Walking Disasters and Me-Frank Conversations – Ch 40

Walking Disasters and Me-Frank Conversations – Ch 40

Ios takes a moment to get into a spot where both Jun Li and I can easily view her and each other before she begins again, "Right, so my best guess right now is that somehow the system got influenced by your soul which caused a non-evolvable skill to become evolvable. Honestly, that shouldn't be possible as far as I know, but Ilya would be the one to really have a concrete answer on that or not. Regardless, I have to assume it happened because you forced the connection to deepen during your tribulation, coupled with the fact that your soul is that of a powerful reincarnator.
Now, I know that is quite unsettling news - and you seem to agree going by how hard your gripping poor Jun Li's hand again - but honestly Aims this might not be so bad! We can use Inspect on them so you can see for yourself, but those new skills are pretty great! Well, two of them are, the retention one is kind of a bust, but it would be helpful in the early stages of cultivation." Ios finishes happily after trying her best to cheer me up. Which slightly works, but sadly not very much.
"Ios, I'm sure the skills are great and all but that's not what I'm freaking out about. How many more things like this are going to pop up? Am I going to be the next thing that my soul decides to fuck with, the last message I'll ever see saying 'Sorry kid, the Empress demands to be returned' or some bull shit?
That's
the part that's making me grip Jun Li in a vice right now, not the cool new skills that suddenly popped into existence!" I answer back in a slight panic, before trying my best to not death grip Jun Li's poor hand as I give her a sheepish look. "Also, sorry about that Jun Li."
Ios nods once, her previous cheerful demeanor falling away as she looks back at me. "I don't think that's going to happen Aims, but I know that isn't much comfort. Truthfully, given how powerful your soul is and the fact that it is already manipulating a construct as powerful and advanced as the system..." She bites her lip, as if deciding whether or not to finish her thought which only makes the fear rise in me even more. Eventually, she gives me a hard look and then comes to a decision, "With how strong your soul is Aims, the fact that it
hasn't
overwritten you means it likely
won't.
As best as I could glean from the information Akiko gave us, reincarnated souls with your power would have instantly claimed their host again as soon as they were awoken, and yours definitely has been awake for a while now.
I'll be honest honey, I don't know if that is going to last forever, or if you may have to have some kind of identity battle in the future with it, but like I said I don't think that's going to happen. At least not for some time. It's been too cooperative, too accommodating with you to just suddenly change course. This is all supposition mind you, but to me it seems like it is only trying to fast track you back to a certain level of power. What happens when you reach whatever threshold it has for you, I'm not certain." She ends her hypothesis calmly, her gaze never leaving mine as the cursed information leaves her lips.
Before I can respond, Jun Li gives my hand a squeeze which makes me turn in bed to look at her. She gives me a calm smile, one ruby eye still hidden behind her hair, as she offers her advice, "I believe your spirit is correct, Miss Amelia. While I am not as knowledgeable about reincarnators or souls as the Madam, I am at least aware of the subjects. Most cases would be as she described, the original soul regaining primary control of the person once it has become self-aware. I know not how strong your soul is, but from the hints and context you shared I can wager that spirit Ios is most likely right. You should have no fear about losing yourself for now, and that means that we can all devote ourselves to more research in the meantime. As well as adjust your training, now that we know this is going to be a possible issue for you in the future.
There are ways of strengthening one's soul that do not inherently rely on cultivation, and one of them is a technique that solidifies your identity and personality. It is not too difficult to master and is quite effective in life as it aids greatly in reducing the effects of charms or mind control, and either I or the Madam can teach it to you since it is a method crafted by kitsune's." She pauses briefly to lean over and pat the side of my head gently, her lustrous black hair dropping around her face like a waterfall made of night, "I know that you have every right to feel disheartened by recent events and this knowledge but rest assured that you have people around you who will help you overcome this challenge. Feel your emotions, let them wash over and through you. Just don't let them destroy you either, for you have a noble and powerful task ahead of you."
With that, she leans down and gives my prone form a small hug, making me feel her larger body and chest smush down into my own as her earthy scent envelops my brain. I would be quite overjoyed at the attention and feeling of our soft bodies being pressed together if it weren't for all the damn existential crisis filling the air with tension. Although, I will admit that just having her here helping me through this latest round of dreadful revelations has really tapered my usual panicky response. I sigh as I return the hug for a few moments, before I feel her comforting presence pulling away all too soon. She gives me one final pat on the head as she stands back up and regards both Ios and I, "I will be here if you require anything, my dear. The hour is late enough as it is, so you should rest and prepare for the Madam's arrival tomorrow. If all went according to plan, she should return to the estate at midday, or thereabouts, and you have an important conversation with her~." Jun Li says with a wink.
She doesn't flirt very often, so I think this is her attempt to further put me at ease which works incredibly well, but not just because she's being saucy. The care and thoughtfulness she always puts out is the best balm I could have asked for. With a little bit of red coming across my cheeks, I tuck in a bit to the blankets while giving her a reply, "Thanks Jun Li. For yesterday and today and being here with me through that heavy conversation. I really appreciate you. Let's plan to hang out again sometime soon, maybe after I've spent time with some of the other girls first though. Don't want them getting jealous now do we~?" We both laugh at the thought, my face partially hidden by the covers while hers is guarded by a dainty hand, but both of our eyes are closed in mirth. For a moment, all the worries and cares slip away to that peaceful feeling of simply enjoying a moment with someone.
Sadly, as all good things must do, this moment also comes to an end as Jun Li nods before heading to table to collect our errant dishes and then back to the sliding wooden door. She opens it with a tail and then turns back to me, "I think I would be most receptive to that idea, Miss Amelia. However, I do agree that you should spend time with the others first, simply because they are also delights to know and be around. I hope you rest well, and I will be by in the morning with breakfast when you wake up. Good night, Miss Amelia. Spirit Ios." Ios and I both give similar replies back to the coal furred fox as the sliding door once again shuts softly with a slight
click
of the wood settling into its slot.
I breathe out a little breath. Man, Jun Li is just the best. It's actually nearly as hard to not take her up on her offer of dating as it was resisting my feelings for Akiko... I hear Ios' chirpy voice next to me, making me suddenly realize that that wasn't just an inside thought, "Indeed~ She is quite the sweetheart, in a way she reminds me a lot of you. Very straightforward while still being a bit shy, caring and compassionate to an insane degree, and of course sexy as hell~ Hehe~!"
I turn slightly to my torturous benefactor, my eyes leveling her in a furrowed stare as her comment makes me remember another conversation I need to have, "Ios. First, thanks for the compliment, but second, why have you been so keyed up lately? I know you like to mess with me, and it
is
kind of fun usually, don't get me wrong, but you honestly did take it a bit too far with that cheerleader shit. What's going on?"
Her curly blonde hair bounces behind her as she looks to the side briefly, not wanting to make eye contact with me. For the first time since meeting her, and her gaining a full colored form, I see a hint of crimson wash over her sun-tanned, lightly freckled face. With a slight bit of worry and confusion, I follow up and try to get her to open up to me, "Ios, talk to me,
please?
I promise I won't get mad at you or judge you just for explaining yourself, but I need to know what you're trying to do. I don't want to play the guessing game of 'Is Ios actually into me or not'. It's hard enough trying to figure out my feelings about shit like my soul, or relationship to Sandra. I don't want our connection to be strained like that too."
My tone is level and calm and I reach out my hand instinctively to try and comfort her, before realizing she's just a ghost basically. I nearly frown a little at my own dumb action but decide to just follow through and let it hang in offering to her. She finally looks back at me, a bit of concern and trepidation marking her face, before she looks down at the hand and smiles slightly at the gesture. She hovers her hand over mine, finally taking a breath for dramatic effect and giving me my answer as she looks to the floor.
"I just want to say before anything else that I'm sorry for pushing you too far earlier today. I promise I was just trying to mess with you a bit, but seeing your initial reaction kind of... I don't know Amelia, it had more of an impact on me than I thought it would. I know I've teased you a bit in the past," which makes me slightly scoff, which makes her raise her head up to me in a more natural smile, "Okay, fine. I tease you a lot! Like you said, it's fun and usually harmless or an attempt to take your mind off of whatever disaster is currently unfolding for you.
Ever since we talked about getting me a body though, I think I've been getting a bit more... serious about how I'm flirting with you. Especially after you saw my soul avatar, I know that for a fact. I didn't want to say anything and confuse you or make you worried, since I'm basically living in your head for the foreseeable future, but... yeah..." Ios looks back down to the ground as she finally admits what's been driving her so hard these past couple days.
I take a moment to process her words, trying carefully to thread the needle of this suddenly awkward conversation, "Well... Okay, it's not like I don't think you're cute too. But why now? Did the thought of actually having a body like a real girl suddenly make the idea have weight to you or something?"
She turns her head to the side, intently studying the walls architecture before giving me a small nod in affirmation of my guess. Huh. I mean... I guess that makes sense. I was always kind of curious just
how
serious she was being when she was being a flirty tease, especially back in the forest. Maybe she was just messing around at first and then came to internalize that stuff? Oh right, why am I guessing when I can just ask her, silly Aims!
"So... I have a theory of my own this time." She nods once more and turns back to me, the definite blush now cresting across the bridge of her nose and both cheeks which makes me squirm a bit in delight at the cuteness, "Jeeze, I forget that you're some eldritch being sometimes with how cute you are... Oh shit, that was supposed to be an inside thought too. I must be getting tired...
*Ahem*
Anyway! I'm wondering if maybe you started internalizing your flirty antics since we've been here, and that's part of the reason you're suddenly crushing on me legit. Also, is it just the air here on Mara or something?? Why is everyone so horny all the time, including me!" I rub my eyes slightly in frustration before continuing.
"Like, I was thinking about this earlier too when I was in the bathroom after your first little routine. I've never been so turnt up before, and its only been like 4 days or something. Not to mention that I'm falling for Akiko and Jun Li so quick, and now I'm not even opposed to adding you into that mix too!" I groan out, abandoning my hand's war against my eyeballs to instead bury them into one of the pillows nearby.
"Hmm, well for that I think its a mixture of things Aims. Like we've talked about before, you just have a tendency to fall fast and hard for people. Not quite as desperate as it was back on Earth, now that you know your worth more, but still a part of it. The other part is that I think we've been forgetting about
[Otherworldly Beauty].
I don't
think
I'm being affected by it, but I don't doubt that Jun Li and Akiko have been as well as yourself." Ios shoots back, further complicating the plot of this whole mess.
I raise my head up from its pillowy internment, my crimson hair falling over part of my face as I turn to the spirit, "What, so I've still been influencing them? Do they even really feel that way for me then?" I sure as shit hope so, because the more I think about being with Akiko, the righter it feels. And even eventually Jun Li. Seeing my despondent look, Ios lowers herself next to my bedside with a comforting look.
"I wouldn't worry about that sweetheart. Those two are powerful 5th Realm cultivators. While it may be making them hornier, it isn't changing how they view you on a personal level or their feelings for you. That's not how the skill is supposed to work."
I still feel pretty damn conflicted about this whole thing, saying just as much back to her, "Yeah, but we've already seen how the system isn't operating like how we thought it was supposed to right? Sure, the most recent example is the most extreme, but you admitted it too when you were trying to find my manuals. I think something more is going on than either of us realize, Ios." I sigh, once more gently rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes so that I can power through yet another heavy conversation.
She doesn't immediately deny anything, and after I reopen my eyes, I can see a look of contemplation on her face as well. "Well, I can try to put in a clause like we did for Luck. Make it so that passive effect is on a toggle, so to speak. That way you won't have to worry about possibly influencing anyone. Shouldn't take me long now that I know what to do, and I doubt the title is more intricate than Luck was. By the time you wake up it'll probably be ready, or close to it, if that's what you want to do."
I don't even think for a second before saying back, "Yes. Please, do that. While I think it could be fun in certain moments, I want to make sure that what I'm feeling for Akiko and Jun Li, and even you, is genuine and the same for how you all feel about me. Speaking of, what did you think of my theory?"
Ios' bashfulness comes back on display, making my heart do a little flutter as she softly bites her lower lip again while crossing her arms over her more than a handful chest. "I think that you may be right, at least a bit. I'm sure there's also a small part of me that is feeling guilty about even bringing you here and throwing you into this mess that is trying to make amends anyway I can. But I don't want you to think that I'm just confused or something either. I've lived a long ass time Aims, and it's not like beings of my nature are all celibate monks who never get freaky or fall in love. Okay, well, maybe Thu-Thu but he
is
a bit of an oddball... At any rate, I know my feelings are becoming more serious for you.
Sure, maybe its a bit of how our banter is almost always so fun and flirty, and how you are such an amazingly kind and thoughtful mortal that it makes my heart throb. Always looking out for others, holding other people's feelings in such a high regard despite your own situation. Honestly, I'm kind of worried you have a small martyr complex sometimes. But that just makes you even more charming for me. When I think about getting a body, the first thought I have about it is always, 'Thank god, now I can give Amelia a hug and kiss, finally!'." She chuckles a bit before continuing.
"Again, I didn't want to bring this up until later. Especially since we had a bit of a fight the other day, but I promised I would always be honest with you so... Here we are. Maybe I'm not as down bad as Akiko or Jun Li, since I don't have hormones to bounce around in a meat suit, but I can't sit here and say I'm not having growing feelings for you either."
She looks to me with a vulnerable gaze for the first time since we've been around each other like this. Hell, I can't really remember if she even had a vulnerable tone with me before, but something in my mind says she probably has. At any rate, I look over to my mental roommate and take her in. She is obviously attractive as anything, and I would be lying too if I told her I wasn't having some of the same thoughts regarding her lately. Yes, she is a massive troll, but she is always looking out for me and trying her best to help me, even when she messes up sometimes. Honestly, the fact she even
can
mess up as some kind of 5th dimensional being beyond comprehension is kind of comforting. Humanizing, in a way.
I see her start to squirm a little bit, and I realize I've just been leaving her hanging after she spilled her heart out to me. "Ah shit! Sorry Ios, I was just thinking over some of what you said. Wasn't trying to leave you out in the cold like that. Well... first things first, I want to get that title fixed up and then see where I stand with Akiko. I'm tired of leading her on like I have been, and she deserves to be treated candidly. But after that, and we start really training me up montage style maybe we can talk about this... us some more. I for sure want us to always be honest with each other, and I don't want you to feel like you have to hide how you're feeling to me or about me.
Honestly, nothing about this situation is really causing me to back away from the idea. I just want to be sure of my own feelings for you before I commit one way or the other, this is all kind of sudden after all. In the meantime, let's try to tone down the teasing a bit? I'm not saying to stop it, like we've said it is endearing in a way, but the cheerleader thing was a
bit
too far for now." Ios nods her head at the end, seemingly agreeing with my boundaries. Not that I doubted she wouldn't, but even still I feel bad that I had to set them anyway. I don't want her to feel like she's wrong for acting in her nature or on her feelings either, especially if I'm the only one getting hurt or upset by it... God maybe she is right, do I have some kind of martyr thing going on top of all my other problems? Or is that just a continuation of my other issues?
Before I can ponder that any deeper, Ios' high-pitched voice comes back into the room, "Okay hun~ I think that's more than fair. I know I kind of dumped a lot on you but thank you once again for being so kind and considerate~. You should probably get some sleep, its close to midnight now and Jun Li is probably going to stop by around daybreak. Thanks, again honey. And sorry again for going too far." Before she blinks out to let me get some rest, I quickly reassure her again in my growingly sleepy voice.
"Hey, don't worry about it Ios. We talked it out like big girls and it's all water under the bridge, okay? Thanks for respecting my boundaries on it too." I stifle a big yawn, my eyes drooping slightly with fatigue. It has been a long ass day. But a rather enjoyable one, up until the latest existential crisis of course. Honestly, seems like I'm due for at least one per day now. I turn over slightly to look at Ios and give her a tired smile, "Good night Ios. Thanks for your help today with the language lesson."
As I softly close my eyes, I can hear the smile on her voice too as she replies, "Of course darling, get some rest. I'll wake you up from your self-bondage before Jun Li gets here~. Hehe~."
I laugh with her, more at peace with her antics now that we've had a heart to heart, before doing just as she said and wrapping myself up in a comfortable embrace of blankets. Before long, my mind drifts away into the void of unconsciousness.

Frank Conversations – Ch 40