Is This How You Use a Self-Destruct Switch?!-Chapter 30 : The Last Happiness

Tsuan quickly finished the simple breakfast Reiko had prepared—warm milk, bread slices that were newly bought but still heated by Reiko, and two fried eggs with crispy edges.
The warmth of the food transmitted through her fingertips, like a ray of sunlight melting the last bit of dissatisfaction in Tsuan's heart. She unconsciously took Reiko's hand, her soft fingertips gently stroking the lines in the other's palm, as if memorizing her touch in her heart.
The two tacitly returned to that old sofa. Tsuan relaxed her body, sinking into the soft cushions, her forehead with a few drooping strands of black hair naturally resting against Reiko's shoulder.
The warmth from the silver-haired girl's neck and the faint scent of shampoo made her slightly close her eyes.
Reiko didn't mind this level of intimacy either. She reached out encouragingly to gently rub Tsuan's neck. This feeling of being depended on... especially being depended on by Tsuan, made her heart repeatedly soften.
Sunlight streamed through the window, allowing them to see tiny dust particles floating in the air, flipping and falling bit by bit... like observable time, reminding Reiko that time was passing.
Tsuan's nose was surrounded by the fresh yet familiar light fragrance from the other's hair. A nearly luxurious sense of security quietly enveloped her. Her fingertips unconsciously slid across her phone screen, opening and closing irrelevant interfaces, but her thoughts weren't on that cold reflection at all.
Her gaze gradually shifted from the phone screen to the gradually clear and bright sky outside the window. They didn't speak, just quietly nestled together, feeling each other's steady breathing and heartbeat, like two tomato vines supporting each other in the morning light.
"How much longer until noon..."
The left tomato vine asked.
"About two more hours? If you don't want to wait, should we call them now to invite them out early?"
Two more hours, and the sun would rise to the center of the sky, spreading its radiance across the world. That was the mark of noon, and also the meeting time Amber had arranged with them yesterday.
But...
Tsuan gripped Reiko's palm tightly, a trace of hesitation flashing through her red eyes... then once again reflecting the time advancing second by second on her phone screen.
Calling them out early would seem very rude... after all, the agreed time was the agreed time... changing it arbitrarily would...
While worrying whether Megumi and Amber might develop ill feelings toward her, Tsuan had to face another question.
How much time did she have left this time?
She could clearly perceive Reiko's gaze falling on her profile, gentle as if tracing a treasure. This feeling of being truly watched by Reiko, peacefully accompanied by her, was already a luxury for Tsuan.
She slightly turned her face, letting her hair naturally brush past Reiko's neck, almost greedily absorbing this skin-to-skin contact that brought enough reality to drive away all loneliness.
Honestly speaking, what Tsuan sought really wasn't much.
At this moment, being embraced by Reiko's warm arms, thinking of Megumi and Amber's vibrant smiles waiting not far away, realizing she was truly being seen... needed and even cared about by these three people.
This seemingly ordinary daily life was already the most generous gift life could give her, a miracle she hadn't dared look up at for even a second while in the boundless abyss.
Even if this miracle wasn't without cost, for Tsuan... it was already enough.
A barely perceptible shadow passed through her crimson eyes.
Even though maintaining this miracle required her to pay the price of a life... it didn't matter.
Whether it was cardiac arrest, consciousness being instantly stripped away, or gradually, gradually walking toward death in pain throughout her body, it didn't matter.
She unconsciously buried her body deeper into Reiko's embrace, as if wanting to draw some courage from this warm nestling.
Even though this was already the third time, she was still... afraid.
Even though she would resurrect soon, she still felt fear from instinct.
Was this really worth it? A cold voice sharply questioned her in the depths of her heart, asking whether paying the 'price' every twenty-four hours was too frequent.
That voice asked Tsuan if she wanted to slow it down to every two days, or even three days.
Almost instantly, Tsuan gave her answer.
Her gaze fell on Reiko's delicate jawline. The other turned her head to show her a warm smile, completely dispelling the gloom in her heart.
Worth it.
As long as she could continue to have this warmth every day, continue to be illuminated by their gazes, even if she had to struggle back from the edge of death's cliff every single day, she would gladly accept it.
After all, paying this cruel price was the only way she could obtain happiness.
After all...
She mischievously planted a light kiss on Reiko's soft cheek.
She could no longer live without this warmth. That night... the sorrow that was enough to directly drown her could return anytime, anywhere, dragging her back into the abyss of loneliness.
Rather than that, she would prefer to...
Die.
So...
She lifted her head, meeting Reiko's purple eyes that flickered with emotion, which reflected her own slightly pale face.
Tsuan tried hard to curve her lips into a lively smile... attempting to dispel the emotion in Reiko's eyes that she couldn't understand but still categorized as 'worry.'
Then she stood up... her footsteps carrying a deliberate lightness toward the bathroom.
The glass door gently closed behind her, shutting out Reiko's gaze.
Tsuan leaned back against the door panel, taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling.
The mirror in the bathroom reflected her own image. In the depths of her crimson pupils, that barely perceptible tension finally emerged without concealment.
She reached out her finger, unconsciously stroking across the mirror surface. The coolness from her fingertip made her slightly tremble.
Twenty-four hours...
This cold number struck at her heart like a heavy second hand.
It had been almost exactly a day since she woke up in bed yesterday after falling from the building. That cardiac arrest-like void, the coldness of consciousness stripping away, the agony of broken bones...
All the sensations she used to exchange for happiness were surging like tides in the depths of her memory as this time point approached, silently reminding her—
The next payment was close at hand.
The time that had been lively and light beside Reiko became especially thick and heavy behind the cold door panel of the bathroom.
She leaned against the door, her crimson eyes fixed on the time displayed on her phone.
Every imperceptible movement of the second hand was like a heavy hammer striking her taut nerves.
Yesterday when she woke up, it was around 10:20.
And now... 10:19:58... 10:19:59...
Rather than pressing the switch here and scaring Reiko as well as blowing up the bathroom, Tsuan decided to wait until the time came, then quietly find a place to detonate, then use the resurrection feature to return to bed, perfectly timing it to go out with Reiko.
10:20:43
Silence.
Absolute, suffocating silence echoed in the bathroom, making Tsuan uncertain whether she had already 'disappeared.'
The somewhat too-loud heartbeat in her chest due to the quiet reminded her to go do what needed to be done.
Thump... thump... thump...
She counted one hundred heartbeats, then opened her phone again.
The time clearly showed: 10:22:08
Mm, already two minutes overtime... she should have disappeared by now.
"Reiko?"
She softly called her friend's name, and after waiting three seconds, resignedly took out the self-destruct switch, preparing to find a good place when...
"I'm here, what's wrong, Tsuan-chan? Did you run out of shampoo?"
Reiko's response left Tsuan somewhat incredulous. She looked down at her own hands, fingers curling and extending, skin warm, touch real. She even forcefully pinched her own arm—clear pain came through.
"I'm... still here?"
Before she could think about what her current situation was, whether divine mercy had extended the time she could exchange, or... some unknown change had occurred.
Knock knock knock.
A series of crisp knocking sounds broke the suffocating silence in the bathroom.
"Tsuan-chan?"
Reiko's voice, carrying a trace of barely perceptible worry, came through the door.
"Are you okay? You've been in there for a long time. Megumi and Amber are already downstairs, urging us."
Megumi and Amber... were already here?
"Wasn't it supposed to be twelve o'clock...?"
Tsuan's confused voice received Reiko's more helpless answer.
"Because they felt waiting was too boring, so they came early to find us... anyway, that's what they both said."
Megumi-chan and Amber came too? And... came early to find me?
But I should have already disappeared by now!
She stood like a lost child, bewildered looking at that door that separated her from her friend.
"Tsuan-chan?"
Reiko's voice came closer, carrying worried probing.
"Should we go down? Or make them wait a bit longer?"
Go down? To see Megumi and Amber? In this state... where she wasn't sure why she existed?
Tsuan's brain was in chaos. She wasn't prepared to face this accident.
She had prepared to pay with her life and then meet her friends with twenty-four hours of existence...
But now like this... this feeling of 'overstaying' left her at a loss.
Fear, bewilderment, and a trace of weak... hope she dared not think deeply about kept churning in her heart.
The sound of the door handle turning rang out. Seeing her prolonged lack of response, Reiko was ultimately somewhat worried and gently pushed open the door.
What met Reiko's eyes was Tsuan leaning against the door panel, her face pale to near transparency, her crimson eyes filled with bewilderment and confusion that was about to overflow.
"Tsuan-chan!"
Reiko's heart tightened, immediately stepping forward and cupping Tsuan's cold cheeks with both hands.
"What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell somewhere?"
Her eyes full of anxiety and concern awakened Tsuan.
The black-haired girl opened her mouth but couldn't make any sound. What could she say? That she should have disappeared but didn't?
That she was now like a game bug, lingering in this world?
Or that she was now questioning whether she needed to press the switch?
"No, nothing... that, Reiko..."
She stepped back, forcing a lively smile for Reiko, then gently closed the glass door.
"I'll wash my hair first!"
Hot water flowed across her scalp, streaming down her hair, finally pooling on the floor.
Accompanied by the pattering sound of water by her ears—
I'm still here, time's up, I didn't disappear...?
These words finally connected coherently, penetrating her confusion and bewilderment, igniting a weak but real light in her heart.
Just then, Amber's energetic voice that could completely penetrate walls came from outside the door.
"Tsuan-chan! Reiko! Come down quickly! The movie's about to start!!!"
Immediately followed by Megumi's lively, soft voice:
"Don't listen to this girl's nonsense! There's still a very, very long time. Tsuan-chan and Reiko can rest a bit more~"
The voices of two friends, who were also magical girl companions, were close at hand, crystal clear.
And she was only separated from Reiko by a door.
The fact that all three friends could now see her was self-evident.
It's true! I haven't disappeared.
I'm still here... I can go see them, right now, immediately!
"Re... Reiko..."
Tsuan's voice, carrying a faint crying tone, was filled with joy at being able to enjoy happiness overtime.
"I... let's go down quickly, don't keep them waiting!"
She pulled Reiko's hand with her wet long hair, her footsteps carrying a kind of lightness like surviving a disaster and urgency, rushing toward the door...
Then was caught by Reiko and dragged back to dry her hair.
But that didn't matter either...
She forcefully hugged the student council president in front of her, her wet little head mischievously rubbing all over her.
Sunlight had never shone so brilliantly in the stairwell, nor had it ever shone so warmly into Tsuan's crimson eyes.
When she appeared at the staircase entrance with still somewhat damp long hair, out of breath, seeing Amber's overly brilliant smile and Megumi's water-blue eyes in the sunlight, a new feeling filled with endless hope exploded in her chest.
She was still here, she hadn't been forgotten, hadn't been erased. Her payment seemed to have... paused?
Or... extended, allowing her to enjoy a bit more?
This thought brought such wild joy and disbelief that she temporarily forgot to investigate the cause, only wanting to tightly grasp this happiness that was lost and regained, or rather... never lost.
She released Reiko's hand, like a little bird finally breaking free from an invisible cage, with an unprecedentedly bright smile, rushing toward the friends waiting for her.
"Amber! Megumi-chan! I'm here!"
No matter what, right now... everything was happiness.
Even though a few hours later, Tsuan would press the switch again and again, tirelessly paying with her life.