Magical Girl with Demonic Time Magic-Chapter 77: Envy

Chapter 77: Envy
"Thank you for accepting Ayane," Itsuki says with a smile for having accepted his invitation to date. I end up handing his letter back as a way of saying I’ve accepted.
"You won’t regret it, Ayane, I swear I’ll follow your boundaries," he says, as I made it clear that there would be no touching, kissing, or anything advanced in the beginning, since we barely know each other to have that kind of intimacy.
"I appreciate your understanding," I tell him.
"So how about we go on a date tonight? You can choose the place, and we can meet there if you don’t feel comfortable with me picking you up at home," he says excitedly.
"Hmm, I think we can go to a diner near the city center, we can meet there," I show him on my phone.
"I know the place, so it’s set for 7 PM, how’s that?" he asks, and I nod, seems good enough.
It’s been two days since Setsuna hasn’t come to school, recovering. It’s a shame, I think I can tell her tomorrow how the date with Itsuki went.
...
...
...
"Setsuna, for someone who said she’s okay with Ayane’s relationship, you’re really active, don’t you think?" I question Setsuna, who is on top of a building, observing the diner down below.
"Shut up, Hexael," Setsuna says as she adjusts the scope of her sniper rifle to get a better view of Ayane and her new boyfriend. As soon as I told Setsuna that Ayane was going on a date, she got up from her bed and came after her.
For someone who says she doesn’t care, she’s showing a lot of proactivity in gathering information.
I climb on Setsuna’s back, observing down below. It’s 7:03 PM, and I see Ayane and that guy together, they both arrived around the same time and soon enter the diner.
I just observe silently, relishing in my luck. I never expected Ayane to get a boyfriend, this is perfect to make Setsuna lose herself in jealousy over time.
I watch Setsuna’s every reaction as she observes the date. Ayane and the guy seem happy, they both ordered food and are eating while chatting.
There are some laughs as they seem to get to know each other better, it’s just a normal date without anything extraordinary, what matters is how Setsuna reacts.
Her heart is beating abnormally fast, her body is as rigid as steel, her eyes don’t blink as she observes through the rifle’s scope, and her hands are trembling with anger.
Silence follows the night as 1 hour passes and the two come out of the diner, seeming to have had a good time. Soon, Ayane and the guy separate, going their own ways, while Setsuna puts away her gun.
’While Ayane goes to heaven, Setsuna goes to the deepest valley of hell... this analogy fits the situation perfectly.’ It’s ironic how this can be defined so easily.
While Setsuna wants Ayane to be happy, she’s sinking into bad feelings herself.
"Let’s go," Setsuna says as she gets up and starts walking.
"You seem distraught, maybe it’s because you saw that Ayane doesn’t need you to be happy?" I provoke Setsuna, who just ignores me.
"..."
"Ignore me, I don’t care anyway. How about you go hunt some monsters to cheer up?"
"...Not a bad idea," she says, accepting the suggestion, her voice as cold as ice as she adjusts her uniform’s jacket.
She starts walking, hunting monsters on top of the rooftops, and I follow her with a smile. We quickly find a man being attacked by a monster, and she calmly adjusts the sniper and aims, waiting for the perfect moment.
"..." I look anxiously as she aims, if you look for monsters in the city, especially at night, it’s quite easy, but what interests me is how Setsuna is focused on the perfection of the shot rather than saving that man’s life.
She patiently waits and aims, soon delivering a shot that destroys the monster’s head in a single shot.
"This isn’t as satisfying, is it? I’d say you even find it annoying. So how about killing a person?" I speak in a provocative tone, if she wants to kill that man, it will be quite easy.
"Hexael, stop bothering me," she says, annoyed.
"Think about it, Setsuna. What if you killed that guy? Ayane isn’t even attached to him, if that guy disappeared, she wouldn’t care. You could easily get rid of him."
"That..."
"But you can’t~" I interrupt her before she can speak.
"You can’t kill him because we have an agreement. Killing him would be interfering with Ayane’s decision, which you can’t do unless you admit to losing, which means your jealousy is greater than your desire to make Ayane happy," I say in a provocative tone.
"..." Setsuna grips the gun so hard that I hear the sound of metal creaking, even though the gun is not even close to breaking.
"Stop trying to manipulate me, Hexael, I don’t care about that," Setsuna says seriously, and I decide to stop for now, too much insistence is not the key to success.
"How about going to get a good meal? A hamburger sounds like a good idea, or you can go masturbate thinking about Ayane, that idea seems even more wonderful, don’t you think?" I say with false kindness.
"Haaa..." She just sits on the edge of the building and looks up at the sky.
"Hexael... why do I feel this way?" She asks, knowing that I know more about her than she knows about herself.
"Because you’re jealous. You’re jealous of what you can’t have and give to Ayane right now. It’s simple, and in the end, that’s what still makes you human." In the end, Setsuna is still human, even if she’s a broken and unstable one.
"..."
"...Hexael, am I envious of Ayane?" Setsuna asks, more as an affirmation, surprising me. The question was unexpected.
"You’re right, you’re envious of Ayane, and becoming a girl has only made that envy more obvious. It seems you’ve noticed it yourself, huh? What gave that away?"
I wonder how Setsuna noticed that she’s full of envy towards Ayane. Setsuna has a huge mix of 3 main emotions: obsession, jealousy, and envy.
Setsuna’s envy appears in a very subtle way, usually with her "copying" Ayane, like saying she likes to eat what Ayane likes to eat, saying she likes animals because Ayane likes animals.
Even Setsuna’s beautiful calligraphy was made in an attempt to surpass Ayane in something. But Setsuna’s envy is so subtle and well-hidden that no one notices, even though there are signs of it.
"What gave it away... is that... seeing her on that date gave me an unpleasant feeling of comparison... if I had normal feelings like everyone else, could I live a life like hers?"
"I can never stop asking myself that... I love her, love her too much... but it’s annoying how she has everything I lack. Since childhood, she’s always had everything I was missing."
"I’m like an inferior shadow of her. She had a present family, has emotions, has a good life, has real friends, has dreams, has hope, and has genuine kindness... while I... have nothing."
"I have no family, no proper emotions, no stable or adequate life, no friends, and hope? I don’t even know what that really is. All I have is love for Ayane and the desire to... fit into her world."
"Maybe that’s why I started loving her obsessively? Because she’s like the sun and I’m the moon that can only reflect her brightness? All I can do is try to make her life happy and safe while only waiting for crumbs of her attention."
"I don’t even know why I love her, it just happened out of nowhere and grew at some point." She murmurs, covering her eyes with her hands, but not crying.
"Forever the second place, I guess..." She murmurs, seeming more vulnerable than when Ayane died, and that’s amusing.
"Seems you’ve always seen the truth yourself, so why do you so determinedly hide who you really are?"
"..."
"Is your fear of showing your true self that great? Think about it, Setsuna, nothing forces you to be the moon that only uses the sun’s brightness to shine. In the end, you just need to make Ayane yours, and..."
Setsuna grabs my head, interrupting me, and then squeezes it until my head explodes. A long silence takes over the place as I reappear with another body on the other side of Setsuna, my face has a big smile.
"Stop that, get out of here! STOP MESSING WITH MY HEAD!" She attacks me as I jump, evading.
"Tsk, you’re so hot-tempered. Okay, I’ll go for today, Setsuna. Enjoy the rest of your night," I say maliciously as I start to move away from the unstable Setsuna.
’What a shame, I was so close.’ She is really mentally resilient, but one day I’ll break those defenses. What Setsuna said is not even 3% of what she really feels deep down.
But at least it’s progress, she acknowledges being obsessive, jealous, and envious, but there’s still a long way for her to come out of that protective shell that hides her true self.
"Hmm, it was fun at least," I murmur with an amused smile on my face.