Walking Disasters and Me-Making Proper Amends, Discoveries – Ch 35
I don't know how long I spend watching the beautiful sight of my sister's soul slowly healing, especially because keeping track of time when I'm in deep like this is already nearly impossible. Regardless, my attention flits around to all of the smaller, somewhat superficial looking damage that is little by little being repaired and a bubbling sense of euphoria emits from my very being. The space around the both of us seems to shimmer with warm yellows and golds every time the happiness washes over me, or its own rainbow colored spectacle when the giddiness becomes nearly too much for me. The whole scene is dazzling before my eyes and creates a kind of feed back loop, and soon enough it's nothing but burning yellows and kaleidoscope colors dancing in our shared soul space.
After it looks like there are only large, deep cervices left on her shell, and sadly there appear to be quite a few of those, I pull my attention back to fully regard her form. It seems to be a bit brighter now, and I can easily see where the Qi is ambiently pouring into her too once I stop feeding her directly for a moment. The anxiety begins to well up in my chest, even though I know I shouldn't get my hopes up after one healing session, but the thought that
maybe
she can hear me. Maybe she can give me another sign, if that even
was
what she did earlier. However, the thought of not receiving an answer floods me as I stay there, locked by the fear of the unknown, the imagined despair of failure or lack of progress, beholding her soul in all of its damaged glory.
As the anxiousness of the situation comes to a head, with me trying my best to force myself to be brave and do this for her even knowing I may not get an answer this time, I hear a familiar and somehow clear, high pitched voice echo from behind me. 'Aims, Akiko is here. Its just a few minutes until sunrise hun, you've been meditating all night.'
Shocked, I turn my attention to see Ios, but instead of her full colored, 4-armed form that she uses with the projection, all I can make out is a silvery silhouette of her humanoid shape, with large, blank empty voids where her green eyes should be. The images of countless horror movies from back home flash into my head as I unconsciously think back in stunned fright.
What the fuck?? Ios? Is that you?
It's hard to read emotions from this bipedal ball of light, sans eyes, but I
think
she also gets a bit shell-shocked at my response, as it takes her a few moments to respond to it. When she does, her voice at least confirms that she is just as surprised as I was upon meeting her here, "Holy shit Amelia, can you see me in your soul space? You... You're
not
supposed to be able to do that yet. Not until you build up your soul to at least the 3rd Rank, or that is when you're supposed to start perceiving my form in here from our calculations...
Fuck
, no wonder you said you had such an extreme personality issue when you were in the tribulation, your soul is
NOT
supposed to be this strong yet!
Shit, okay. I'll need to dig around the system for some things and we need to tell Akiko about this too. Ideally, for the next few times you meditate you should let me watch and see
exactly
what you're working with, not just for soul but for spiritual and body too. It's something only Sandra, Ilya, or I can do with you since we are all
technically
soul bound to each other, but it still requires permission from the host so to speak. God... you're going to
rock this world honey
." Her form hovers over to where I'm... floating? I can't really see myself or get a good mental image of what exactly I look like when I'm here. Regardless, she comes over and I realize that her silhouette is much, much taller and more bulky than I had originally thought. Either she is putting on a show, or she was a good clip away from me when I saw her the first time.
She continues on as I'm sizing her up with a bit more trepidation at the ever increasing size of her black hole eye sockets, "We can figure that out later though, Akiko wants to say goodbye before she heads out and we need to talk to her now regardless. Come on and wake up." And with that, she reaches out and I can feel her make contact with my mind. She begins pulling both of us softly back away from Sandra, which does send a pang of loss and instant longing to my psyche, and then eventually out of the soul space entirely as I rouse to wakefulness still fully swaddled in the comfy embrace of the blanket cocoon~.
I quickly look toward Ios' box, and am relieved that she is back to her technicolor, normal green eyed form. "Shit Ios, your eyes are fucking scary in that space. Like, Japanese horror movie ghost type shit, just all black void and no iris or anything! I thought you were trying to give me a heart attack or something!" I raise my hand over my ample breast, over my heart, just for added flair. Not because I was also checking to make sure it was still beating at a normal rhythm, no siree.
Ios does actually look sheepish for once, raising one of the top arms to scratch the back of her golden locks with an apologetic look to her face, "Sorry sweetheart, I wasn't expecting you to see me so soon and I always forget to fix the eyes when I make my soul avatar. Its always such a hassle to get it to look right, so I usually don't bother with it hehe~ I'll make sure to fix it next time."
I breathe out a sigh of relief at that, at least I wont be surprised by some eldritch nightmare while I fix up my model. Wait... Isn't she still basically that anyway? Another familiar, soft and motherly voice chimes inside the space which makes me remember the main reason Ios drug me out of myself.
"I see you both have been having fun without me while I have been called away on work matters, hmm~" Akiko's floaty voice reaches me, making me blush instantly as I turn to regard her wearing her enchanted black battle kimono once again, her white flowing hair layered behind her. Damn it, its always just instant stimulation when I see or hear this woman! Oh shit, right, I need to actually apologize to her like I accidentally did to Jun Li! I try to sit up to be more presentable, but sadly the tangle of blankets somehow tightens further on me as my attempts to break free increase. After a few more tries at freedom, I am pinned to the bed by my own folly, the blush now reaching classic Aims levels rapidly.
Akiko and Ios share a look before erupting in laughter, the grace period earned by the previous days events apparently long having ended. Either that, or I used the well up faster than I thought possible, which is honestly the more likely outcome now that I think about it. With an embarrassed and annoyed huff, I do my best to ignore their delight at my accidental self bondage and muster up as much dignity as I can in this situation, my husky voice coming out in a low, serious tone, "This isn't funny, you're both being
so
mean right now!"
Sadly, my super composed and serious tone comes out as more of a whimper, and I can feel the frown that is definitely, 100% not a cute pout, forming on my face as my cheeks redden further. Thankfully, Akiko is kind enough to break free of her rapture after a few seconds more and moves to the side of the bed to inspect my situation closer. She leans down, looking over how my arms and hands are wrapped up above my head, somehow, while my legs have tied the blanket in a knot around my ankles.
The sudden vulnerability of my position dawns on me, and the heat slowly starts to morph from shame to arousal, especially when I feel strands of her snow white hair slip past her shoulders and brush against my face. The sensation tickles my skin, but it also makes me focus on how we are nearly pressed chest to chest as it only happens when she is leaned over me completely to inspect my trapped arms. I look away, turning my face on its side to try my best to calm down and not get so turned on in this somehow arousing situation, before I feel some of the tension slip away from my hands and notice that I can move them again.
I blink a few times, still turned away from admiring Akiko's leaned over form which is no doubt showing off her dress straining cleavage as I test my hands and arms a few times. I mutter out a quiet, "Thank you..." before I feel one of her tails rub the top of my head gently and her presence moves back to standing next to Ios' box. I quickly undo the rest of my constraints and then swing my legs over the side of the bed, still looking down from both embarrassment and a lingering lust.
"Well, that went about par for the course I guess. Ios, I need like a fabric controlling skill or something, cause I like being cocooned but not so much permanently." I hear her giggle and chirp out "You got it, boss~!" I sigh out once just to try and get my headspace back to somewhat normal before I finally look up and regard Akiko properly and try once more to give me apology to her.
"Akiko, I just wanted you to know that I don't think you did anything wrong at all yesterday. I
really
like how gentle and caring you are, even when you're teasing me or being... intense like that. It was my fault for succumbing to the emotions of it without us properly discussing anything and making the decision to deepen our situation all on my own. I don't think you're holding anything against me, but I still want to say that I'm sorry for how I acted, for constantly throwing you mixed signals even when you've already said you're interested in me. And I am too. With you, I mean. Not myself, I'm not that much of a narcissist!" I laugh at my own joke for a second before wrapping up, the heat radiating off of my cheeks.
"Again, you didn't do anything wrong in my mind so I hope I can make you feel less guilty about what happened, if you were still feeling like how Ios said you were right afterwards. I... care about you a lot, and I don't want you to feel like you have to treat me differently than you have been. There's been some developments that Ios and I want to go over with you, but two things I want to put out there first. The biggest one is I am actively seeing Sandra heal, and Ios and I think she may have tried to communicate briefly with me last night. The other is that some of what Ios said to me before... well, before I blew up on her and gave you and your girls a free ticket to the drama club, makes sense."
My lips feel drier than a sandy desert as I lick them, my mind getting more and more flushed with schoolgirl like embarrassment from the question I'm about to ask next, "If... if you would want to, after you get done cleaning up the Shadow Branch and taking care of whatever else needs doing, maybe we could sit down and talk about things between us again. I... I want to do this right, if we do decide to further our relationship, and I want to know what that would look like regarding not just you, but Samantha, Jun Li, and Gerra too since you're all together. Last thing I want to be is a homewrecker!
But... Ios is right, I think. Sandra wouldn't want me to be miserable and alone, and I can almost guarantee she would be beyond upset with me if she found out I was using her situation as an excuse to do so. I love her,
more than anything
and as more time goes by without her around, the more that feeling grows. But that shouldn't mean I can't be happy in the mean time while I fix her either... Uh... Sorry, that was kind of a rant there at the end~! I hope that all makes sense at least!" I laugh nervously as I close my eyes, copying Ios' gesture from earlier, just with less arms, as I rub the back of my crimson hair while I finish up my rambling.
I don't hear anything from either woman while I'm trying to play off the seriousness of the admission to Akiko, which only makes the cold drop of anxiousness pool in my stomach even more. Finally, I open my eyes to see that Akiko is sitting in front of me, having pulled one of the chairs from the table arrangement and is sitting down with all of her azure tipped tails wagging like a storm behind her. Her floofy white vulpine ears are pointed directly at me as her amethyst gaze bores into my soul, a wide and happy grin on her face.
Relieved that I didn't seem to cross a line at least, I'm about to breathe out a sigh of relief when I hear her overjoyed yet still gentle tone grace my hearing once more, "Oh my dear, sweet Amelia~ Truthfully, the last day's encounter had been weighing heavily on me, despite spirit Ios' best attempts to console me. However, hearing your forgiveness truly was the balm that my troubled mind needed, my dear~. I think it would be for the best indeed if we had a frank conversation about what we want and what it would mean going forward after I return from my sojourn dealing with unpleasant matters.
Also, do not feel as if the blame solely lands upon your shoulders for doing something very,
very
few trained and powerful humans can do: resist a kitsune's advances. Truth be told, you have remarkable will, Amelia. Even when you were mortal, you did not fall into insanity even after my shameful display at the cave and trust me, most mortal's minds would have broken quite thoroughly at that encounter. You have constantly showed a strong sense of control over your emotions and feelings, even if it may feel like you are constantly on the verge of falling to them. It is not your fault, at least not entirely, as by design and evolution, kitsune like Jun Li and I are the embodiment of seduction and lust, and we feed on that energy as well as energy directly from the soul.
I have been trying my utmost to restrain myself since our first meeting, but the sword is double edged sometimes. When a kitsune gets aroused by a person, we can become incredibly... 'intense' is a good word that you used for it. In the past, it would not be uncommon to hear of a charming male or female successfully wooing a kitsune, only to have them go missing for years and years at a time to show up either with a large family of human and fox human offspring or found deceased, drained of all of their yin, yang, or soul energy."
Probably seeing the quick flash of horror on my face as I scoot slightly back onto the bed, a bit of a hurt expression comes across her features as she gently leans back in the chair and tries to explain further, "I know that is yet another unpleasant discovery since your time landing here in Mara has begun, but I promise you now that Jun Li or I will never put you in such a position. We both see love and sex as something to cherish and enjoy, not feed upon like ravenous beasts, and I have always strived to make sure that I never take more than is needed or freely given by my partners. And believe me, Samantha and Gerra can be far more of a tease than you, and yet they have happily been with Jun Li and I for many decades now, safe, sound and quite fulfilled~" She ends with a hand hidden giggle.
I feel bad at my involuntary reaction to that information, and I can feel deep to my core that she is telling the truth about all of it. I look over to Ios briefly just to get her read on it, to which she just smiles and nods toward Akiko, like she's telling me to get over it and tell her I'm still okay with it all. Following her unspoken advice, I turn to once more take in the full form of the gorgeous, pale skinned fox woman in front of me. All of her beauty and charm, her eloquent method of talking and refined mannerisms, the feeling of total power she lets off when she gets going... It only makes sense that she has
some
kind of flaw right? And honestly, being constantly keyed up and ready to get wet sounds like a fair trade off. The soul sucking part is a little off key... but something about it is also kind of... hot...
I again blush at my own chaotic thoughts as I smile gently to the fox woman sitting placidly across from me before sharing my feelings on her honest admissions, "Thank you for telling me all of that Akiko, and... I'm sorry for how I initially reacted to some of it. A lot to throw at a girl all at once!" A small laugh comes from both of us as I continue, "I'll have to be much more careful about my teasing then, until we really sit down and hash out where we stand once you get back! I don't think... I don't think any of what you said truly scared me away from trying to be something with you.
It was a bit frightening when it first hit, but like you said that isn't you. You've been trying your best to keep yourself back, and you have three other women who love you knowing all of that about you. I'd be an idiot to be prejudice about something you already have under control... Most of the time, at least." I end with a little wink to her, keeping the final thought,
Although, maybe you losing control again would be fun too~,
to myself for now, hehe~!... Sigh, this is getting out of hand already again...
Her tails once more start wagging up a storm as a more than pleased expression dawns across her alluring face as she leans over to give me a gentle, soft hug which I return. "That is fantastic to hear my dear~! I was worried that perhaps some of these revelations would dishearten you from your previously stated pursuit of myself, and possibly the girls, but it seems I am yet again at fault for underestimating your kind and thoughtful nature, sweet Amelia~." She leans back to give me a deep, kind look before turning and plopping back down on her chair before she presses on.
"Now then, you have made progress with Sandra's healing? Already?" She crosses her arms in front of her as she gains a thoughtful expression, waiting for me to clarify my findings after the Qi experiment.
I nod to her once, still enjoying the fresh clean scent that lingers after she left our embrace before replying, "I have. I noticed some kind of... rainbow colored connection from my soul in my flow model to a point in distant space while I was meditating. After I followed the bridge for a bit, I passed through a strange liquidy wall that felt alien yet at the same time extremely similar. At the time, I got the feeling that it was supposed to keep people out, but I didn't have a problem crossing it so I just kept pushing on.
After some more time, I found another golden ball of light, like my own soul, and instantly knew it was Sandra. I had seen her briefly before, when I first got this battle dress," I say while motioning to the black, teal, and gold attire, "but back then she was basically right where my dantian is now, so I figured she must have gotten jostled around when I made the network. Any who, I spoke to her a bit, this was back after Ios and I had just gotten into it by the way, and vented some of what's been going on to her in my mind. At the end of it, after I was telling her how... Ugh this feels so embarrassing to say again, especially to you Akiko..." I sigh, the obvious delight at getting juicy gossip plastered on the fox's face, while Ios has a knowing smirk isn't helping matters!
"I told her... how I felt about you, and how awful it was making me feel being torn between my decision to wait for her and my deepening feelings for you." The blush is in full tilt as I try to rally and move on to the actual important piece of information, "At the end of it, I admitted the whole reason I was so stringent about waiting for her was because I was scared that she would feel abandoned when she woke up. Especially since I know what I know about us now... Right as I was about to wallow in my feels, a foreign sense of acceptance washed over me. Like, it wasn't
me
feeling it, but it was very close to the sensation, and also very weak.
Ios and I talked after that and she thinks that was Sandra trying to send a message to me or something, telling me that its okay to... Well, you know...
*Ahem*
Anyway, I was meditating again between then and when you got here, and was purposefully using that rainbow connection to feed Qi directly into Sandy. And guys!! I saw the cracks filling with Qi and then conforming to her... signature or something? The small, filled in cracks were slowly taking on the same hue as her golden shell! Its working!"
I look at both women with unrestrained joy in my body, no doubt my face brimming with happiness too. Ios is the first to pop up with her cheery, high-pitched tone, "That's wonderful news hun! I'm so happy for you and her both! Now that we know what to do, we can wrap that into your daily training, and maybe test out ways to increase the efficiency of it too!"
Akiko also chimes in with her happy cadence, tails yet again wagging like nobody's business, "Indeed spirit Ios! Amelia, that is a wonderous revelation, I am beyond overjoyed for you both! And... Thank you as always for being such a sweet, caring creature Amelia. I know this entire situation weighs heavily upon you, but I promise we shall converse soon about all of it and I will take your word with the utmost seriousness." She reaches out and grabs both of my hands, her happy smile still lit across her cheeks. I smile back and give her a firm nod, the feeling of it all finally coming together after a fucking chaotic 3 or 4 days making butterflies float in my stomach.
Those poor, fluffy feeling butterflies get swatted out of the proverbial sky as Ios decides that we've all had more than enough happy feels when she blurts out, "Oh right! Akiko, Aims' soul is
definitely
a powerful reincarnator's, and it is beyond crazy. She was probably an 8th or 9th realm being before if I had to guess~."
Making Proper Amends, Discoveries – Ch 35
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