Escaping the Mystery Hotel-Chapter 293: Room 204, Mission Room - 'Hotel Cinema' — Act 2 FIN (16)
User: Han Kain (Wisdom)
Date: Day 133
Current Location: Floor 2, Room 204 – Mission Room, ‘Hotel Cinema’
Sage’s Advice: 3
– Han Kain
“W-what is this?”
Elena’s very confused voice was heard but no one could answer. After all, everyone else was thinking the exact same thing!
“What the hell is this, you hotel idiot!?”
Ahri openly cursed, but no one stopped her. Everyone’s thoughts were the same.
Really, what is this? Wasn’t it going well as a normal, spectacular action movie?
It was unexpected when it suddenly turned to attacking the capital in the latter half, but I thought it was a reasonable development for a war hero to clash with the emperor. But then suddenly only the emperor’s corpse moved at the end? A hair growth product advertisement?
“Really, what did I just watch? Does anyone understand?”
I had never seen such an absurd movie in my life!
Amidst all this, Eunsol-noona, who was the only one who seemed to have kept her wits, offered an opinion, “Didn’t you all see the notification earlier?”
“Notification?”
“Did you not see it because you were distracted? There was a notification that said, ‘You have acquired the The Hair of a Warrior Who Endures Even The Force of Lightning!’ towards the end of the movie.”
I didn’t see it. Honestly, with the movie suddenly going crazy at the end, I wasn’t in the state of mind to notice a faint notification blinking in the corner.
“If it’s The Hair of a Warrior Who Even Endures The Force of Lightning, that’s an ingredient for the Winged Boots.”
“That’s right. So I was thinking, it must be because of the ‘transformation’ in the middle of the movie?”
Hearing that, I had a sudden thought, “Don’t tell me it’s because Hyung became a warrior who endured the force of lightning while fighting Kurta, so Hyung’s hair is the reward?”
“Seems like it. But, he suddenly transformed into some strange being like a Kamen Rider while fighting, right? So his hair disappeared, and then they suddenly inserted a hair growth product advertisement to forcibly create hair.”
Grandpa, who had been listening carefully to Noona’s opinion, was bewildered.
“Wasn’t the transformation part of the movie’s plot? No, if the hair is the reward, why is there a transformation that removes hair in the movie’s plot?”
That was right. The hair was the reward, but a transformation that removed hair appeared during the movie? It didn’t make sense, did it?
Unless the transformation was something unrelated to the movie!
At that moment, with the characteristic “Dun-dun-da-da!” sound, the judges started to appear.
The atmosphere among the judges was subtly different from yesterday. The souvenir girl kept her head down low, not even thinking of lifting it, and the Merchant just stared at the ceiling with a somewhat dazed look.
In the suddenly quiet atmosphere, even the usually noisy Merchant kept his mouth shut tightly. This time, the souvenir girl carefully raised her sign first.
“I’ll… give it a pass.”
“What?”
Surprisingly, the confused exclamation came from our side.
You’re giving it a pass for such an idiotic ending that we’ve never seen in our lives?
“E-except for the ending, I think it was a good story. Especially the action scenes were impressive, you know? The part where he caught Kurta! I want to praise that. Honestly, that part wasn’t a standard development, but it was more impressive because he overcame it with skill. The usurpation of the throne afterwards was also good. I liked the war hero’s decision to oust the emperor.”
Ahri cautiously asked, “What was the standard development? I thought it was a failure the moment Kurta appeared. No matter how I think about it, isn’t it a bit much to grit your teeth and beat down such a monster?”
The souvenir girl didn’t answer. If a judge’s evaluation was a failure, the next person had to go in again. She probably couldn’t tell us the correct answer.
As the souvenir girl, who we thought would be the most difficult, gave a clear pass, we felt relieved. As for the Merchant, well, he liked absurd stories, so—
“A fail for me.”
“Uwaaaah!”
“What the hell, you bastard!? Don’t you like absurd endings? In my over 60 years, I’ve never seen such a dogshit ending!”
What, now this bastard is a problem all of a sudden?
I hastily raised my hand.
“How is that a fail!? Didn’t you say you highly evaluate peculiar and unique plots, judge?”
Suddenly, the Merchant spun around and changed into a stern-looking professor. After a moment of disbelief, he answered with a completely different tone from usual, “Uh huh… Participant Han Kain. I don’t know what you think of me, but what I like isn’t just any scribbled, kindling-like development.”
“Give us an example! What’s acceptable and what’s not!”
“An unacceptable example? One comes to mind right away. Do you think I would pass if a protagonist who was steadily swallowing up a chaebol family suddenly gets hit by a truck at the end and everything turns out to be a dream? That’s just a kindling ending.”
Elena, who had been quiet, spoke up with an irritated voice, “But didn’t you pass when I beat the Crown Prince to death with scales?”
“If participant Cha Jinchul had torn apart and killed the Great General of National Defense or other generals, I would have passed it!”
“Why suddenly kill allies? Is it a pass if you kill allies but a fail if there’s a hair loss advertisement?”
“Isn’t it obviously different? The former is fresh, the latter is idiotic.”
“How is it different!?”
Suddenly, the Merchant stood up, overturning the table.
“It’s different in my view! It’s different in my view!”
What’s this bastard saying now?
“We asked for your criteria, and you just say it’s different in your view—“
“Here, I stand in the heavens! I am the standard of the world! If it’s not my view, it is naught!”
At this point, Ahri threw a chair.
“Hey! Honestly, we didn’t ruin the ending, did we? Wasn’t it you guys who ruined it?”
“Nope~! It wasn’t me who ruined it! I’ll evaluate including the ending, and if you don’t like it, become a judge yourself! Goodbye everyone! It’s a fail and I’m leaving!”
With those words, the Merchant disappeared somewhere. Silence fell over the place, and we were at a loss for words.
“T, t-that bastard, what did he just say?”
“…”
In the dazed atmosphere, the mysterious craftsman quietly raised his sign.
“It’s an X.”
Hearing Ahri’s words, Noona sighed.
“Ah… Jinchul worked so hard, but it’s a fail? Really, this is a bit—“
I raised my hand for now. Since it would be a confirmed failure if we didn’t protest, we needed to change the ruling. I tried to calm my mind and think.
What on earth is this guy’s criteria?
We’ve been questioning Lego’s criteria since the first day and even used Advice.
— Think about what kind of existence the Lego is.
What kind of existence is the Lego?
Outside the Hotel, in the snow globe, the mysterious craftsman we found was a toy, not a living being, from the moment of discovery. It was the same even after being activated inside. It was closer to a robot incapable of normal communication.
“Lego is…”
“Kain?”
Ahri, who had approached from the side without me noticing, tilted her head.
“Lego has no intelligence.”
“What?”
“Lego is a toy, right? It has no intelligence. The mysterious craftsman can’t communicate! How can a robot without intelligence make a judgment?”
An absurd thought occurred to me. From experience, such absurd thoughts were often the correct answer in the Hotel. I raised my hand to stop the judgment process and approached Lego.
Conveniently, the Merchant next to Lego had disappeared after spouting nonsense. The souvenir girl, whatever she was thinking, was ignoring us with her head bowed low.
When I got close enough to see Lego’s hand holding up the X sign, I discovered a translucent thread.
“…What on earth is this?”
Once I found the thread, the rest was quick. There was no need to bother following the thread; Noona’s eyes instantly traced the path of the thread and…
Everyone’s gaze turned towards the third NPC and “real judge” who had been here, the Guide.
“…”
“…”
“Dun-dun-da-da!”
“You…!”
Grandpa, who was about to get angry, bowed his head with a tired expression. I understood that feeling too well. What was the point of getting annoyed at someone who made a “Dun-dun-da-da!” sound effect at a time like this?
Even Confucius said that those who defecated outside the road still had a minimum of conscience and could be corrected, but he avoided those who defecated in the middle of the road, saying there was no point in admonishing them.
Ahri asked with an infinitely tired expression, “… Alright. Third judge who hid your identity. What are your criteria for constantly failing us?”
“It’s simple. I like happy endings.”
“Happy endings?”
“Of course, I don’t expect impossible endings. It’s a war movie, so it’s impossible for no one to die. I accept that much! But, I’d like the main characters to have happy endings. In Cha Jinchul’s case, it was a bit sad that he made the emperor commit suicide. Did he really need to do the ‘Wihwado Retreat’?”
“But the emperor was trying to kill him, what was he supposed to do!?”
“There are ways to prevent assassination attempts and then go into seclusion. Or methods to reform through sincere conversation, or ways to surprise and imprison him to prevent suicide.”
The third judge, the Guide, unexpectedly presented clear criteria. He wanted all main characters to have happy endings. Even for villains, he preferred reformation over killing.
It was hard to think of how to refute when he wasn’t just being unreasonable but also suggested alternative plots on how it could be possible.
The sincere conversation and reformation stuff sounded like nonsense, but preventing assassination attempts and going into seclusion? If Hyung had set his mind to it, that kind of story seemed quite possible.
But it was hard to argue why he preferred such frustrating developments. He’d probably just say it was his preference, and what could one say to that?
While I was hesitating, Ahri spoke up beside me, “So you’re disappointed that the emperor died?”
“Simply put, yes.”
“But he didn’t die.”
“What?”
“Did you watch a different movie from me? Didn’t you see the scene where the emperor was alive and moving at the end?”
What is Ahri saying now?
“Haha! Participant Kim Ahri, are you trying to make do with sophistry again? That wasn’t part of the movie, it was an advertisement—“
“Advertisement? Why is there an advertisement during the movie?”
“In Vietnam or India—“
“That’s Vietnam or India. Is this India? Aren’t we speaking Korean right now? Guide, you clearly said this at the start of the movie, didn’t you? ‘Hotel Pioneer prides itself on being the world’s best in every aspect’!”
“W-well, I did say that—“
“Then shouldn’t we set the standard to be the world’s best!? The top 5 movie markets in the world are as follows: The United States of America at first, China in second, Japan in third, Korea in fourth, and the United Kingdom in fifth! Name one crazy country among these where dead characters move and advertise during the movie!”
As the Guide was flustered and stammering, Ahri raised her momentum even more, “You’re not thinking of bringing up seventh place India, are you? I trust that a hotel priding itself on being the world’s best wouldn’t use the standards of the seventh place market.”
“…W-what are you trying to say? That in advanced movie countries, there are no advertisements during movies?”
“That’s right. The last scene wasn’t an advertisement. It’s part of the movie, and the emperor really came back to life. The resurrected emperor was up to something…”
“Up to something?”
“Wasn’t it hinting at a sequel?”
Ahri. My head is spinning.
“S-sequel? Say something that makes sense! The emperor and Cha Jinchul clearly shouted the price of 39,800 won together!”
“Maybe the emperor’s brain melted while resurrecting! Cha Jinchul must have been controlled! And what? Say something that makes sense? Does inserting a hair loss advertisement at the end of a movie make sense?”
“…”
“Am I wrong? There was no advertisement, and the emperor was resurrected! He just came back to life and hinted at a sequel while plotting for the future!”
When the situation reached this point, Noona, who seemed to have an “oh, whatever” attitude, jumped out and started shaking the Guide’s body.
“Hey! If you have any conscience, tell the truth! That weird scene at the end, you guys inserted it, right? You made a mistake, didn’t you? You had to give the Winged Boots material, but because Jinchul transformed, you had no choice but to do something weird!”
“…”
“You did something strange, and the Merchant failed it and ran away because the ending was idiotic! The judge ruined the ending and then failed it because the ending is ruined? Really, does this make any sense??”
The Hotel was usually a place that didn’t make sense, but even so, this was too much.
Eventually, the Guide gave in.
“Haa… This is tiring. I feel like I’m aging.”
Grandpa showed an incredulous reaction, “Man, I’ve aged because of you guys. I’m mentally in my 70s now.”
“70s is still quite young.”
“…”
“Alright. This time, since ‘we’ are also responsible—“
The souvenir girl shouted from afar, “Bullshit! It’s not ‘our’ responsibility, it’s ‘your’ responsibility!”
This Guide bastard was the culprit?
“…Since ‘I’ am responsible this time, I’ll let it slide. I’ll pass you. But remember this. Especially you, Ahri. You’ve been making too many sophisms since yesterday, this kind of trickery ends here and—“
Ahri sighed deeply.
“Please, I’m begging you. You guys are the ones who should stop doing weird things.”
“I hope you understand that this kind of trickery ends here. As I’ll tell you when you come again, I guarantee the ‘horror movie’ will be on a different level.”
With the Guide’s ominous warning, sounding slightly angry, the second movie also came to an end.
***
https://ko-fi.com/genesisforsaken
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Chapter 293: Room 204, Mission Room - 'Hotel Cinema' — Act 2 FIN (16)
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