The Overlord of Puluo-Chapter 51: Madam, Let's Go Buy Groceries

「 Remember my love, remember my heart,Remember I'm waiting for you every day.I'm waiting, waiting for you to come back,Don't you forget me, don't leave me alone~Don't you forget me, don't leave me alone~~ 」
The gramophone played out a cheerful tune.
Amid the lively song, Li Banfeng quietly made his way toward the door while thinking,
I'd better leave.
He had experienced how vicious and fierce the old clock was and he knew that he had almost died just now. Yet, it seemed now that the gramophone was even more dangerous than that old pendulum clock.
Just as Li Banfeng reached the door, he heard a different song being played out by the gramophone. It went from a lovesick maiden sending her sweetheart off to a wandering songstress.
「 Oh my love, oh my love, where are you bound?Before you leave, take the trash on out.Our little house is small, no place to spare,Oh my love, the trash has nowhere to go~~ 」
She can even change the lyrics,
Li Banfeng thought.
Should I even have the fucking mood to care about the lyrics right now?
Li Banfeng shoved the door open and was about to leave when a wall of steam surged and blocked his way.
「Oh my love, our trash really has nowhere to go!」
"Uh… right… I'll take it out later," he mumbled. When he moved to leave again, the steam flared hotter, wrapping tighter around him as the gramophone sang again.
「Oh my love, our trash really has nowhere to go!」
Each note sounded colder and gloomier, while the steam seethed hotter and hotter.
Li Banfeng's entire back was covered in sweat, and a chill crept down his spine. He suspected that if he had not cleared the trash away, the gramophone would have burnt him to death with the steam.
Under its threat, Li Banfeng turned back and, by the gramophone's light, began searching the room for trash.
In the corner of the room, he spotted torn rags that Chu Yunlong had left behind. When he picked them up, they felt sticky, with bits of his vomit still stuck to the fabric.
He stuffed the rags into the cloth sack and thought,
The gramophone used these rags to clean up my vomit? She likes the house to be clean! Perhaps this gramophone is a dwelling spirit?
This Pocket Dwelling is my home, and I'm already attuned to it. If I call out the gramophone's name, wouldn't that make her my dwelling spirit?
At that thought, Li Banfeng fixed his gaze on the gramophone, feeling his attunement with the Pocket Dwelling. When his breathing matched the steady thrum of his heartbeat, he called out, "Gramo–[1]"
Wait! What is her name? It can't be gramophone. It's like how Luo Yuni's name is not tabletop pendulum clock.
However, the gramophone had already heard him and answered at once,
「Oh my love, if you want your humble wife to sing, clear away the trash, and I'll sing for you~~」
The steam drifted lazily toward the broken pendulum clock. To the gramophone, it was nothing more than trash.
Not daring to treat the gramophone's request lightly, Li Banfeng hurried to gather the broken clock face, scattered gears, shattered pendulum, and the heap of wood chips and springs into a cloth sack. It was only after he had cleaned up everything that he dared to step out of the Pocket Dwelling.
As soon as he was outside, he retrieved the key and heaved a heavy sigh of relief. Inwardly, he muttered,
No wonder Feng's General Store sold me the gramophone at such a low price and tossed in freebies as well. It turned out to be a masterless dwelling spirit.
A masterless dwelling spirit was equivalent to a fiendish spirit. Furthermore, this fiendish spirit was way more powerful than Luo Yuni. It was a spirit on a level that was beyond Li Banfeng's comprehension.
Li Banfeng continued muttering inwardly,
I can't call her by her name! What should I do? No, I need to see Shopkeeper Feng and make him explain everything!
When Li Banfeng was about to find a spot to dump the garbage, he felt eyes staring at him from somewhere around him. He sensed danger, and this time he could feel it clearly.
I must get moving! This place is not safe anymore!
he thought.
Li Banfeng clenched his teeth and stepped forward, but a man suddenly emerged in the main hall's doorway, blocking his way out.
The man wore a white shirt and a gray vest. His chin was tucked in, his eyes rolled upward, and he grinned crookedly at Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng recognized him. He was Luo Yuni's lover, the same man who had killed her.
Weren't you hanging from the willow tree? How did you come down? he thought.
Suddenly, a man and a woman emerged beside him, and behind them came more figures, with more figures swaying back and forth behind them.
As it turned out, the man was not the only one who had come down from the willow tree branches.
A cold shiver ran up his spine. When Li Banfeng turned to the window, he saw several men and women peering in. Many ghosts drifted round and round the house in the courtyard while some phased halfway through the walls.
All the ghosts have come down from the willow trees. What is going on?
Li Banfeng wondered. After a moment of thought, he realized the reason behind it.
These ghosts had served the dwelling spirit Luo Yuni and would do whatever she commanded. Now that she was gone, they were out of control. Clearly, they were interested in Li Banfeng. In the past, they had only killed to feed Luo Yuni, but now, they wanted to get a taste of meat as well.
A female ghost was the first to rush toward Li Banfeng's side. As she sprang at him, she stretched her tongue out at Li Banfeng's ear. She seemed to really like the taste of Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng crouched down and dodged. At the same time, another man lunged at him and tried to stab him with a saber.
Where did that saber come from? Shit! The short saber!
Li Banfeng had left the blood-drinking short blade outside the Pocket Dwelling.
Was it possible for a ghost to wield the knife? Of course! It was with this short saber that Luo Yuni had taken her revenge.
The man swung his short knife again and again at Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng slashed out with his sickle, but the blade only cut through empty shadows. He couldn't hit these ghosts, but these ghosts could hurt him! Even without a weapon, a ghost managed to grab him, yanking hard enough to tear a strip of cloth from his clothes.
What should I do now?
i Banfeng thought as he backed away, dodging frantically. But before long, there was nowhere left to retreat. From the walls, legions of lost souls poured out and closed in around him.
Li Banfeng wondered if he should retreat into the Pocket Dwelling. Ghosts swarmed around him, so there was nowhere safe to throw the key. If those vengeful spirits took the key away, it would be a disaster.
In the end, Li Banfeng had no choice but to force his way out. He clenched his teeth, braced himself, and charged forward. Yet the moment he took his first step, the ghosts inside the house suddenly vanished.
All gone? Did my aura scare them off? Yeah, right.
Li Banfeng knew that danger was still lurking close as he could still sense it. He charged at the door with all his strength, only to find a group of grinning ghosts blocking his path.
The fiendish spirits flickered in and out of sight, choosing when to appear and when to vanish. They were toying with Li Banfeng, treating him like prey trapped with no way to escape.
The male ghost swung the short saber at Li Banfeng again. In a panic, Li Banfeng used the cloth sack to block and the saber slashed through the sack, causing the trash inside to scatter all over the ground.
At that moment, the ghosts froze and backed away at once. They had caught sight of the broken pendulum, which was considered Luo Yuni's relic.
They are backing off! They are afraid!
Li Banfeng's eyes lit up. He seized the moment, grabbed the pendulum, and charged to break through the encirclement.
However, they stopped retreating almost at once, standing still as their eyes locked onto him in eerie silence.
Are they frozen in fear? Li Banfeng thought. He stepped forward and kicked the blade-wielding ghost.
Did I really kick him?
Li Banfeng wondered. He felt the impact and knew he had kicked the male ghost, but it didn't feel real. It felt like his foot had sunk into a pile of watery mud.
It felt exactly like striking watery mud. Then dread gripped him as he discovered he couldn't yank his right leg loose!
The ghost had taken the hit on purpose so that he could trap Li Banfeng.
Li Banfeng really didn't expect that these ghosts, existences that could vanish and reappear at will and flicking between real and unreal in an instant, could be so vicious.
The male ghost had coiled himself around Li Banfeng's foot. With the saber in hand, he lifted it high and was about to chop Li Banfeng's foot off.
In that instant, Li Banfeng lifted the pendulum, and a golden light flickered over the ghost's face. The saber froze mid-swing as the male ghost fixed his eyes on the pendulum in obsession.
Li Banfeng pulled with all his strength, but his right leg remained stuck fast. Around him, the other spirits crept closer. He was out of options.
Li Banfeng swiftly turned the key. For now, he had no choice but to retreat into the Pocket Dwelling.
As he stepped over the threshold of the door, he braced himself against the doorframe and finally tore the male ghost off his right leg. He was just about to shut the door when he realized, with a jolt, that the key was still in his hand.
He knew the rule was to never bring the key into the Pocket Dwelling. He knew that it would be better if the fiendish ghost took it than if he brought it into the Pocket Dwelling. If he had done so, he would have been trapped inside the Pocket Dwelling forever.
And so, the first thing he did was hurl the key outside. But when he tried to close the door, it was already too late. The fiendish ghosts slammed the door and forced their way into the room.
A chilling gale howled, and the spirits flooded inside like a crashing tide.
By the time the Pocket Dwelling's door finally closed, hundreds of restless souls had already forced their way inside, filling every corner.
A host of pale faces lifted toward him, hollow eyes burning with an obsessive gaze at the pendulum in his hand.
Seeing this, Li Banfeng thought,
I should never have brought this thing inside.
It was true that the pendulum could hold the ghosts back for a while. Yet they were not afraid of it. They were obsessed with it.
Pressed on all sides by the ghosts, Li Banfeng held the pendulum tight and racked his mind for a solution.
A solution? Is there even a solution?
he thought.
Pop… crackle… pop… CLANG!
The gramophone kept spinning, but this time it played no song. Instead, it erupted with the thunder of gongs and drums.
She can perform opera
[2]
too?
Li Banfeng thought.
Of course the gramophone could play opera. In Puluo Province, it was considered stylish to use it to bring opera to life. Among the records Shopkeeper Feng had given him were two featuring celebrated opera singers.
As the rhythm of gongs and drums rose, the shrill, high-pitched voice of a female opera character[3] called out, "
Husband~~~ did you go to the market to buy groceriesssssssssssssss, ay-yaaa!
"
"Yes, I bought groceries…"
Does this look like I bought groceries?
Li Banfeng thought. He had no idea how to answer in the operatic style, but he figured it was safest to just agree with whatever the gramophone said.
"
Hooooooooooo-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~
" the gramophone sang again. "The dishes look good, but alas, they aren't fresh~~"
The note stretched on endlessly, and in that hazy moment, steam billowed through the Pocket Dwelling.
The spirits grew restless. They were starting to feel afraid. Some of them tried to flee toward the door, but it was already too late. The steam burst forth in a boiling rush as the gramophone erupted in a clash of gongs and drums.
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Over a hundred ghosts were swept up as if caught in a net, shrieking as they were drawn straight into the gramophone's horn. Only Li Banfeng remained, safe and silent beside it.
She ate them? She devoured all the ghosts! So that's what she meant by grocery shopping?
Clang! Clang! Clang!
The high-pitched voice rang out again, "
Husbaaaand~~~ your tender love overflows, filling my heart with joy. As the old saying goes, diligence brings prosperity, extravagance courts ruin. You and I share a bond as steady as a flowing stream. In the days ahead, we must not be wasteful~~~ ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh—burp, rumble-rumble~
"
With a hiss of steam, the gramophone let out a burp of satisfaction.
Li Banfeng shuffled toward the door and recited casually, "Since my lady has eaten her fill, it is time for her to rest."
"Grateful am I for your care, husband. I truly am tired now!"
When the voice faded away, the fire guttered out, the steam drifted off, and the gramophone sank into silence.
Li Banfeng hurried out of the Pocket Dwelling, snatched up the key, and sank down in the doorway, gasping for breath. The pendulum was still clenched in his hand. At first, he thought of throwing it away, but then decided it might still be of use.
He found a clean cloth sack and tucked the pendulum inside. As he put it away, he paused in thought, feeling as though he had forgotten something.
Back inside the Pocket Dwelling, the short saber that loved to drink blood at midnight lay forgotten on the floor. The gramophone had swallowed all the ghosts, but not the saber.
Screech~
The petals of the bronze lotus opened one by one. With a sudden whirlwind, the short saber was pulled into its core.
1. When Li Banfeng called out to the gramophone, he actually only uttered the first character, (chang, "sing"), from the word (gramophone, literally "singing machine"). In other words, instead of calling it "gramophone," what came out of his mouth was simply "sing." ☜
2. Chinese opera is a traditional form of theater that combines singing, dialogue, acting, martial arts, acrobatics, and dance. It usually features high-pitched vocals accompanied by gongs, drums, and wooden clappers, as well as instruments like the jinghu (a high-pitched, two-stringed fiddle) and the suona (a piercing double-reed horn). Performers wear elaborate costumes and makeup, and the shows often include stylized movements and acrobatic fight scenes. ☜
3. The raw actually mentions this as (Dan Jue), which can be translated as dan-role. The
dan
means female role in opera and
jue
means role or character. ☜