Simulated Lives: The Sorrow of the Sword Maiden-Chapter 10 – What exactly did I do wrong?

[You and your master, Li Wanshou, have discussed everything.]
[You are acutely aware of how dire your physical condition is, with no hope of recovery, so you begin to make arrangements for the future.]
[To ensure your sister can live a better life, you start teaching her, covering but not limited to cultivation, life skills, and the Four Arts of Cultivation.]
[Your sister relies heavily on you, but you begin to distance yourself, hoping to reduce her dependency and weaken the bond between you.]
[You see yourself as someone on the brink of death.]
[You shouldn't be a stumbling block for the girl's future.]
[With your current relationship, once you leave the Heavenly Sword Sect, Xu Moli will undoubtedly go to great lengths to find you. Thus, you are actively damaging this relationship, hoping to lower Xu Moli's affection for you, or even make her hate you.]
[Only then will she not search for the missing you.]
[Only then will she not discover the truth.]
[Only then can you leave in peace...]
[Your actions have been effective. Under your deliberate neglect and disregard, Xu Moli's dependency on you has lessened, yet she still holds you in high regard, seeing you as an elder brother.]
[Under your guidance, Xu Moli officially becomes a Qi Refining Stage cultivator. She is delighted, but you simply say one word under her expectant gaze.]
["Average."]
[Xu Moli feels wronged by your coldness, but instead of comforting her, you arrange for more cultivation lessons.]
[You are anxious. In theory, you have three years left to live, but signs of your body's collapse have begun to appear.]
[One day, you notice a problem with your hearing.]
[You disguise it well, and the girl doesn't notice anything wrong with your body. You silently accelerate the teaching process, wanting to train the girl to be independent before your body completely fails.]
[Your overly harsh teaching plan causes the girl more dissatisfaction and grievance. She begins to doubt her importance in your heart.]
[Why has it come to this? Why has the once caring and loving brother become so cold?]
[More grievances, more doubts, Xu Moli can no longer endure.]
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***
Half a year later.
Inside the cave dwelling.
The young girl, with a delicate and ethereal appearance, has tears glistening at the corners of her eyes, her lips tightly pressed, as if countless grievances are swirling in her heart.
Her lips tremble slightly: "Brother, what did I do wrong..."
Silence.
A long silence.
Facing his sister's inquiry, Xu Xi shakes his head: "You did nothing wrong."
"Then what is it, brother—"
"Moli."
Xu Xi interrupts the girl's questioning, his eyes slightly closed, as if recalling something: "Do you remember how long we've lived together?"
The girl doesn't understand why this question suddenly arises, but she instinctively answers: "Seventeen years."
Seventeen years.
This is the total time Xu Xi has simulated, and also the girl's own age.
"Yes, it's been seventeen years."
Xu Xi speaks softly, his voice filled with deep fatigue and an undeniable hoarseness and numbness.
"When I first met you, you were just a newborn. To keep you alive, I had to trade my last bit of food for some milk.
I was truly starving back then... But I still worried every day, afraid you wouldn't be happy, afraid you wouldn't be warm enough, afraid you wouldn't have enough to eat.
When you were ten, you suddenly fell ill, and it wasn't until this year, at seventeen, that you were cured. In between, there were seven years, and I ran around tirelessly for your illness for seven years."
Xu Xi's voice is calm, without complaint or blame.
It only reveals a sense of bitter fatigue.
"Moli, if it weren't for you, my life could have been more exciting.
I am human too, I have my own dreams, I can't think of everything for you, I'm not that great, do you understand?
You are seventeen now, no longer a child.
You should learn to take care of yourself and live independently!
I— Am tired."
Inside the cave dwelling, a stifling and oppressive atmosphere pervades.
The light becomes dim and blurry.
The girl's face turns pale, her eyes vacant, as if wanting to refute something, but in the end, she can only say: "So, does brother think Moli is a burden?"
"...Yes."
With a heavy heart, as if falling into a bottomless abyss, all emotions are devoured until only a hasty escape remains.
Xu Moli chokes, unable to make a sound.
She runs quickly.
Runs out of the cave dwelling.
Leaving only Xu Xi, drained of all strength, slumped in the wooden chair, speechless and lost in thought for a long time.
Humans are indeed contradictory creatures.
Xu Xi thought to himself.
He had prepared various excuses long ago to destroy his relationship with his sister, to erase the image of a good brother from the girl's heart.
But when it came to actually doing it, his heart still felt pained and reluctant.
"It really hurts... much more than when I burned my Spiritual Root..."
Xu Xi clutched his chest, muttering to himself: "But this way, that child can completely break free from my influence and live well in the Cultivation World."
[Your words are as sharp as swords, piercing and tearing apart the girl's heart.]
[She runs out alone for a long time.]
[Crying alone, grieving alone, wiping her tears alone, in the most pitiful, most aggrieved, most lonely posture, forcibly comforting herself in a deserted corner.]
[When Xu Moli returns, her expression has become much colder, and the look in her eyes towards you no longer holds the respect it once did, and she no longer complains about your training.]
[Your heart aches, yet your heart rejoices.]
[After this event, the girl's will becomes much stronger. As you sigh, you casually cover your mouth, not letting the girl see the blood you cough up.]
[You wholeheartedly assist the girl in her cultivation, and the high-intensity mental focus causes your body to collapse faster. On a morning in the eighteenth year of your crossing, you find yourself increasingly powerless.]
[You know it's time for you to leave.]
[Despite the reluctance in your heart, despite wanting to witness more of the girl's growth, staying in the Heavenly Sword Sect any longer will eventually lead to the girl discovering the truth.]
[You choose to leave without saying goodbye, piloting a Flying Boat to leave the Heavenly Sword Sect alone, breaking through the wind and clouds, heading towards a place far from the Cultivation World.]
[Where to go next?]
[You are confused.]
[For eighteen years, your goals have always been cultivation and taking care of your sister, but now, neither of these goals can continue.]
[After much thought, you decide to return to the once familiar Blackstone City, to spend the rest of your days alone.]
[The Cultivation World is vast, with countless mortal dynasties, and places for enjoyment are as numerous as the stars, but to you, none are as familiar and comfortable as Blackstone City, after all, it holds five years of memories with the girl.]
***
Whoosh—
The Flying Boat descends from the sky.
Unnoticed by anyone.
Silently, without a trace of cultivation or Spiritual Root, the young man, carrying a Wooden Sword, moves into the old wooden house of the past.
Living alone, waiting peacefully for death.
During this time.
There are still neighbors who remember the young man and greet him, and he responds to each one.
When asked why the girl is not seen, he merely smiles and avoids the topic.
Proofreader & Editor: Peter Pan