Simulated Lives: The Sorrow of the Sword Maiden-Chapter 35 – I will not abandon you

Krisa was crying as she ran away.
She ran far.
Very far.
So far that the knights sent by her "father" couldn't find a trace of her.
Since then, young Krisa began her life of wandering, constantly teetering between life and death.
Her identity as part of the Demon Race was too recognizable.
The kind-hearted people who initially wanted to adopt Krisa would scream in terror upon seeing the horns on her head and quickly flee.
Why?
Why must it be like this?
Young Krisa didn't understand, not until she grew older did she realize the reason behind people's fear.
This was a great era ruled by gods, where the deities were benevolent and magnanimous, protecting humanity with supreme divine power, while the Demon Race was seen as evil fools, always slaughtering humans and opposing the gods.
Thus, people genuinely loathed the Demon Race.
"Get out, get out!"
"Great Sun God, please send down your flames and burn this witch to death!"
People either drove her away with disgust or chased her with swords and knives.
Krisa couldn't find a place to settle down.
So, she could only heed her mother's last words, keep running, to a place far away, to a place where she could survive.
With such thoughts, Krisa wandered for a long time.
She had laughed, finding naturally fallen fruits by the roadside, biting into them, sweetness filling her heart.
She had cried, trying to join the games of human children, only to be ostracized and pelted with stones, leaving her covered in bruises.
Later on.
Both laughter and tears disappeared.
Only fear remained.
As Krisa grew, her demonic features became more pronounced.
Just by getting a little closer, people could clearly see the horns on her head, the scales on her body, symbols of a demon.
And so, more violence descended upon her.
They threw hard stones and rotten, foul-smelling food at her from afar, leaving her reeking and wounded.
They delighted in unleashing violence, kicking or whipping, taking pleasure in her pleas and screams.
They even tied her to the back of a carriage, dragging her along the ground.
Mother...
Why is it like this...
Through repeated torment, the light in the girl's eyes vanished completely, and from then on, her emotions became flawed.
She didn't know what joy was, nor where sadness came from.
"In fact, this is a good thing."
Krisa said this, her eyes blankly staring ahead, without a ripple, only an eternal void.
Without sadness, there would be no tears, saving a lot of energy. After losing her emotions, she could run much faster than before.
As long as she ran fast enough, she wouldn't get beaten.
Krisa shared her escape experiences with Xu Xi, speaking without expression, her tone devoid of any fluctuation.
She couldn't feel cold, couldn't feel heat, couldn't feel the warmth of her heart.
Like a robot.
Recounting her past.
She told Xu Xi that muddy water wasn't good to drink because it contained a lot of sand and stones, making her stomach uncomfortable.
By comparison, the city's drainage ditches might be better, as the rats inside could serve as food...
"Enough, Krisa!"
Xu Xi suddenly interrupted, breaking the girl's words.
He took a deep breath, his voice heavier than ever: "I'm sorry, truly sorry for making you recall so many painful things, I... am very sorry."
His remorseful voice shattered the silence in the air.
Especially after meeting Krisa's hollow, vacant eyes.
That remorse and guilt.
Became even deeper.
"Sorry...?" The demon girl seemed confused, unable to understand why Xu Xi was apologizing to her. Was it because she said something she shouldn't have?
The master couldn't be wrong, the sun that saved her couldn't be wrong.
Krisa genuinely believed this.
Since Xu Xi wasn't wrong.
Then the one at fault must be herself, right?
Thinking this, Krisa looked at Xu Xi, earnestly suggesting: "I must be useless to trouble you so much, please discard me."
Useless items should be thrown away, that's what the girl thought.
After all.
That's how her "father" discarded her.
The witch considered herself to have no merits, except for being very obedient.
Even though she liked Xu Xi very much, even though she wanted to stay by Xu Xi's side forever, even though she didn't want to wander anymore, if Xu Xi chose to discard her, she would definitely leave far away.
Just like when her mother told her to run, she obediently ran for a long time.
Yes.
Just being obedient was enough.
Krisa sat properly in place, her fingers interlocked on her lap, waiting for Xu Xi's judgment, to be cast out of this beautiful and dreamy home.
A bit reluctant, but there was no choice.
After all, she was so ugly, useless, and lowly.
Being discarded was only natural.
To have such a period of being treated gently, she should be content, how could she ask for more?
"..." Krisa sat quietly in place, still with that hollow, vacant face, but her interlocked fingers unconsciously rubbed together.
Though it was only a few seconds of waiting, it seemed to stretch infinitely.
Making the emotionless girl inexplicably uneasy.
Finally.
She awaited the final "judgment."
A warm, familiar, broad hand gently covered Krisa's head, moving left and right, conveying faint warmth and comfort.
"I will never abandon Krisa."
Xu Xi said this.
His voice was gentle, but his tone was firm, filled with heartache and affection.
"Eh," this result was clearly beyond the girl's expectations, she let out a flat sound of surprise, unexpectedly cute, looking up at Xu Xi.
"Really, Mentor?"
She asked.
"Yes, really."
Xu Xi replied.
The misfortune that had shrouded her since birth suddenly disappeared, the beauty that only appeared in dreams now truly illuminated reality.
Like a ray of light, bringing brightness to the girl.
Krisa was dazed for a long time.
She thought, if it were before, she might have laughed with joy or cried with emotion.
But after the emotional defect, she never experienced these two emotions again.
"…Thank you."
In the silent Meditation Chamber.
The girl suddenly felt a bit of a sting at the tip of her nose.
Perhaps she was tired from practicing meditation, she thought.
...
[The witch's talent surprises you, but what concerns you more is the witch's past and experiences.]
[Abuse, bullying, pursuit, torture, torment... Krisa has suffered almost every evil you can imagine, her life filled with hardship, if not for her young age, there might have been irreparable consequences.]
[You can't help but wonder if human malice surpasses the demons in the abyss.]
[You realize that merely cultivating Krisa's strength is far from enough.]
[You also need to nurture Krisa's character, so she becomes an independent person who can live well even without you.]