The Great Ming in the Box-Chapter 76: How Embarrassing
Stretching exercises… 1, 2, 3, 4… 2, 2, 3, 4…
Today, the children began to keep up with the motions on the screen.
Swinging their arms, swinging their legs, their little faces flushed red.
Mr. Wang watched the children doing calisthenics from the side. For some reason, he felt compelled to join. He thought: My body has always been weak. First, I haven’t had a proper meal in years, and second, it’s from studying hard since childhood without properly exercising my limbs. Lack of physical activity has left me without the strength to even bind a chicken.
Now that there’s good food, I should exercise too.
Why not… dance along with the kids?
His feet quietly shuffled, positioning himself behind the children. That way, he wouldn’t have to fear being seen and embarrassed by them. He started swinging his arms too. Shaking his hands, shaking his feet, taking deep breaths diligently. Singing and jumping like the kids won’t make me grow old…
The sound of the broadcast calisthenics was deafeningly loud, radiating from the watchtower throughout Gaojia Village. Villagers gradually got up, and some spontaneously began following the exercises. Since it was started by the Deity, it must be divine gymnastics. Following along couldn’t be bad.
Seeing this scene, Li Daoxuan recalled his own school days. Wait… thinking of school days seemed to remind him of something else…
Nutritious breakfast: a bottle of milk for each child.
This was extremely important! The average height of the entire Chinese nation depended on this inconspicuous bottle of milk each day.
Wait!
Most people of our dynasty are lactose intolerant. Drinking milk easily causes diarrhea. For someone with poor physical constitution, one bout of diarrhea might risk his life. If modern people are like this, let alone these people from the late Ming Dynasty, who’ve never drunk milk before.
Li Daoxuan walked to the cabinet, found a bag of goat milk powder, and checked the production date. Good, not expired yet.
He mixed a large cup for himself, added two spoonfuls of sugar, then scooped a tiny spoonful from his big cup into a mineral water bottle lid. He slowly placed it in front of Gao Yiye: “Gao Yiye, this is goat milk. Call Thirty-Two to arrange it. Distribute it for everyone to drink. One bamboo tube per person…”
Not long after, an amusing scene unfolded below the watchtower.
Over a hundred people of Gaojia Village, holding various bottles and jars, formed a long queue to get milk. It looked remarkably similar to the scenes in our country during the early reforms, when people holding milk tickets queued outside the supply and marketing cooperatives to buy milk.
Thirty-Two’s family servant was responsible for distributing the milk. Holding a bamboo tube, he dipped it into the “big milk basin” – the mineral water bottle lid – scooped out a tube full, and poured it into the pot held out by Gao San Niang.
Gao San Niang picked up the pot, took a sip, and immediately narrowed her eyes with a look of utter delight: “Ah… Goat milk… I’ve heard of this since I was little, but never tasted it. This is the first time I’ve ever had something so good.”
Thirty-Two scolded her laughingly: “Get your milk and move aside! Don’t block the people behind you.”
Gao San Niang: “That last bamboo tube was for me! I need another one for my son too. Come on, give me one more tube.”
“Your son only counts as half a person. Half a tube.”
“That won’t do! Young Lady Yiye just said, the Deity’s order is one tube per person. My son, though young, still counts as one person. You can’t reduce it by half.”
Thirty-Two laughed heartily: “Well, you, Gao San Niang! You can’t even read one character, yet you’ve learned to find loopholes in words! Fine, here’s another one for you. Next…”
Joyful sounds echoed beneath the watchtower.
By the time everyone had their milk, the two managers, Gao Yiye and Thirty-Two, were tired.
Gao Yiye remained standing, unmoving.
Thirty-Two, however, sat down on the steps below the watchtower and scooped out a bamboo tube of milk for himself. Gulping down half the tube, he chuckled happily: “Truly the goat milk of the immortal realm! The goaty smell is much milder than the goat milk from our mortal world. And it’s sweetened too! My, what a wonderful thing… If this were presented as tribute to His Majesty, I bet he wouldn’t even want to drink deer’s milk anymore… Hehe… How did I, Thirty-Two, deserve this? Now I eat better than the Emperor himself! Ha ha ha ha…”
Li Daoxuan watched with amusement. He reached over, grabbed a small handful of goat milk powder, and placed it in front of Thirty-Two.
The sudden appearance of a little white mound startled Thirty-Two. But he quickly understood: “Ah! The Deity rewards us with flour again!”
“It’s not flour,” Gao Yiye spoke up. “The Deity says this thing is called milk powder. Put it in water, add a little sugar, stir it, and it becomes the goat milk you just drank.”
“What?!” Thirty-Two was shocked. “There exists such a convenient magical item?!”
Gao Yiye: “The Deity scolds you for your ignorance. Milk powder was actually invented by the Mongolians as early as the Yuan Dynasty. You, Third Lady, boast of having seen much, yet you didn’t even know this?”
Thirty-Two hurriedly made a respectful salute: “My meager knowledge is like fireflies daring to match the radiance of the bright moon compared to the great wisdom of the Deity!”
Gao Yiye: “The Deity says you are entrusted with this milk powder. From now on, mix it into goat milk every morning and distribute one bamboo tube to every person in the village.”
Thirty-Two: “I obey!”
After accepting, Thirty-Two’s face showed a hint of distress. “Er… Young Lady Yiye, there’s another matter… I wish to to the Deity.”
Gao Yiye laughed: “That little thought of yours? The Deity saw through it long ago. Are you going to say your tasks are too many for one person to handle?”
Thirty-Two nodded vigorously: “The Deity truly knows all! This lowly one’s little worry…”
Gao Yiye: “The Deity said, as the population of Gaojia Village grows and the tasks multiply, it’s inevitable you can’t manage alone. He authorizes you to use the surplus flour, milk powder, oil, salt, sugar, and silver coins—after distribution to the villagers—to flexibly hire some helpers.”
Thirty-Two was overjoyed: “That is… most excellent!”
Having worked in the official circles, he knew very well: the Deity allowing him to hire helpers effectively meant he was permitted to form “his own yamen.” And he would be the highest official in this “yamen,” just like the county magistrate.
Thirty-Two slapped his thigh in ecstatic glee: “Wahaha! I’m going to hire people! I’ve already thought about who to hire first!”
Curiously, Gao Yiye asked: “This next question isn’t from the Deity, it’s from me. What sort of person are you planning to hire first? Why are you laughing so triumphantly?”
Thirty-Two: “I’m going to hire a third lady.”
Gao Yiye: “Pfft!”
Li Daoxuan: “Pfft!”
Ignoring Gao Yiye’s bewildered expression, Thirty-Two slammed the table and roared with laughter: “Yes! I’m going to hire a third lady first! Ha ha ha ha! Make him do all the tedious tasks! The slightest dissatisfaction I feel with how he handles things, boom, I kick him between the legs! Ha ha ha ha… Ha ha ha ha…”
Gao Yiye: “…”
Li Daoxuan: “…”
People!
How do humans always end up becoming what they despised?
Li Daoxuan suddenly remembered what he said to Cai Xinzi when commissioning the Hakka roundhouse: “Right now, I’m the client!”
Ah ah ah!
Thud! He collapsed in front of his computer, rolling frantically on the floor. Chaotically rolling, tumbling, bouncing. How humiliating! How utterly humiliating…
Chapter 76: How Embarrassing
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