The Deadliest Lifeform in the Universe Loves Me-Volume 3: Gamma-12, Chapter 3.33

The Deadliest Lifeform in the Universe Loves Me-Volume 3: Gamma-12, Chapter 3.33

We were taken to a lift and then brought up to the arena, and it seemed like a mix of strange geometric shapes for cover fused with a warehouse/urban-battlefield combination, all dark with accents of muted colors, with red lights bordering the floor to keep the field dim but not dark. The arena was huge, but honestly the landscape was kind of confusing, although it seemed fitting for a laser-tag battleground. We were placed in some corner with a translucent forcefield so we could see the arena but couldn’t venture beyond it yet. A floating timer on the wall was counting down from 180 seconds. Suddenly, the silver highlights on our black suits started glowing blue, making us look like Tron characters. I moved my hand around, looking at all the lights, “Man, this is gonna be so badass.”
Lobae turned to Eve, “Now Eve, remember we have to play by the rules, there’s even a limit to what all cybernetic enhancements people are allowed to use when playing.” She warned her.
“What are you worried about, like I’m going to use my Predazoan abilities to win the game for us?” Eve asked, chuckling at the idea.
Actually, I found the idea pretty funny too, Eve manifesting scout-forms to locate and disorient our opponents. With her limitless potential she could win pretty much any game or competition of strength or skill in the universe.
“Well for starters, the metrics of your strength are far beyond what these suits could ever constrain; if you get hit and paralyzed you need to play along with it.” Zyno confirmed.
Eve waved it off, “Oh I know how to have fun, don’t you worry.” She smiled coyly and interlocked her fingers with mine, “I know how to be gentle.”
“That aside, I’m not above using
some
of your abilities to give us the edge.” Vinnago added.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
Vinnago shrugged, “Her extra senses, maybe using echolocation or something to locate our opponents through the walls.”
Eve nodded along, still smiling, “That should make winning this entire tournament a damn near guarantee.”
The timer finally ticked all the way down and the forcefield shimmered then vanished. A buzzing alarm blared all around the arena, followed by an elegant voice announcing the start of the match. My black and silver shotgun suddenly lit up with blue highlights to match my suit—everyone’s guns lit up to show they were all live. I cocked my shotgun and fired at the far wall, seeing what kind of weapon I was dealing with.
“Adam, don’t give away our position!” Lobae hissed.
I turned to her, “I’ve never played the game before, I need to see how the weapons work.” I insisted.
Obviously there was no recoil, but there was an electric-blasting noise the echoed out when I fired. The spread was reasonable and more realistic than most video games, but after about a hundred feet the 10 lights that erupted from my barrel fizzled out of existence. The lights on my gun were then muted, so I cocked it again and it lit back up. Alright, mild spread, 100 feet range, cock to reload, that was all good enough for me.
Eve beside me curled her hair tentacles a little forward so they were pointing out around her, and the ends transformed to have little white orbs that glowed just slightly; she moved them around this way and that, as though she was trying to point them at something—probably her extra sense radar or something.
I had to say it was funny seeing Eve hold a gun; with all her godly powers I guess I just figured she would never even need one, but here she was wielding it like a pro—all for the sake of some game.
Eve pointed forward, “That way, closest team, maybe a thousand feet out.”
My eyes grew wide, “Holy shit, how big is the arena?”
“Very big. We should be able to hunt down the teams one by one rather easily.” She confirmed.
For the battle-royale match, we didn’t need to worry about holding back to protect our base, so we set to venture out. We formed up as planned, with me and Lobae in front, Vinnago and Eve in the middle, with Zyno and Yun holding the rear. We travelled through the strange landscape, finding no real pattern to the geometric shapes that created so many branching paths. There were some ramps that led into half buildings that were all open so there was no full cover, but plenty of variations for elevation. It seemed like it was straight-up just one big maze, and it made me wonder how players would ever find the other teams without the help of some alien radar sense helping them.
“They’re up around the corner heading our way.” Eve confirmed.
Lobae held up a fist and directed us to split up on either side of the hallway behind cover. We all took our positions and waited to spring the trap. Only a few moments later a group of some touristy looking aliens in suits with yellow glowing highlights rounded the corner, taken completely by surprise by our ambush. I popped up and blasted one right away and so did Lobae, then Vinnago shot the last one before the three remaining players made a hasty retreat. But Eve was already on the move, and she put her assault rifle in one hand and pulled out her pistol in the other—fucking
duel-wielding
. She used her Predazoan speed to fly right passed us, and from around the corner we all heard a quick burst of laser gun sound effects, then everything was quiet.
Eve rounded the corner wearing the cheesiest grin on her face, “Enemy neutralized.” She said cockily, skipping over to give me a quick kiss.
I just shook my head, “So yeah, there’s no way we can lose with you on our team.”
I walked over to our paralyzed opponents, seeing they were all some kind of blue crustation aliens—probably a family playing together. I leaned down to the one I’d shot; he looked a little older, a male—maybe the dad of the group. He smiled at me, “Damn, already eliminated in the first round.”
I shrugged, “Don’t feel bad, we’ve had some training.”
The crustation alien chuckled, but paralyzed as he was he couldn’t move, “Wish they had more amateur leagues; us regular folk don’t stand a chance against the pros.”
I leaned down and patted his shoulder companionably, “Enjoy the rest of your vacation.”
“You as well—good luck in the tournament.”
Our team returned to our tactical formation as Eve led us towards the next closest team. I shouldn’t have been surprised our first encounter was so easy; chances were a huge majority of the people playing in the tournament were just families and friends trying to have fun. Honestly we’d probably sweep through until we got bracketed with the more serious players, and from there we’d just keep relying on Eve’s abilities to help us win it all.
From the middle Eve directed me and Lobae, winding through the dark winding maze. The laser-tag I played back home was always just in cheesy warehouse buildings with glow-in-the-dark paint splashed all over, while this was all so legit and detailed, a mix of a real battlefield with some cyberpunk fantasy thrown in. I was all excited as we stalked down the halls feeling like some kind of action star.
“You’re absolutely adorable you know.” Eve said from behind me.
I rolled my eyes, “Come on, you don’t have to make it so obvious you’re always reading my mundane thoughts.”
Eve trilled a quiet giggle, “I
love
your mundane thoughts—I love your enthusiasm. You’re so cute it’s delicious.”
“Flirt
later
, focus on the game now!” Lobae hissed, getting all stern and tactical. Either she had a fiercely competitive side to her too, or this was how she’d be on an actual mission—probably both if she was treating the game like a real battle.
We found a great spot to post up near the next team that was travelling our way. There was one of those open buildings nearby, so Zyno and Yun went up top to stage and snipe, while the rest of us ducked behind cover on either side of the street. We didn’t have to wait long for the next team to show up, this one more of a mix of different aliens, their team lights all purple. They were being cautious as they stalked forward in their own formation with the person in the rear walking almost backwards while they protected their back. We waited for them to get right in the middle of our killing zone, then all unleashed our attacks at once. Zyno and Yun sniped the players at the end, while the rest of us picked off the middle of the group. In just a few seconds, the enemy team was all downed.
“Ah shit, taken out like nothing.” One of our opponents groaned.
“How embarrassing.” Another added.
This just seemed like a group of friends all teamed up. I leaned down to the nearest paralyzed alien, “Hey, are you guys on a tour that goes through different
Adventure
stations?”
“Oh yeah, those are the only kind I’ll ever sign up for. I went on some leisure trip with my parents when I was a kid, but those get boring after a while; you only can relax for so long until you wanna get out and do something.” He confirmed.
“There’s more than just
Adventure
stations on our tour, there’s
Epic
and
Fantasy
stations too, those all have way more activities like this.” A female in their group added.
“Damn.” I stood back up, “We’re on some company trip and all we’ve been on is the relaxing stations so far; this is my first time on an
Adventure
station.” I admitted.
The alien below me chuckled, “And now you got the action itch, that right?”
I sighed, “You could say that.”
“Well, now you know what to sign on for next time.” The female offered cheerfully.
We left our paralyzed opponents to search for more prey, and this team was rather close and moving fast through the maze.
“They must’ve heard our last firefight.” Vinnago reasoned after Eve relayed the info.
“Should we find a good spot to hold out?” Zyno asked.
Eve held up her hand as her tentacles rose more in the air—sensing the enemies’ movements, “There’s a great spot we could ambush them just around the corner, but we’ll need to lead them that way.” She turned to the group, “Anyone want to be the bait?”
I held my hand up immediately, “Dude, me! I wanna see what it feels like to get paralyzed.”
Eve rolled her eyes, “Darling, you
really
like this game.”
The rest of my team set up around the corner in what was like a cul-de-sac dead-end of cover, meanwhile I was poked out around a wall looking like I was watching the other direction. When the enemy team rounded the corner, I turned to face them as though surprised and was impressed I was fast enough to blast one of the enemies to the ground before I was tagged and paralyzed in return. I fell to the ground softly as my suit slowly hardened around me, completely locking me in a rather comfortable position. I really couldn’t move anything—my limbs or my neck, only my exposed face was still free. It honestly wasn’t that unpleasant, almost like being held down by a weighted blanket.
It was the orange team we were facing now, and I saw they took time to revive their teammate before making their way towards me. This group of aliens was diverse as well, looking like a collection of friends too.
“He was facing the other way, the rest of them must be up ahead.” The one in front confirmed, then they formed up and began walking forward—crossing by the opening to the dead-end.
My teammates all jumped out of their cover and blasted them all away before they could even properly turn to face them. Once our opponents were all dispatched, Eve came skipping over towards me.
“And here we are again, with me protecting my darling Adam.” Eve said as though pained greatly.
I rolled my eyes, “No need to be dramatic about it—”
“Taken before his time!” She nearly wailed, holding the back of her hand to her forehead like some distressed southern belle, “I don’t know how I’ll ever go on without him!”
I wanted to shake my head but couldn’t, “Won’t you just revive me so I can kiss you already?”
Eve stuck her tongue out at me, then finally leaned down to place a hand on my suit. The dulled blue lights started slowly brightening until after some 30 seconds there was a chiming sound and the lights flashed twice, then I was freed up again. I popped back up and pulled Eve into a quick kiss, “You’re the adorable one, you know that?”
She rolled her eyes, “Oh you…”
“Holy shit, we got beaten out by a bunch of lovesick newlyweds.” One of the orange team aliens complained.
Eve stomped over and leaned down to flick the man’s nose lightly, “I’ll have you know we actually
are
newlyweds—got the Glorva Corp honeymoon treatment and everything.”
“Omigosh that’s
sooo
cute! Congratulations!” A girl on their team nearly sang.
Eve brightened right up, “Thank you, it’s been wonderful.”
We put some distance between us and the downed orange team and huddled up for a quick strategy meeting.
“Eve, can you sense how many teams are left?” Lobae asked.
Eve’s tentacles waved around her head a little, “Just two other teams now, and it feels like they’re right next to each other, so they’re probably engaged in combat as we speak.”
“Do we wait until one’s left and take out the survivor?” Zyno reasoned.
Yun smirked, “Where’s the fun in that?”
I nodded, “Yeah, we know where they are, we can probably split up and take them both out from behind easy.”
We made our way to the other teams and when we were close enough to the action we split apart and started flanking around the other side. From what Eve could tell the two teams were locked up in some alleyway, so we could travel around the alley beside it easily and pop right out behind them. My little squad was Eve and Zyno following along in a tight triangle.
“You think they’ll accuse us of cheating if we do
too
well?” I asked Zyno.
Zyno shrugged, “There’s certain restrictions on cybernetics, but it never said anything about biological advantages. You know there’s plenty of other races in the universe who have natural echolocation or infrared vision and stuff like that.”
My eyebrows shot up, “Oh shit, you think we’ll end up facing people like that?”
Zyno nodded, “With some 30,000 participants it’s highly probable.”
Eve waved it off, “Then I’ll just disrupt or confound their sonar, easy breezy.”
I smiled at her, “Is there anything you
can’t
do?”
She smiled brightly, “Can’t stop loving you,
baby
~”
We stopped right at the edge of the alleyway where it opened, and Eve held up her tentacles once more, “Seems like two are down, one person is crouched to heal them both at the same time—didn’t know you could do that. The other three are engaged and on the left side of the alleyway hugging the wall.”
I looked to Zyno, “Me and Eve will take out the three by the wall, you snipe the reviving guy and anyone who gets up.”
“Got it.” He nodded.
I turned to Eve, “Ready sweet-thing?”
Eve smiled holding up her assault rifle and pistol together, “Ready darling.”
We rounded the corner and I blasted the enemy closest to us easily at the same time Eve got both her targets at once—prefect aim and reflexes giving her an edge beyond superhuman. Zyno locked in on his guy and zapped him quick before he had a chance to finish reviving his teammates. Once we saw our opponents were down we pulled back immediately so we wouldn’t get hit by any stray lasers from the remaining team. We only had to wait another minute until all the laser sounds stopped and suddenly a chiming alarm sounded around the arena as the red lights turned white and became much brighter.
“The battle-royale is finished; the blue team, American Automations, is the victor!” The overhead announcer declared.
And just like that we won our first match in the Assault Team Sim-War tournament, and thanks to Eve’s outrageous abilities, it was honestly pretty easy.

Volume 3: Gamma-12, Chapter 3.33