.』
Kang Kiyeon, who had earlier requested Jeho dig a makeshift well, glanced at it. Still, I’m so glad that you guys are the kind of guys who at least think about washing your faces.
『Jeho: You said you wanted to try a fish trap, right? Set it up.』
『Kiyeon: What about you, hyung?』
『Jeho: I need to pick bananas. We ate them all. Do your thing, and we’ll meet in the morning.』
The camera showed a mountain of banana peels. All I could do was sigh.
“Choi Jeho, where’s your cooperative spirit?”
“We agreed to meet in the morning, didn’t we?”
“You call that a cooperation? That’s just a meetup.”
Jeong Seongbin tried his best to look at a distant place. He must be thinking that he should have gone to the deserted island.
Still, Choi Jeho didn’t leave Kang Kiyeon completely to fend for himself. While Kang Kiyeon laid down banana leaf bedding, Choi Jeho brought over some fishing nets and crafted a makeshift trap for him.
Normally, people would repair abandoned traps, but the PD, perhaps finding the sight of him making an A to Z handmade fish trap from a raw net interesting, approached him.
『PD: You guys are really handy. Even good at making fire.』
『Kiyeon: Our nickname is the ‘cottage industry idols’.』
Kang Kiyeon said, pointing at Choi Jeho, who was already working on a second fish trap.
Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon really… really did go into the hole and go to sleep. Covered with two banana leaves each. They even tried to keep away mosquitoes by lighting a small fire at their feet, which only made me more frustrated.
『Kiyeon: Hyung.』
『Jeho: What.』
The scene cut between the flickering campfire shadows on their faces and the countless stars scattered across the night sky.
With an emotional font, their exchange appeared as captions.
『Kiyeon: What if the mosquitoes only bite our faces?』
Choi Jeho was silent for a long time.
Then he pushed the leaf aside and got up, and this time he picked up a moderately thin and large leaf from somewhere and covered Kang Kiyeon’s face with it. From under the sofa, Park Joowoo’s shoulders were shaking uncontrollably.
* **
The second day on the deserted island dawned. Whether it was thanks to the mosquito repellent, or the leaf shield filled with his hyung’s love, Kang Kiyeon was able to avoid the unfortunate incident of getting mosquito bites only on his face.
The well also functioned properly. Thanks to that, the two were able to wash their faces with clear water even on the deserted island. It was a truly idol-like appearance.
Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon, as they had discussed the previous night, parted ways as soon as they opened their eyes in the morning. It was a wonderful teamwork.
Kang Kiyeon, who had diligently packed two fish traps, made bait with small fish and carefully wedged it between the rocks where the water was coming in. He didn’t forget to make a rope with a stem cut from a banana leaf and tie it so the fish trap wouldn’t float away.
When Kang Kiyeon returned after catching a slightly larger fish than yesterday, Choi Jeho was gone.
Instead, six bananas and a small pineapple were placed next to the bonfire.
『Kiyeon: Where did hyung go?』
He said it, but he made no move to look for him. At first I thought he was wandering around to find his hyung, but Kang Kiyeon was just busy gathering firewood.
After stoking the fire back to life, he focused on making spears. I had no idea just how big of a fish he planned to catch that he needed to do all this.
By the time Kang Kiyeon was making his third handmade harpoon, Choi Jeho walked over from a distance.
『PD: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ』
The sound of the PD gasping for breath and holding back a laugh was aired as it was.
And understandably so. Because Choi Jeho was carrying a log.
It wasn’t a thick log, but anyone who has lifted one would know. Logs were far heavier than they looked.
『Kiyeon: What’s this?』
『Jeho: Move. I need to set it down.』
With a thud, the log fell in front of the bonfire. Choi Jeho straightened his shoulders, stretched, and then dusted off his palms.
『Kiyeon: What are you planning to do with that?』
Kang Kiyeon asked. I was curious too.
Choi Jeho, who was kneeling and fidgeting with the end of the log, looked up at Kang Kiyeon and said.
『Jeho: I’m going to make a pillow.』
『Kiyeon: What?』
『Jeho: My neck hurts when I sleep without one.』
That’s only because your head’s built like a battering ram…
And so the broadcast ended, leaving only a banana leaf and a log. The preview showed Choi Jeho trying to cut a log with something like a string and Kang Kiyeon with seaweed on his head, harpooning.
“……”
“Kh… pfft…”
Through the heavy silence, someone failed to hold back a laugh.
“Seongbin.”
“Yes, hyung.”
“I’m going to do some monitoring this week…”
At my words, Jeong Seongbin said nothing. I could tell that it was an unspoken permission.
* * *
Choi Jeho and Kang Kiyeon’s aimless stay on the deserted island drew an unexpected reaction. It attracted attention as the so-called ‘truthful, minimalist deserted island life.’
≫ Idols who really come empty-handed when told to come empty-handed
It’s hilarious that he asked if he had to return the sunscreen too, and the production team let him keep it
└ What’s with the bag pixelationㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└ The funny point is that you can see the bag isn’t even half full even through the pixelation.
≫ (Honest confession) Actually, I had a prejudice against Spark just by looking at their faces
I thought they were all a bunch of brats…
I didn’t know they would be this down-to-earth. How does someone with the face of a northern duke have the soul of a man of nature inside him?
Especially Kiyeon… it’s amazing. Just looking at his eyes, you’d think he was thinking ‘as if I’d ever sleep on the ground’, but there he was, dead serious, sitting down making a spear
└ Meanwhile, Choi Jeho’s sleeping in an open pit but still insisting he needs a pillow. Absolutely killing me
≫ Didn’t Spark have this image of being super capable and having high survival skills?
Why have they suddenly become primitive humansㅋㅋ
└ It’s because the ones in charge of intelligence are all gone
└ This is how important intelligence is
└ I lost it when I saw him put a leaf on his face because he was worried about getting mosquito bitesㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
≫ Every time Jeho does something, I can see Iwol about to explode
Iwol, endure it. He’s your member. Cherish him with love
└ ???: Are you out of your mind, making a kid sleep on the ground???? You think it’s fine as long as you sleep well??? If you’re going to do that, why even cover yourself with leaves? Just bury him in sand and call it a sauna why don’t you
└ Miheon-nim, are you account-sharing with Iwol? Because I swear I just heard his voice
└ The one who loved idols so much that they became one with them…
≫ I’m used to seeing them build things here and there and do underwater exploration to catch rare fish
But I feel strange watching a show where they dig a hole to sleep and eat five bananas each
└ The former gives a ‘wow, amazing… survival skills are the best…’ feeling, but the latter just makes me think, ‘wow… a deserted island is really desolate…’
└ A ‘real’ deserted island castaway story
└ I agree with the comment aboveㅋㅋㅋ It keeps making me think that if I, a regular person, went to a deserted island, I would probably live like that and barely get byㅋㅋㅋ
On top of this, with the broadcast of Jeong Seongbin’s and my ‘Worry Sharing Session,’ the community was bustling with stories about Spark for a while. Spark’s buzz volume had literally exploded.