“No? Should it?” Hyr asked, connecting the dots that perhaps this—their age difference—was why Emilia had occasionally seemed a little cautious about interacting with them, her eyes flickering nervously when they touched, when she curled so sweetly into their lap.
Deflating, Emilia finally bothered looking up at them. “I don’t know. Age has never bothered me, but when I tell people my biggest sex age gap was over two hundred and fifty years, I tend to get funny looks. Even if I just mention some of the lower numbers—numbers like the almost forty years between us—people still get”—she waved her hands between them, as though that would somehow explain what she was trying to say—“weird.”
Hyr contemplated that, carefully asking if the age difference—the fact that people might find something happening between them
weird
—bothered her. “Significant age difference are not uncommon in Nur’tha,” they added.
It was partially a consequence of fated corebonds, which while often leaning towards people of a similar age, sometimes included age gaps that required a specific culture and view of relationships. Not that everyone accepted a fated corebond—very little was considered absolute by synat—of course, and the more extreme the age difference, the most likely one side was to refuse their bondmate. Still, most people were informed of their fated corebond when they were young, signs of it appearing within their first synat reading. Growing up aware that there was someone out there that their life held the potential of being irrevocably tied to tended to lead those blessed with fated corebonds into accepting them, most viewing it as a blessing from the aether.
“Oh… I don’t really care. I mean, I feel like I should care more, but… well…”
A thread of messages slotted itself into Hyr’s mind, briefly overwhelming them. There had been the smallest itch of a sight, months earlier, that had told them that wearing their temporary Censor more often would be for the best. It had been so fleeting, however, that Hyr had ignored it. Now, struggling to deal with what was likely a simple thing for those used to their Censors, Hyr regretted their decision.
The thread, Hyr eventually realized, was a collection of… propositions within a recently reactivated group message that included numerous people all sharing the last name Hyrat—the clones that Samina had mentioned, while explaining some aspects of The Black Knot to them during their training earlier. While Hyr had known about the Hyrat clones in broad strokes, learning more about them was fascinating. Coming from a culture where children were considered a will of the aether, the idea of purposefully creating an infinite number of copies of a specific member of the Laprise family for thousands of years, slight modifications having been made to their knots and DNA in that time, was so foreign Hyr wasn’t really sure what to think of them, other than that overall, they were a positive force in Emilia’s life.
Samina had also mentioned that Emilia was
extremely close to them
—and yes, if Hyr hadn’t already known that, these messages would have been proof enough of how close she was with the clones. The thread—aptly named
Fun Times With The Clones
—was a four-decades-long organization of numerous sexual meetups—with the near-decade long gap, of course. The most recent messages were an attempt to organize something in the next few months. Currently, the messages were mostly on the part of the clones, who were taking Samina’s move back into Emilia’s life as an invitation for them to come back as well.
Emilia had highlighted messages in which the various clones were telling her that they were excited, having been too young the last time one of these meetups was held—during the last year of the war, as far as Hyr could tell; Nur’tha and Baalphoria had vastly different dating systems. A few more joked about several of the clones who were too young to participate, not yet having reached twenty-eight—the age where Baalphorian laws no longer cared what age everyone involved in the sex was.
Those messages were perhaps the most illuminating. Not only did Emilia not care about having sex with people several years younger than they themself were, but many of the nearby messages joked about how Emilia had not been twenty-eight the first time they’d had one of these meetups, something several of the too-young clones were complaining was a double standard—interesting that, despite their age, they had still been included in the thread.
Still, Hyr agreed that perhaps it was a double standard, although they couldn’t fault anyone involved for not wanting to repeat a mistake made decades earlier—had it been a mistake? Seeing into times before their birth was difficult, only a general energy of
necessary
returning to them as they pressed their will against the aether, looking for an answer to the quiet question that had risen within them.
So… perhaps not a mistake, then. Rather, something had led Emilia—or perhaps it was the Hyrat clones?—to view their sexual arrangement as necessary, despite the legality of it. Although…
“It was all legal,” Emilia replied darkly when Hyr asked about it, her gaze sharpening. “There are close in age exceptions to that law. So, yeah, I was under twenty-eight, but no one was old enough that it mattered. If something happened with me now and someone under twenty-eight? Fucking jail time, that’s what.”
“Do they not realize that?”
“I think they selectively forget that very important detail—probably a result of being raised to exist outside of the law,” Emilia grumbled, fingers scratching over the fabric of Hyr’s shirt. She’d gone back to not looking in their eyes, probably waiting for them to change their mind—to tell her that yes, actually, her age did manage to them.
“Your age does not matter to me,” Hyr repeated, curious as to what Emilia would do or say next, some energy still vibrating within her to say that her objections weren’t over.
“Do you, like… want more than… this?” she asked, vaguely waving between them once more. Her waving did nothing to illuminate her intent. “I mean, more than weirdly sexual energy teasing.”
“Yes.” Hyr might not have set out to work their way into something more with their
energy teasing
, but they wouldn’t turn down the opportunity, even if it was out of sync with how they had expected things to happen.
“More than random friends on a vacation hooking up?”
For a moment, Hyr was tempted to lie—to tell Emilia that yes, that was all they were interested in. The trip would end, they’d each return where they were meant to, and eventually, they’d meet up again, when Emilia was in a better place, and things could perhaps…
“I am aware you are not in a place to want more than a vacation hookup,” they said instead. It might not have been the whole truth, but it was the most important part—the part that assured Emilia that they weren’t expecting to leave this ship with something more permanent between them.
The woman groaned, flopping forward to whine about how unfair it was that they always seemed to know what she was thinking and feeling.
“Not always,” Hyr assured her, forcing down the urge to braid Emilia’s lovely silver hair once more as they ran their fingers through it.
“
Not always,
they say~” Emilia sighed before falling silent again, finding her words.
Hyr left her to her silence, knowing that if they answered her last question before she had a chance to form it herself she’d be annoyed with them—that that annoyance would bring another question out of her that was tied so completely to her first, temporarily unanswered question, that they couldn’t risk teasing her a little more.
“Just so we’re clear… I’m not promising anything. Not that we’ll do anything on this trip. Not that even if it’s the best sex of my life I’ll pursue anything more serious, once my self-imposed
not dating anyone until my stupid ex can’t get mad about it
timeline ends.”
“I know.”
“And even if that did happen—and again, not saying it will, if you even wanted that to happen—I’ve been in a monogamous relationship before, and—”
“And they are not for you,” Hyr cut in, eyes tilting in amusement when Emilia pulled back to frown up at them.
“How did you…” Emilia trailed off before muttering about how they seemed to know everything.
“Not everything,” they reiterated, smiling when Emilia spit their words back at them once more, annoyance and amusement mixed together. “I will not claim to understand you,” Hyr continued, once Emilia was done complaining about
rude, mind-reading syn
. “I do, however, see you. I like and accept what I see, and would like to understand you more.”
For the moment, that was as close as they could get to the truth without risking a longer conversation, complicated by decades of information and hurt.
Emilia continued dragging her nails over the fabric of their shirt as she contemplated everything that had been said between them, the things that had been left for later, the things that had been carefully talked around.
“Okay,” she finally said. Her energy, which had been wild and conflicted throughout their conversation, finally calmed, the soft pressure of it resting against Hyr’s own, still buried so deeply within her, unmoving. “As long as you understand, then… okay. I… I like it, when you play with my energy. You can keep doing it, if you want. I should also—” she continued, breaking off from whatever else she was going to say into a gasp when, suddenly, Hyr’s energy was no longer quiet, no longer still.
It had been painful, keeping their energy so still while they talked. Receiving actual permission to take what they wanted from Emilia? It was a good thing they were known for their patience, that control the only thing keeping them from taking more than they currently were.
Still, it took effort to keep their energy from doing anything too aggressive. Instead, they just let their frustrated energy move once more. Tendrils filled Emilia up as much as possible, which seemed to not nearly be enough, between her own energy and Conrad’s, which tended to keep to her core, tucked into the cracks that laced through it—cracks that had broken Hyr’s heart when they’d first felt them. They hadn’t been there, inside the raid, although they’d still known they would be there in real life.
Knowing they were there had done nothing to stop their heart from breaking in those first moments they had felt them full weight of them, back in Sil’s apartment. Back then, so many hours early—months, after all their time inside the Virtuosi System, and yet so fresh in their mind—they had wanted to wrap themself around both Emilia’s body and core. They’d let go, though, stepping back once her anger had subsided, just to have her snap out and pull them back, her hands constantly finding them again in those long hours where every time they dropped hands, Hyr would let their connection drop.
A quiet message that if Emilia didn’t want their energy inside her, she didn’t even have to ask them to get out.
Emilia did want them there inside her, though. If her admittance that she enjoyed their teasing hadn't been enough, her energy desperately pulling at theirs in an attempt to rile it up in turn certainly was. She hadn’t done that before—hadn’t returned their attention with her clumsy, if enthusiastic and always curious attempts to use her energy.
“Hyr…” she whined against their neck, where she’d once again buried herself. Apparently, admitting what they both wanted had simply served to break an invisible barrier between them. Where Emilia had been tentative before, unsure where they stood, now that she knew they were all for
hooking up
, she was all for asking—practically begging—for what she wanted.
Not that she would be getting it. Not here.
Laughing, Hyr switched to messaging her, telling her that they weren’t going to make her orgasm in front of all the cameras no doubt aimed their way, so the raid monitors could keep them safe.
The groaned “Fine!” that left the woman’s lips sent a rippled of amusement through Hyr.
“Later,” they promised, pulling their energy back under control because the risk of Emilia just removing them from the raid to make that
later
now was quite high.
“Fine~” she sighed again, although it lacked any bite, her mouth instead curling into a smile as Hyr pulled her away from the wall and began heading back to the others.
While they hadn’t intended to distract the woman with sex-related things, it had been effective, nonetheless, and she put up no complaints when they rounded the corner, only *ooh-*ing when Hyr let loose a barrage of skills that killshot a few of Leerin’s cousins, who had abruptly returned.
“Hyr is so strong!” she cheered, leaning back to throw her arms into the air and smile at them. This time, when their eyes met, a light red did dust over her nose, and it was everything Hyr could do not to lean in a kiss her.
Later—later they would do that and other things, and a thousand laters from now they would have the conversation they needed to have.
Hopefully, when that time came, their life and everything they had seen of what it could be wouldn’t fall to pieces.
.
!
Arc 7 | Chapter 269: More Than… This
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