Maniac’s Mayhem-Chapter Thirty Four: The Endless Todo List
(Deatnite)
Buy milk.
Clean the yard
.
Check the gun safety locker
.
Do laundry.
Kill aliens.
Pick up son from school
.
Speak to charity managers.
Kill more aliens.
Cook dinner
.Shower
.
(Sparkling Magenta Explosion)
Hair and makeup
.
Edit the video of the new samurai
.
Check new merch ideas.
Do a workers' wellness check
.
Create some articles.
Stream for at least four hours
.
Go on a date.
(Silver Scorpion)
Check the car maintenance.
Refill ammunition.
Participate in weapon training
.
Meet family for lunch.
Work on the mechanical apprenticeship program
.
Update social media
.
(Liquid Catalyst)
Eat breakfast
.
Go to school.
Study for the math test.
Test new chemical solution.
Put on fancy underwear for date
.
Go on a date
.
(Maniac)
Just please, don’t break anything
--PsyCo daily ToDo list
“Please tell me you have a good reason for wrecking my facility.” A man in a high-backed chair says by way of greeting.
I raise my eyebrow, looking the man over, feeling rather pleased with myself for going with my disguise active, so they can see the different expressions that I make. He is in his mid-thirties, has a nice suit, and if my digital pings are correct, a decent amount of tech hidden away in his body. He is wearing a suit, but it looks more like a casual one. One made for comfort rather than looking as fancy as possible. I should buy Evelin a few of those suits.
For the rest, the room is interesting, lots of screens with stuff going on, but also a bunch of pictures of different samurai, as well as mercenaries, and family photos all around the place. I walk up to a picture that has the same man in it, next to a woman with two little boys.
“Your family?” I ask.
The man frowns, “What do you think you're doing?”
“Asking pointless questions just like you.” I say, giving him a smile with too many teeth.
“Well, at least you are as insufferable as the rumours say.” He says with a sigh.
“Huh, I never thought of myself as a consistent person before.”
Mr. Director just shakes his head. “We should really give you a therapist”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why? You definitely have a few screws loose in there.” he points at his head.
“Ahh, don’t worry about that. It’s a common mistake. You see, the plates in my head were sealed with nanites, not screws, so there is nothing that can get loose in there.” I say, grinning from ear to ear.
“Right, this is getting me nowhere. Back to my original question, why did you break the wall?”
I pause, a bit confused. “Wait, that was a serious question?” he just nods “It’s rather simple. You put me in a cell, I don’t like being in a cell, so I broke out. It's my human right.”
“This is Switzerland, not Austria; that right does not exist here.” He says.
I just shrug, “Regardless, I am not a criminal, so I won’t be put into a cell.” I cross my arms.
“You admitted to pulling the shields down, collapsing half of the city.” he says in a steady tone.
“First of all, you have no proof. Second,, that is not a crime.”
“There’s cameras and we have samurai on staff, we have a recording of you saying exactly that. You took down the shield, that is a crime. There have already been s of twenty thousand casualties, including a samurai.”
I just scoff. Then I pause, ‘Lyssa, are there cameras in this room?’
Yes, there are, but Lyssa would recommend against killing him; even with no camera evidence, they would still know it was you.
‘Not what I wanted, just turn them on and stream it over the web and news’
Certainly.
“Okay, buddy, I might have taken down the shield, but I am not responsible for the death it caused. Do you know why?” I pause “Because I did not put the fucking shield there. If I were to capture you and put you in a wooden box, then rig the wooden box to explode a city as soon as you escape it. Is the resulting explosion your fault or mine?”
I look at him. He just stares back, setting his jaw “So what you’re saying is that your actions did not kill a bunch of people?”
I walk in closer, leaning over the desk and staring straight into his eyes, “Tell me who put that shield there.”
He backs off, his chair rolling back, “I don’t know.”
“Maybe you should find that out first. Somebody put it there, and if I were a betting woman, I would bet that it was placed there for malicious reasons. I will take none of the responsibility for that.”
“So what are you saying?” he says, looking at me, a bit unsure.
“I am saying that if you’re going to point fingers, you make sure that all the parties involved are present and not just put all the blame on me because it is convenient.“ With that, I turn around and start to leave.
The man behind the desk stands up, “Hey, where do you think you are going?”
I give him a wink before sliding my mask back, covering my face completely, “Wherever I damn well please. “ I turn my head looking at him sideways while raising my voice several octaves “After all, someone thought it would be a good idea to give the psychopath teleportation." and with that, I teleport away while cackling to myself.
I reappeared outside the building proper. Well, now what? Teleporting all the way back home sounds like a pain, and all the squad cars are out, so no way I can steal one of those. I guess I still have my legs, so walking is definitely an option.
Just when I am about to walk in a random direction, Evelin speaks up.
“Maniac?” Her voice sounds small, like she is hurt and very upset.
I instantly freeze. Something is up “What's wrong? Shouldn't I have done that? I am sorry, I just got upset.”
“Done what?” she asks, confused. “And nothing is wrong. It's just weird, and we need to hurry.”
“Okay, where are we going and why?”
“We are going to Rome”, she says, full of determination.
I immediately turn my butt around and walk back to the facility. “Lyssa, find me the closest car I can steal.”
You know that you can just buy a car, right? Lyssa has found the perfect option.
I pause, “You know what? Sure, that sounds fun. Just make sure you can drive it, because I have no fucking clue how to operate a car.”
Lyssa will take your driving skills into consideration when selecting a vehicle.
Class 1 Utility Vehicles
Points reduced to... 532
New Purchase: Crash Safe Hover Truck
Points reduced to... 332
Materialising in front of me is an honest-to-goodness ambulance; the weird, odd, greenish-yellow colouring with the red and blue stripes at the front. The only difference is that instead of the blue thing with the snake, it has my mask with some kind of glitching effect. On the side in a blue font, Maniac Medicare is written.
“You got me an ambulance? Is this some kind of joke about my driving skills?” I say, feeling slightly offended.
No, a hearse would not have enough room for upgrades.
Well, can’t argue with that logic, so let's table the discussion for now. I quickly open the driver's seat and hop inside. “Okay, so why are we going to Rome? It's not that I mind going, but I am curious.”
“Well, while you were creating another viral video, I was hanging out in the cube with Crow.” Evelin explains.
“Wait, you can do that?” I ask, confused. We have been trying that for months.
“Yeah, it is a lot easier than trying to control the swords for some reason, and Crow helped a lot. Anyway, Mio left a message there.”
“Ooh right! Fuck, I kind of forgot about them. How are they doing?” I suddenly feel bad. We kind of left them hanging.
“They're doing fine, I think. But when we didn't crawl out of the wreck of the building, they bailed.” Evelin explains.
“Understandable, but I don’t think they could return to the company, so where did they go?”
“Well, apparently, they had full confidence that we would survive and did some digging about us.” She says, sounding excited
“And I assume they found something?” I ask, feeling a bit curious now as well.
“Yeah, they did. Jacob had a diary, a video one, and recorded messages on it every few weeks.”
“Jacob? Our brother Jacob left a diary?” I start feeling a bit more unsure now. Watching those can’t be great.
“Yeah, and it is filled with messages for us.” That explains the weird mix of emotions, but still.
“I would love to see them sometimes, but that still does not explain the need for us to go to Rome.”
“Oh, that's because of the last few messages. Jacob fell in love with a girl in the work camp, the girl got pregnant, and he managed to smuggle her out. Our friends have traced her current residence to somewhere in Rome.”
I feel like I just got sucker punched by that bit of information “So, what are you saying, is that we have a sister in law and a little niece or nephew in Rome.”
“Yeah, exactly, they should be about three years old, and I think we should say hello.”
You know, I don't even know how to react to that information. Should I cry in happiness that I still have family, be upset that I only found out now, or just not care? I don’t know these people, so I am unsure what to do. Luckily, someone decided to distract me. I get an incoming call with no name or caller ID, just a picture of a little white fox.
“If you’re going to lecture me now, I will find a way to stuff your own tail up your ass. I don’t care if it takes me a month or ten years to get there, I will do it!" I growl out as soon as I pick up the phone.
“Sounds more like you need a hug or something.” Luna says, “Want to talk about it?”
“What is there to talk about? My life is a mess, and problems keep piling up. And now I find out that I am apparently an aunt, but you know, I don’t feel happy.” I sigh, “I feel like I should be dancing and shouting in joy, but instead I just feel numb. I guess I really am just broken.”
“Well, if I had to guess, you still feel hurt about the death of your family, and some lost family member showing up opens up that wound, which would make you go into defensive mode, so it should be fine.”
“Right, I guess that could be it.” I say, without much commitment. I just want to get this all over with, then sit down with someone professional, maybe Lyssa or something.
“Why don’t I come over and we can talk face to face?” Luna asks.
“No, thanks, I am about halfway to Rome to pick up my niece or nephew and whoever else is there.”
“Don’t you need backup?” Luna asks, sounding concerned.
“I have backup there. Sure, they're not samurai, but I can give them some weapons to work with, and even though I haven't worked with them that long, I see no reason for them to betray me.”
“Well, stay safe, times are changing and that makes people unpredictable.”
“Oh, I know. I feel like I have been in the eye of the storm for a while now.” I say mockingly.
Luna laughs “Honey, there’s a lot more crazy assholes in the world with power than you think.”
I laugh, “Okay, that's fair. Could you tell one of those to come over and stay in Europe for a while, so that I can take some vacation days?”
“I'll see what I can do. Who knows, your place seems nice, so maybe I’ll visit for a while.”
“I thought I said I wanted a vacation, not another headache.” I say, feeling much better. “Anyway, talk to you later. I think I have to make a few more calls.”
.
!
Chapter Thirty Four: The Endless Todo List
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