Naruto: Reborn as Uchiha Obito-Chapter 162 159: Couples Tour… After a Massacre

Obito snapped out of his thoughts and refocused on the old toad sitting before him.
His Sharingan glimmered faintly behind the mask.
With a casual tilt of his head, he asked:
"Any last words?"
The Great Toad Sage's eyelids fluttered.
For a moment, his old voice carried something heavy… almost mournful.
"This world…" he began quietly, as if trying to force out a warning—
But that was all he got.
"Devouring Coffin."
Obito raised his hand and the black coffin erupted around the old toad instantly, swallowing him whole.
A deep hum filled the air as the coffin began its absorption process, devouring chakra, energy, and essence alike.
Obito exhaled through his nose.
"Did you really think I'd let you start talking?" he said, shaking his head.
"That's exactly how villains usually get fucked up."
He crossed his arms, watching the coffin do its work.
"…Still though," he muttered, brow twitching behind the mask,
"didn't this go a little too smoothly?"
There was no resistance.
No last-minute prophecy.
No secret technique.
No dramatic counterattack.
Obito tilted his head slightly.
"Why does this feel… suspicious as hell?" he thought.
Shouldn't there be some kind of dramatic, desperate trump card?
A final sage art?
Some last-ditch explosion meant to drag him down with the old geezer?
Something?
Anything?
But no.
The coffin just continued absorbing obediently like a good machine.
Obito stood there, staring at it.
"…This feels like one of those conspiracy plot setups in the novels I read in my past life," he muttered internally.
But then another thought hit him.
"…Still," he muttered internally,
"shouldn't the Sage of Six Paths have seen his old buddy getting murked?"
Hagoromo was supposed to be watching everything from the Pure Land, right?
All-knowing, all-seeing, Mr. God-of-Chakra.
Yet…
Obito looked around.
Silence.
No giant spirit hologram.
No "My child, stop this."
No philosophical lecture.
"…He must be peeping," Obito thought blandly.
"No way he didn't see this. He just didn't show up."
Obito tapped his finger against his cloak.
"So the Pure Land's rules really bind him more than I thought, huh? Or maybe…"
His Sharingan narrowed, amused.
"…he just doesn't want to interfere with the world's direction."
Meaning...
So long as his mommy Kaguya didn't crawl out of somewhere to cause trouble…
Hagoromo was perfectly fine doing absolutely nothing.
Obito exhaled sharply.
"So basically… the old man is chilling unless a rabbit goddess starts nuking humanity.
Just sitting there watching everything in 4K."
He let out a soft laugh beneath the mask.
"…That's fucked up."
--
Because Obito's power had grown absurdly strong by this point, the Devouring Coffin worked faster than ever.
The black coffin vibrated once—twice—then collapsed into shadowy dust that faded into the air.
Left behind in Obito's hand were two crimson items, gleaming with condensed energy from the Great Toad Sage.
Obito caught them casually, turning them over between his fingers.
"Huh. Finally."
He clenched his hand once, feeling their energy—both physical and spiritual.
Then he popped the items into his mouth one after another.
Crunch.
Crunch.
He chewed like someone eating cheap candy.
"Man…" he said as he swallowed, shaking his head,
"For a guy who lived for thousands of years… you taste like expired vitamins."
He dusted off his gloves.
"Well, at least he wasn't bitter. I'll give him that."
With a sigh of complete indifference, Obito rolled his shoulders and stretched lightly, as if he'd just finished cleaning a dirty room.
"…That's that. Next."
He rolled his neck once, cracking it lightly.
A lazy sigh escaped him.
"Let's go finish this real mess real quick."
--
When Obito appeared on the battlefield, the stench of burnt flesh and acid hit him first.
Then the sight.
Dozens of toads roasted alive, their bodies charred black.
Others were half-dissolved piles of steaming mush.
Some were cleanly bisected, their remains scattered like discarded props.
A massacre.
Obito stepped forward, boots splashing into a melted mix of blood and liquefied flesh.
"Damn…" he muttered quietly, staring at the carnage for a moment.
Not in guilt.
Just… observing how thorough it was.
His gaze shifted and he froze for half a second.
A massive corpse lay ahead, cut completely in half.
Blood poured out like a ruptured water tank, flooding the rocky ground in crimson waves.
Gamabunta.
On the opposite side, two tiny shapes drew his attention.
"Shima… Fukasaku…"
Except calling them "bodies" was generous.
They were melted almost beyond recognition, only a few remaining parts hinting at what once existed.
Obito exhaled slowly.
This place looked less like a sacred sage land
and more like the aftermath of a natural disaster or two S-rank women in Sage Mode going wild.
A light set of footsteps approached.
Yugao, blade dripping fresh blood, turned toward him with a soft smile.
"Did you finish your work too?" she asked, walking calmly across the torn battlefield.
"Yeah." Obito nodded. "Where's Mei? I don't see her."
"Oh, she chased after a little frog that somehow snuck out with some sneaky trick. Don't worry—she said it won't cause trouble. She told me to trust her."
She arrived in front of him, sword lowered.
Obito raised a hand and gently patted her head.
"Well done."
Yugao's smile brightened instantly, eyes softening with quiet happiness.
"Well, well…"
A mocking, charming voice echoed from behind.
"Poor me~ I was risking my life out here, and the moment I come back, you two are showing affection. That really hurts, you know."
Obito didn't need to turn around.
Terumi Mei's voice was unmistakable.
"Tch…" Yugao muttered without embarrassment, eyes narrowing,
"I even explained your mess for you, and you still complain."
Mei only smirked, placing her hands on her hips.
"So, my lord… what now? Do we leave? Or do you have something else in mind?"
Obito glanced around the ruined battlefield.
"Hm… this place is very suitable for living.
Its defenses against outside threats are top-notch."
He paused, then added with dry annoyance:
"But it does need renovation.
This toad-style aesthetic really isn't for me."
Mei laughed softly.
Yugao nodded in agreement.
Mount Myōboku was a sacred sage land but even in the Boruto era, it was considered one of the safest hidden realms, a place even Otsutsuki and other monsters struggled to find.
That alone made it incredibly valuable.
Mei brushed her hair off her shoulder and stretched like she'd just finished a spa session.
"Well then," she said brightly,
"since we've already… dealt with everything here, why don't we take a little tour?"
Yugao blinked her big eyes and tilted her head.
"A tour? Here?"
Mei smiled charmingly, as if stating something painfully obvious.
"Of course. Even though the design is ancient and desperately outdated…"
She spread her arms dramatically.
"This place still has a certain… vintage charm."
Obito stared at her blankly.
"…Vintage charm," he repeated in a monotone, glancing at a half-melted toad corpse dripping into a crater.
"Yeah. Totally the first thing that comes to mind."
Mei ignored him entirely.
"There are waterfalls, ancient stone paths, glowing moss, floating platforms… you know, normal Sage Land attractions. It would be a waste to leave without a little sightseeing."
Yugao crossed her arms.
"Yeah, but half of those 'normal things' are currently on fire thanks to your Lava Style."
Mei gasped dramatically.
"Oh, how rude~ It wasn't all my Lava Style. Your swordsmanship turned Gamabunta into sashimi, and that made the whole place look messy."
"That was teamwork," Yugao said coldly.
"You cut him in half emotionally by killing Shima and Fukasaku first and making him lose his mind. I just cut him physically."
Obito pinched the bridge of his nose under the mask.
"…Can you two stop narrating the battlefield like it's a cooking show?"
Mei clapped her hands once.
"Perfect! Let's start the tour then."
Obito stared at her, completely confused.
"Wait—what tour? Who agreed—"
But Mei had already looped her arm around his.
"Come now, my lord. The scenery won't admire itself."
Yugao silently took his other arm, expression calm but eyes proud.
Mei shot Yugao a smirk, raising her eyebrows as she set the bait, knowing she would take it.
"Oh? Trying to steal the right arm again? How bold."
"I don't need to steal anything," Yugao replied smoothly.
"I was here first."
Sure enough, the moment Yugao took the bait, Mei unleashed her trump card.
"That's debatable—depending on which 'first time' you're talking about."
"No, it's not," Yugao said, fire in her eyes.
She knew exactly what this filthy woman meant.
Once upon a time, they were best friends.
Now? Open warfare.
Obito's eyelid twitched.
"…Why am I here."
They approached a waterfall whose crystalline water once sparkled beautifully.
Now?
Half the cascade had hardened mid-flow—the water flash-evaporated and the leftover minerals fused into a steaming rock shell from Mei's Lava Dragon Fang.
Mei pointed proudly.
"See? Even damaged, it's quite beautiful, right?"
Obito deadpanned.
"You literally cooked half the waterfall."
"It adds a different style," Mei insisted with a serious face.
"A unique artistic scenery in its own way."
Yugao nodded. "I liked it better before."
Mei rolled her eyes. "No one asked you."
Then they reached the ancient stone path that once led to the Great Toad Sage's training grounds.
Now it was a smoking trench of destruction.
Mei smiled with full confidence...while making things up.
"Ah yes, the historic pathway..."
"—that you disintegrated," Yugao added, not letting her rewrite history again.
Mei flicked her hair. "It was in the way."
Obito kicked a burnt rock.
"There is no path. It's literally a ditch."
"A scenic ditch," Mei corrected.
Obito stared at her calmly.
"A ditch."
Mei stared back, narrowing her eyes.
"A scenic one."
Yugao murmured quietly,
"You two need to stop acting like little kids."
Obito was about to say something when...
A small purple-glowing bug landed on his mask.
Stared at him.
Exploded in a puff of purple powder.
Obito froze, completely off guard and speechless.
"…Did that firefly just self-destruct on my mask?"
"With you as the target? Looks like it," Yugao replied, her mouth twitching.
Mei covered her mouth.
"Maybe it hates your mask."
Obito sighed deeply.
"…Next time, I'm banning tours."
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