The Last Place Hero's Return-Chapter 48: Interlude 2 – The Republic’s Spicy Taste

Chapter 48: Interlude 2 – The Republic’s Spicy Taste
The Practical Combat Training class, which had brought no shortage of shock and horror, finally came to an end.
I tried to sneak out. “Well then, I’ll be going now.”
However, someone grabbed the back of my neck. “Stop right there.”
I turned my head and saw Iris beaming at me with a bright smile.
“Where do you think you’re going, Mr. Dale?” she said.
“
Uh!
Urgent business,” I replied.
“I told you clearly that you had to stay after class today, didn’t I?”
Feeling a chill run down my spine from the intensity of her gaze, I glanced over at Camilla in a silent plea for help. However, she proved to be of no help, instead saying, “
Ahem!
Milady, I... I’m not feeling well today, so I think I’ll head in early.”
“Oh no, really? That’s unfortunate. Get some rest then,” Iris replied.
“I-I’ll see you tomorrow morning!” Camilla said as she turned away.
“W-wait a second!” I called out.
Without a shred of hesitation, Camilla turned on her heel and sprinted away toward her dormitory.
Damn it!
I cursed inside.
My heart trembled with betrayal, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. Iris approached me with that ever-smiling expression as I braced myself for what was surely going to be hours of nagging. A soft touch wrapped around my hand, accompanied by the sweet scent of peach blossoms.
She said, “Why don’t we go eat together?”
It surprised me. “
Huh
?”
“What do you mean ‘
huh’
? Don’t you remember? We agreed to eat together every Monday,” she explained.
“No, yeah, I remember that.”
Given the earlier situation with Professor Baldwin, I was expecting a much different conversation.
As if she had read my thoughts, Iris said, “What happened with Professor Baldwin wasn’t your choice, right? You were forced into it under the pretense of an investigation.”
“Yeah. That’s true.”
“Then that doesn’t even qualify as a kiss. It was basically forced mouth-to-mouth, like emergency CPR. Don’t you think so?”
“Y-yeah. Of course.”
Iris gently traced her fingers along my lips, her breathing slightly ragged. “Exactly. You didn’t kiss someone. You just got bitten by a horny female mutt, no, wait, a spider in heat, maybe? Whatever it was, it was just bad luck. So don’t let it bother you, okay?”
A part of me wanted to say that calling a professor a spider in heat might be pushing it a bit, but for now, nodding obediently seemed like the best course of action to calm her down. So, I replied, “Yes, ma’am.”
Iris smiled contentedly. “
Fufu
. Good.”
She tugged my hand as she walked ahead. “Let’s head to the campus store. A good meal will help you forget those unpleasant memories.”
“The campus store? Why the sudden change?”
Iris had personal chefs cooking all her meals, three times a day, at that. So why the convenience store food now?
“I’m craving something you made,” she said.
That could only mean one thing. “Ah! You wanted ramen?”
“Ahem! N-not exactly!”
“You’re the one who said it was junk food and bad for your health,” I added.
Her face turned red as she smacked me lightly on the back. “S-shut up!”
I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. Then I said with a nod, “Alright. Let’s stop by the store and grab some ingredients.”
Iris beamed with joy and nodded energetically. “Yay!”
So, we headed toward the campus store. Despite the academy’s prestigious reputation, the store itself wasn’t particularly large, though not many cadets used it, anyway. As most of them preferred the cafeteria, the store only stocked essentials and had a modest setup.
When we arrived at the store, Iris was amazed. “This is the campus store?”
“First time here?” I asked.
“Yes. I never really had a reason to come before.”
“Well, yeah.”
With personal chefs cooking gourmet meals for her, what reason did she have to come to a place whose main selling point was cheap prices?
She looked around wide-eyed at the shelves lined with goods. “Wow, there’s so much I’ve never seen before.”
The store wasn’t huge, but since cadets from all three nations—the Empire, the Holy Empire, and the Republic—lived here, the stock was pretty diverse and abundant. By just looking at the products, one could spot the differences in the cultures of the three nations.
The Empire’s section was full of meats and baked goods, whereas the Holy Empire had vegetables and healthy foods. The Republic, on the other hand, showcased tech prowess with instant meals and meal kits galore.
When Iris, who had been eagerly scanning the store, found the ramen section that covered an entire wall, she practically shouted in shock, “Dale! Come here! T-there’s a whole wall of ramen! Are... are all of these really ramen?”
“Yeah. Tons of different types, huh,” I replied.
“Unbelievable!”
“
Haha
. Honestly, though, they mostly taste the same,” I added. Some slight differences did exist between brands, but in the end, ramen was ramen.
She pointed to a bright red package with a bold character, “辛,” on it. “Oh! That’s the kind you made for me before!”
“That one’s probably the best-selling and most popular brand,” I explained.
“Really? What does that character mean? It doesn’t look like any language from the continent that I know of.”
“It’s a character from an old language used by the Republic.”
“Really? I studied a bit of the Republic language before, but I’ve never seen that one.”
“Well, it’s kind of complicated to explain. It’s sort of an ancient language that the Republic used a long, long time ago. You could call it an archaic language.” Truthfully, I didn’t know the full details either.
“As in... even before the Republic came over from the other world?” she asked.
“Yeah. That’s what I learned, anyway. It’s like the Empire’s and Holy Empire’s myth-era languages, relics of ancient times.”
“Ah, so it’s like how the current language retains bits and pieces of those old tongues.”
“Exactly,” I replied. Such wit was expected of our Saintess, who was as sharp as ever.
“Then what does that character mean?” Iris asked.
“It means ‘spicy.’”
Iris nodded as she recalled the taste of the ramen Dale had cooked for her. “That makes sense. The ramen you made was a bit spicy.”
The reason she had become so fond of ramen in the first place was that bold, punchy flavor that was rarely found in Holy Empire cuisine.
“Since we’re already here, why not pick a different ramen to try this time?” I said.
“Won’t that make things harder for you, Dale?”
“Making ramen’s pretty much the same across the board. Don’t worry.”
“
Hmm
, Is that so?” Iris examined the shelf with the intensity of an artist choosing paints for a masterpiece. She held up a packet of ramen in a sleek black wrapper, labeled Buldak[1]. “How about this one?”
The moment I saw it, my expression stiffened. “
Uh!
That one’s a bit...”
“Why? Is something wrong with it?”
“It’s a little different from the one you had before.”
“Different how?”
“It doesn’t have soup. You mix the sauce into the noodles instead.”
Her eyes sparkled with curiosity. “
Oooh!
I want to try it! Soup-less ramen sounds interesting!”
I was at a loss for words.
She looked at me. “Dale?”
“I mean, I get where you’re coming from, but... maybe try a different brand? There are other soup-less ones too,” I replied.
“
Huh
? Why not this one?”
“Well, this brand is really spicy. It might be too much for you.”
Even among Republic citizens, who were famous for their love of heat, this ramen was notorious. Plenty avoided it altogether.
Iris put on a knowing smile and said, “Ah, I get it. It’s one of those, huh?”
“One of what?”
“I heard about this from Camilla. Whenever Republic folks meet someone from another nation, they just have to say things like ‘What, this is spicy to you?’ or ‘Pfft, you can’t handle this?’ Super dramatic about it. She called it... Oh, right. Spice Pride.”
Shen then let out a little scoff, giving me an incredulous look. “And here I thought you were different, Dale. But you’re a Republic man through and through. I’ll have you know I can handle my spice! I didn’t even flinch when I had the ramen you made before!”
She had a point. That previous one had a glaring red label boldly declaring spicy in an old Republic language.
With a proud little puff of her chest, Iris shook her head. “Honestly, after eating that, I wondered if Republic folks were just being dramatic. Maybe you’re all just exaggerating this whole spicy thing.”
“Oh really!” I replied.
So that’s how it is.
I thought.
She continued, “Besides, you said this one doesn’t have soup, right? Isn’t that where most of the heat is? Without it, the ramen should be easier to handle.”
It did make sense, but in theory, that is.
“Anyway, I want to try the one that says ‘Buldak.’ Is that okay?” Iris insisted on it.
I gave her a bright smile and nodded. “Sure. If that’s what you really want, I’ll make it for you.”
***
After grabbing the ramen and a few drinks from the campus store, Iris and I headed to my dorm room. Unlike her suite, which was fully equipped with a kitchen and all the cooking gear one could dream of, my dorm was pretty bare. But I did have a portable burner and a pot, so cooking ramen wasn’t an issue.
I placed the steaming-hot buldak ramen in front of her, its sauce glistening a deep, sinister red. “Here you go. All done.”
“Hehe. Alright, time to give it a taste!” Iris picked up her chopsticks and took a generous bite of the noodles. “Oh? This is delicious!”
She chewed happily, eyes wide with delight. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the chaos that would inevitably follow.
“It’s not as spicy as I thought—” She froze mid-sentence. “
Ugh
...
ahgh
!”
Suddenly, she shuddered from top to bottom, like a capybara caught in a snare. Then, stamping her feet on the floor as the fire hit full force, she screamed, “I-It’s spicy! What the hell is this?!”
Watching her flail and tremble, tears in her eyes, I felt an odd shiver of satisfaction run down my spine. I had heard about this kind of thing before, where some Republic folks got a kick out of watching people from the Empire or Holy Empire try buldak ramen for the first time. People called them sadists or spice perverts.
It was now that I realized what it really meant.
Just minutes ago, Iris had mocked Republic spice lovers, claiming it was all exaggerated nonsense. And here she was, wailing and sniffling, overwhelmed by the very spice she had downplayed. It was glorious.
I looked at her and said, “Told you it was spicy, didn’t I?”
“Do Republic people not understand moderation?! This goes way beyond spicy!” Tears streaming, Iris looked around frantically for something, anything, to calm the burn.
I handed her a steaming cup of tea. “Here. Ginger tea, brewed strong. It’s good for cutting the spice.”
“
Ughh!
Th-thanks, Dale!” Iris grabbed the cup and chugged it down in desperation. The next second, the Saintess’s scream echoed through the room. “
Kyaaaaaaaaaa
!”
1. Buldak refers to Fire Chicken. Basically, it’s the fire chicken ramen that went viral on social media ☜