How I became the Empress of Hell-4.13: Mother-f*cking fetch quests
“So… we have a super-powerful NPC who easily overpowered the strongest members of our clan, who can use abilities that not only somehow bypass anything even someone like Gehenna can do, but abilities so powerful that they almost break the fucking game? You wake up with the ability to read people’s thoughts and emotions… And that’s not even mentioning the whole Jade-freakout thing… Uhhhh obviously no offense intended, Jade.”
Bray turned towards Jade as he finished speaking. The gorgeous ebony vampire demon was standing as far away from me as possible, while Tifa in her Kaiju-like Armor Demon form held her in a gentle embrace. Jade held up a placating hand and sighed loudly.
“None taken. I knew this game forced incepted thoughts and emotions into our minds while we’re playing, I just never thought I could lose control like that. Even now… If Tif wasn’t holding me, even if I knew it would force a reset... I would still attempt to sate this craving. It feels like I’m starving, dying of thirst, and so
so
desperately needing to get off. All at the same time. Times ten. It’s like I’ve been edging for weeks, and the only thing that will give me that release I so badly
need
is pulsing through Allie’s veins. If I could get one tiny taste… just a single drop… that’s… that’s…”
Jade’s voice trailed off as she stared at me with a pleading predatory intensity. A thin line of drool ran from the side of her mouth as she ran her tongue over her extremely elongated fangs. Her eyes blazed red-hot, like two burning coals. As Tifa realized the state her girlfriend was falling into, she tightened her grip so that Jade had no chance of slipping out. I almost had to restrain myself from laughing as an adorable high-pitched voice sounded from the monstrous demon, speaking softly in a sweet, soothing tone in an attempt to calm her lover. It took a moment or so for the words to sink into her mind, and I watched the gleam in her eyes dull as she sagged in Tifa’s grasp. Bray took her relaxing as an opportunity to continue.
“So… what now, Allie? Are we going to find out more info about this mysterious NPC? Are we going to just pretend like it didn’t happen and move forward with what we had already been working on?”
Everyone in the room turned to me with questioning looks. The core members of my clan, the people I now thought of as my family, all sat in plush couches and chairs in a huge semi circle all facing towards what looked like a combination of a throne and the comfiest recliner. Hana had created this room with the intent to make it a sort of clan meeting hall big enough to fit the nearly 100 members we had, and we were all adding our own personal touches to the space to make it feel less official and more welcoming. Emily was curled up next to me on my “throne,” gently stroking my arm and looking up at me with the same inquisitiveness as the rest of my clan. I met everyone’s gaze before looking down at my gorgeous fiancee. I let out a long, deep exhale and tried to sort the clusterfuck that was my thoughts into something that sounded like a suitable answer.
“I’m not ready.”
The words had slipped out of my mouth unbidden. A fragment of a piece of a half-formed memory. Before the rest of my clan could respond, however, I held up my hand and shook my head as if to clear the fog in my brain.
“That’s what the NPC said. She said I wasn’t ready for… something. I don’t remember what… but for whatever reason… I have no doubts that she’s right. Like… I can
feel
that I am, in fact, not ready. I can’t explain it more than that. But… I think that’s the point. I need to
get
ready. Whatever the fuck that means. So… to answer your questions in a very roundabout way, Bray, I feel like everything that happened with the NPC changes little in the grand scheme of things. We’re still going to move forward building our clan. Once all the Angelspawn have been converted, we’ll begin pushing hard to better every single member. We’ll get everyone under level 100 up to that level. We’re gonna power-level the fuck out of everyone. Including ourselves. I’m aiming for 350 right now. We’re going to min/max the shit out of ourselves. New, better gear. Intensive skill training and specialization. Team formations and battle strategies. We are the number one goddamn clan in the game, and if we intend to stay that way, we have to be ten, twenty steps ahead of everyone else. This game supposedly is designed to constantly be generating new, challenging content; and we’re going to lead the way exploring the
shit
out of it. The battle against Mellic. The ambush. Now this fucking crazy NPC. They’re all distractions. We are playing a fucking game, people. So let’s play the goddamn game! Let’s do dungeon runs, lets have full PvP battles against other clans, lets find legendary relics of untold power. Fuck… Let’s do mother-fucking
fetch quests
.”
I paused, grinning like a fool at all the excited smiles that shone on everyone’s faces. I could literally
feel
the eagerness of my clan, to do what we were all here to fucking do. Play a fucking badass game and be the fucking
best
at it. And yet… and yet… I could still feel those doubts about all the bullshit we’ve had to deal with lingering in the back of my mind. Instead of… or maybe
because of
that, I pushed through what I was feeling and gave voice to what going through my mind.
“That all said… that
doesn’t
mean we’re going to fully stop dealing with all the other stuff. While I will do everything in my power to make sure that stuff stays in the background, we’re are definitely going to figure out what the fuck is going on with the angels and the crusade on us. We’re going to find out everything we can about this NPC. I’m going to figure out this Demon Empress stuff. And most importantly… we are going to have so many
amazing
sex scenes. Because… let’s be honest. That’s what we’re all really here for… right?”
Yes, dear readers, I am talking to
you
. I know you’re all hungry for me to get back to the classic dungeon-runs and training montages. So that’s what we’re gonna do. Oh, sure… there will be scenes that drive the ultimate plot forward, but I want to make sure that you all get to enjoy the fuck out of this game as much as I do. With all the sexy, spicy fun along the way.
Annnnnyways…
I could see the spark of enthusiasm in my clanmates’ eyes. I knew that they were just as ready to dive into this as I was. All it would take was a gentle push to get everyone out the door and on to kicking this game’s ass. To ensure that we were all headed in the right direction, I held up my hand to get everyone’s attention to me as the volume in the room steadily rose.
“Gehenna, I want you and Hana to scavenge the ruins of your castle and figure out a way to incorporate whatever is left into this one. Then I want you to figure out how to move ours to that location. Em, Bray, Ikelos, Tess, and… Ghost. I want you all to start working with all the new recruits and get them organized into separate categories you feel they fit into. Nialla, Ash, Xerez, Tesrif, and Shadow, I want the four of you to searching for large scale activities like dungeon runs, raids, group PvP stuff, and things like that. Try to find stuff that works for the various levels we have. I want beginner stuff that we can powerlevel peeps with, I want stuff we can grind up our levels, stuff that we can get gear that synergizes with our characters better, and ways to earn more materials and goods for the clan.”
I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts and figure out the best course of action for the remaining members. I knew I still needed to figure out what the fuck was up with my new corruption ability, but that would definitely take a lot of specialized knowledge.
“I want—”
Before I could finish my thought, however, a new voice I didn’t recognize spoke up from the back of the room.
“If you don’t mind, oh great leader, I would like to help out with the scouting out for locations. That’s… uh... sorta my thing.”
I looked at the person who was speaking and saw it was the player Hana recruited, the demon player that somehow teleported herself up to the roof of the castle. Given her relative lack of respect for what I thought was established boundaries sorta got my hackles up, but I pushed the feelings aside as best I could and trained my gaze on her.
“You’re… Belial. The teleporting pacifistic gatherer, right?”
She flushed for a moment at being put on the spot, but still managed to keep her composure and gave me a subtle nod.
“I think your expertise would be invaluable to the ‘scouting team.’ Once we all separate, feel free to introduce yourself to the other four so you all can optimize everything. Thank you for joining us, Belial. Even if your method of doing so was a bit… unconventional.”
Her flushed face went nearly scarlet at this, but my beaming smile reassured her that I was being playful and not actually scolding her in any way. I drew in a deep breath as I got my thoughts back in order and after leaning down slightly and giving Em a kiss on the forehead, I continued.
“Kyra, Areandra, Scythe, Jade, and… Tifa. I want you all to help me figure out what the fuck is going on with this new skill. Kyra, I want you to use your own alchemy skill to see if it is something that works as an ingredient or something. Jade… since it’s blood based, even with your reactions to it, I still think your expertise would be invaluable here. Especially if we’re gonna find a way to sate your cravings or at the very least keep them in check. Tifa… you’re there to—”
“Holding my girlfriend back from attempting to drink every drop of blood of yours that she can get? Yeah, I’m good with that.”
I saw Jade wince slightly at the blunt nature of Tifa’s words, but both of them nodded their approval at me.
“Scythe and Areandra—”
“Enchantment stuff with the blood?”
I laughed softly through my nose at how well my clan knew me and what I was thinking, and hummed my confirmation.
“Aeyrn and Judas. I want you guys to start out helping Hana and Gehenna, but once you guys do everything you can at her castle, I want the four of you to find a way to incorporate Aeryn’s spider caverns into our Castle. I have no clue how that’s gonna work or even if its possible, but if it is, I wanna do it. I have a lot of ideas we can do with it if it works, plus it gets Aeryn back in the castle with the rest of us. And finally… Bri, Abby, and Cassie. You three are gonna be with me. I am going to flit from one task or another helping out where I can while going about other stuff I need to take care of. Since Hana is busy, I want the three of you to help me getting messages or taking things to others, and being my eyes and ears in case any other issues pop up. Are you three OK with that?”
The three girls in question looked at me with wide-eyed expressions on their faces, but I could also see the excitement about being able to help the clan leader herself with tasks. They all murmured or nodded their assent, and with that, I scooched Em off my lap and stood up.
“Alright, everyone… any questions?”
When no one said anything after a moment, I clapped my hands, filling the room with a sharp crack as I put a great deal of force into it. Everyone jumped from the sudden noise but all rose from their seats like I had fired a starting pistol.
“If anyone
does
have questions, message me, or let one of my three lovely assistants know and they’ll let me know. Otherwise… let’s go kick some fucking ass girls and guys!”
4.13: Mother-f*cking fetch quests
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