The Last Place Hero's Return-Chapter 31: Busy Dealing With The Professors (2)

Chapter 31: Busy Dealing With The Professors (2)
The faculty-exclusive cafeteria was typically reserved for professors and their assistants—a peaceful haven where quiet meals were shared over pleasant conversations. Yet, right now, the air was thick with tension, charged enough to feel like a war was about to break out.
What the hell is happening right now?
I thought as I glanced between the two professors, who were locked in a fierce standoff. I was utterly confused by how things had escalated so quickly.
They stared each other down, neither willing to budge, locked in a silent tug-of-war over me.
“Dale will be my assistant,” Professor Bastion said.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve been responsible for Dale since his first year. It’s only natural that he comes under my wing,” Professor Kane replied.
Excuse me, but I don’t recall agreeing to be anyone’s assistant,
I internally shouted at them.
How did a bottom-ranked cadet like me, who was scraping by year after year, suddenly end up in this bizarre situation, fiercely pursued by two highly respected professors? It was not like I had done anything that extraordinary.
So, I decided to think this through, step by step, starting with Professor Bastion. All I had done was help him secure some research funding, solve a few problems even senior researchers struggled with, fetch rare materials for his experiments, and clean out a lab that looked more like a garbage dump.
Wait, hold on. That’s a lot. Alright, fine. It kind of makes sense with Professor Bastion,
I thought.
After all, because of an incident two years ago, Professor Bastion had been branded the “Disciple Slayer” and practically exiled from academic life at the academy. For two years, he hadn’t been allowed to teach cadets or conduct private research. This had probably been an immense loss for him. So, it was likely inevitable that someone like me suddenly entering his life would draw his attention.
Professor Kane was a different story. He was the one who had been dragging me through the mud for the last two years, helping me catch up, pushing me forward, putting up with more than I deserved. He probably didn’t even want to see me as his student, let alone his assistant.
I racked my brain over what could have changed his mind. Suddenly, an image flashed through my mind: me handing him that bottle of wine and subtly hinting at some information about Bianca. “This fucking...”
All I wanted was to repay a little kindness from my past life. I didn’t expect it to spiral into this. Right now, both of them stood on either side of me. It looked like a scene straight out of some cheap romantic comedy from the Republic: two rival heroines fighting over an indecisive male lead. Except in this case, the “heroines” were middle-aged professors, and I was the poor bastard stuck in the middle.
Professor Bastion looked at me and said in a voice that was calm but firm, “Dale, what’s your opinion?”
“Surely, you’re not seriously thinking of working under that lunatic, are you?” Professor Kane cut in sharply.
With a sigh, I pressed my fingers to my aching temple and bit my lip in frustration. Both Professor Bastion and Professor Kane were vital to the war against the Demon Cult in the future.
Professor Bastion wasn’t just the creator of the Soul Stigmata Amplifier Potion; he was also the leading expert in developing stigmata-related magical items. Professor Kane, on the other hand, was a battle-hardened hero with excellent leadership skills. There was no way I could choose between them right now. So, for the sake of peace, I said, “How about we go inside and talk things over during lunch?”
They replied immediately.
“Lunch?
Tch
. I’ve got no intention of sharing a table with him.”
“Likewise.”
I looked at both of them, “So, you’re just going to keep standing out here in front of the entrance and blocking everyone else?”
That gave them pause. They both fell silent, eyes darting to the people passing by. Thankfully, neither of them was so far gone that they had completely lost their sense of dignity. With reluctant expressions and mutual scowls, they walked into the dining hall.
Once we placed our orders and sat down at a table, an awkward silence settled over us like a heavy blanket. I decided to speak first. “Let me make one thing clear. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but I respect both of you equally as my professors.”
Professor Kane scoffed. “Respect? From the guy who barges into my office just to lie around? That’s rich.”
“That’s... fair,” I replied.
“Whatever. I couldn’t care less if you respect me or not.” Professor Kane shot Professor Bastion with a hostile glare and continued, “I just hope you stay the hell away from that man.”
“I should be the one saying that. Dale, you’re not compatible with someone so barbaric and ignorant,” Professor Bastion replied.
The tension exploded again, like a powder keg about to blow.
“What did you just say?”
“Did I stutter?”
“You son of a—!”
“Enough.” My voice dropped, cold and low. “You’re both old enough to know better. What are you doing, acting like a couple of brats?”
It was a harsh way to talk to professors, no doubt, but after everything I had witnessed, I couldn’t help it. Thankfully, they had enough self-awareness left to recognize how childish they had been.
“
Tch
.”
“
Ahem
. You’re right. Sorry.”
They didn’t comment further on my tone and just fell into another round of uncomfortable silence. Then, a calm voice broke through the tension.
“Oh? I’ve never seen the two of you together before.”
A man with warm, dark brown hair and a gentle expression approached our table. His youthful looks could have easily gotten him mistaken for a cadet, but he was, in fact, Professor Morpheus, someone I had met during the “Mental Training” class.
His gaze fell on me. A look of interest appeared on his face, and he smiled brightly. “
Ah
, and the cadet from that class is here too, I see.”
I rose from my seat and gave a respectful nod. “I was just having a meal while discussing something with both professors.”
“I see. Well then, if it’s not too much trouble, mind if I join you?” Before I could even answer, he casually slipped into the seat between Professor Bastion and Professor Kane. “I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you.”
“To me, sir?” I asked.
“Yes. I was just curious how you were able to break through my illusion spell so easily.” Professor Morpheus spoke with a calm smile, but the sharp glint in his eyes told a different story; he was scrutinizing me closely, as if trying to see through to my very core.
I gave a casual shrug. “Well, I assumed you were holding back. You didn’t cast it at full power, right?”
His gaze narrowed, suspicion flickering in his eyes. “
Hmm
. Even so, it’s not a spell you can shrug off that easily. Especially not someone like you, Dale, who possesses such a minuscule amount of mana.”
A bead of cold sweat formed at the back of my neck. If I wasn’t careful, the truth behind the Primordial Flame could leak out. Just as I was scrambling internally for a way to steer the conversation, two voices came to my rescue.
“Did no one tell you Dale’s currently in the middle of a meeting with us?”
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but interrogating him like he’s some kind of criminal isn’t exactly appropriate.”
Professor Kane and Professor Bastion glared daggers at Professor Morpheus.
Professor Morpheus gave a sheepish smile and reluctantly pulled his gaze away from me. “
Ahaha!
No offense intended. I wasn’t trying to reprimand him.”
He gave an exaggerated shrug, continuing smoothly, “Still, I’m curious, what’s this meeting about?”
“That’s not something you need to concern yourself with,” Professor Kane replied curtly.
“Oh, come now. Don’t be like that. I even helped with your Mental Training class, remember?”
“
Hmph
.” Professor Kane fell silent, visibly weighing his options.
Despite both of them holding the same title, Professor Morpheus was fairly junior in rank to Professor Kane. Professor Kane could have easily snapped back, telling the magic professor not to act like he was owed something just for helping with a single class. However, Professor Kane chose a different route, clicking his tongue lightly before saying, “We were discussing whether Dale will become my assistant or Professor Bastion’s.”
“Oh? This is turning out to be a much more interesting conversation than I expected.” Professor Morpheus smirked slightly as he looked at me, caught between the two professors. “So, Dale, which of the two are you leaning toward?”
“Neither, actually.”
“
Hmm
. You heard him,” Professor Morpheus said.
“That’s only because we just brought it up. There’s still almost two years until graduation, plenty of time to decide.”
No, dude. I don’t need time. I’m not planning to choose either of you,
I replied internally.
Professor Morpheus turned his cheerful smile back on me. “
Hahaha
! A cadet so sought after by two of the academy’s most notorious hardasses. I can’t help but find myself intrigued. Of course, I’ve always been a bit interested in him.”
Oh, come on. Please stop, all of you. As if Professor Kane and Professor Bastion aren’t enough, now even Professor Morpheus wants to recruit me? Why am I being flooded with assistant offers in this life when I didn’t even get one in my last?
I wondered, frustrated.
The other two professors immediately turned to Professor Morpheus.
“Professor Morpheus.”
“Did you not hear what we just said?”
“
Haha
, I’m joking, I’m joking. How could I possibly compete with two professors who’ve already laid claim to him?” Professor Morpheus replied.
Faced with the looming threat of the two senior professors who had already reserved me, Professor Morpheus quickly raised the white flag. I was thankful he at least knew when to back off. But it made sense. After all, both Professor Kane and Professor Bastion had been professors for nearly ten years. In contrast, Professor Morpheus hadn’t even reached his third year in the role; he didn’t have the seniority to challenge them.
“Besides, I’ve got my hands full organizing the upcoming Sealing Festival. I barely have time to breathe, let alone scout assistants,” Professor Morpheus explained further.
“
Ah
, that’s right. You’re in charge of this year’s festival, aren’t you?”
“Yes. From vendor permit approvals to scheduling performances.
Ugh
, it’s a nightmare.” Professor Morpheus shook his head and sighed.
“This is exactly the kind of opportunity where a young professor like you can prove his worth. Didn’t you volunteer to take the lead on it in the first place?” Professor Kane said.
“I had no idea it would be this much work.” With another tired sigh, Professor Morpheus managed a faint smile. “Still, I’m doing my best to prepare everything. I really hope it turns out to be an event that both professors and cadets can enjoy.”
“
Tch
. It’s the same thing every year. What’s there to enjoy?”
He puffed out his chest, looking proud. “
Haha
, true, but I’ve arranged some surprise events this time around. It’ll be a lot more exciting than usual. It’s going to be a festival no one will forget, mark my words.”
Professor Kane and Professor Bastion both allowed a small smile to tug at their lips, charmed, if only a little, by the junior professor’s enthusiasm.
“
Haha!
The energy of youth, huh?” Professor Bastion commented.
“Well, I’ll be looking forward to it.” Professor Kane followed suit.
“In that case, I’ll take my leave so I don’t intrude on your meeting any further.” With a polite bow, Professor Morpheus rose from his seat and walked away.
The two professors then turned their heads to continue their earlier discussion.
“Now then, Dale, where were we—
huh
?”
“Wait. Where the hell did he go?”
In the time it took for Professor Morpheus to leave, the table had somehow become emptier. Only the two professors remained, staring at the now-vacant seat where I had been.