Walking Disasters and Me-Identity and Worth – Ch 47

Walking Disasters and Me-Identity and Worth – Ch 47

My mind is still whirling with the implications of what Ios has shown Akiko and I, and I'm beginning to have less and less gripes about being stuck on the estate for now. If
anyone
else found out about this kind of power scaling, I wouldn't put it past them to nab me or... something worse. No one likes wild, uncontrollable, and powerful variables, right? Also...
"Ios, you cannot just throw a 'teehee~!' out any time you're breaking our minds!" My halfhearted seems to undermine my serious tone, as all Ios does in response is stick her tounge out to the side while she raises up her sunglasses to give me a wink. An aggravated groan and hair tousle later, and Akiko seems to have recovered slightly from her contemplations too.
"Spirit Ios, Amelia, having the ability to acquire Intent's is beyond outrageous and powerful. How long would it take Amelia to even reach this level of advancement for the spear group?" She still looks a little frazzled, but her serious and thoughtful tone and demeanor cuts through the ludicrous and playful chirping of our resident eldritch being.
"Hmm..." Ios ponders with a finger to her chin, "We'll have to see how it plays out now that
[Master Learning]
is on the table, but like I said you should get to Advanced Spears pretty fast Aims, within a week or so of practice. I'm imagining Mastery to take about 6 months to a year depending on how strict we make her training schedule, and how stringent we are with having her just use one weapon class." She turns to face both Akiko and I fully.
"My advice? Get her," she points to me while looking more at Akiko now, "to Advanced on Spears, Blades, Axes, Hand-to-Hand, Blunt, and Exotic melee weapons, and then the same for Bows, Crossbows, and Thrown for ranged weapons. If my calculations are correct, just natural point gain and multipliers from completing those quests will put her physical stats into the 3-4k range. Amelia, you'd be able to outpace any peak 3rd Realm by that point, numbers wise."
This... this is insane. I'm just a baby cultivator!! I've literally only been doing this for less than a week, and now she's saying within what, 8-10 weeks I'll be punching up two Realms? At least? A strange mix of fear and, surprisingly, arousal spike through me at the conclusion and I have to take a second to figure out what the hell I'm feeling. Fear, I for sure understand. If I'm going to be that much of an outlier, there is no way I can ever interact with anyone outside of Akiko or the girls until it becomes plausible for me to actually
be
that strong.
The slowly pooling warmth right above the space between my thighs, however... I think of just being that
powerful
, being able to overpower
anyone
in my bracket and above by a few notches, and that effervescent feeling begins to expand throughout my whole body. I shiver a little at the odd concoction of opposing thoughts, the fear of discovery and the thrill of showing off my yet to be gained strength, until I feel a soft, warm hand rest on top of mine.
I realize I had been crinkling the hem of my robe in my anxious mental ramblings, and I look up to see Akiko giving me a concerned yet calm smile. "Are you well, Amelia? I know this information is quite the revelation. Perhaps we should lie you down while spirit Ios continues her explanations?"
I give her my own warm look as I plop my head gently onto her shoulder, taking in her comforting and grounding scent in deep, centering breaths. "No, I'm okay. Thank you though~" I reply as I lean in to peck her cheek, "I was just... processing the whole idea. I think I am much more on board with staying here until I hit the 4th Realm or something now. If we all agree with your plan, Ios, then I'll have over double the stats of any peak 3rd Realm cultivator here on Mara. As a 1st Realm. I can only see that little tidbit of news being a
disaster
if someone else finds out."
Akiko hums softly at the loving kiss and then nods her head in agreement, "You are quite correct, and I am thankful that you can identify the issue on your own terms, my sweet. There are countless Sects and powers on Mara, and any one of them would stop at nothing to secure you. Whether for your ability to access that fantastical shop, or your ridiculous personal potential, you would be the target of endless attempts at either kidnapping or assassination."
I gulp at her candid, offhand referral to my possible death, the fear beginning to win out of the slight tinge of battle lust, "Well... don't sugar coat it for me Aki, shit. *Sigh* I can't say I didn't have the same thoughts but hearing it from you makes it a bit... scarier." I nuzzle into her soft body a bit more, my arms wrapping around her waist at the admission of slight terror.
I feel a couple tails come over to blanket me in their security as she returns the hug, her soft and matronly voice rings back, "All the more reason for us to ensure you are as strong as you can be then, no~? Not only because you have a dear sister and Intertwined Soul to protect, but for yourself as well. Once you reach a certain level of power, there won't be a person alive on Mara who would dare to challenge you. Even if they did, we will be strong enough to make sure whatever plans and schemes they enact are easily thwarted."
I bite my lip knowing that that may not be entirely true, given what she said happened to the Sect Leader... Well, it does kind of further her point though right? The only way to overcome even the most disastrous scenarios is by having loved ones beside you and getting so fuck off strong that a planet has to hand you an eviction notice. And the first step toward that security is starting these little quests.
I feel some resolve come into suplex the little bundle of fear that has taken root in my chest, finally letting me breathe a bit more steadily. With a nod against the supple skin of my foxy lady, I call out to Ios again, "Akiko's right, and so are you Ios. It's still a bit scary, but I can't do anything about that fear unless I grow stronger and make all those horrible what-ifs into impossibilities." I see the look of deep pride on both of the girl's faces, making me blush slightly and wiggle further into Akiko.
"*Ahem* Alright stop with those looks, you're going to make me melt!" A chorus of laughter comes from all of us, mine a bit more tinged with embarrassment than theirs, but eventually we get back on track, "So, you mentioned that the ranged weapons are going to buff different stats? And why are there only three of them as opposed to all the melee ones?"
Ios nods smartly once, the tinted sunglasses dipping a bit to expose the tops of her eyes with the motion, "Correct~ The ranged quests are word for word regarding rewards for the number of Ability, Shop, and Skill points, but the added stats they provide buff Dexterity, Intelligence, and Wisdom. The reason for that is Dexterity, for obvious reasons, is the base stat for most nimble, hands-on weapons. Intelligence is needed to calculate trajectories, wind speeds, and when you get more advanced gear that can shoot an arrow for miles and miles, the drop of gravity. Wisdom is a bit of an oddball in the lineup, but it looks like the system deems a high WIS responsible for finding gaps in an opponent's armor or finding weak points to exploit in general. Kind of makes sense? Would have thrown that to DEX myself, but Ilya was always a bit of an odd one."
"Huh, that is weird. Almost every game I saw Sandy play would have either Dexterity or Luck be in charge of that. Oh well~! I'll take it, that means that my mental stats won't fall too far behind. Seems like I'll still need to either find ways to raise them or use my spare points to though, considering the lack of quest trees for ranged stuff." I say back thoughtfully.
"Right, that is kind of the downside to the system grouping weapon classes together so broadly. Yes, you'll basically be mastering multiple types of weapons at once, but since there's only so many ways to make a rock, arrow, or bolt go from one place to another, the ranged quests get kinda jilted. There is the Exotic quests for ranged weapons too, but that's more stuff like firearms and sci-fi stuff.
Anyway! That should cover it for your individual crafting and weapon quests, there's a few more broad quests that the system doled out to you too that we should take a look at and then we can get to the fun stuff~! Hehe!" For some reason a chill crawls down my spine at the implication of what this bundle of troll energy has in store for us, but another wall of text appears which stops me from wading into that mental sinkhole:
[Quest Started: Reach Basic Proficiency in Heavy Armor.
Learn the ins and outs of the armor class known as: Heavy Armor.
Reward: 25 Ability Points, 50 Shop Points, 2 Skill Points, 25 points into Constitution.
Rewards will increase as ranks are advanced.]
[Quest Started: Reach Basic Proficiency in Medium Armor.
Learn the ins and outs of the armor class known as: Medium Armor.
Reward: 25 Ability Points, 50 Shop Points, 2 Skill Points, 25 points into Constitution.
Rewards will increase as ranks are advanced.]
[Quest Started: Reach Basic Proficiency in Light Armor.
Learn the ins and outs of the armor class known as: Light Armor.
Reward: 25 Ability Points, 50 Shop Points, 2 Skill Points, 25 points into Constitution.
Rewards will increase as ranks are advanced.]
[Quest Started: Reach Basic Proficiency in Shields.
Learn the ins and outs of the Shield support weapon.
Reward: 25 Ability Points, 50 Shop Points, 2 Skill Points, 25 points into Constitution.
Rewards will increase as ranks are advanced.]
[Quest Started: Become an Apprentice for Three Crafting Professions.
Gain basic knowledge and function of three different crafting professions.
Reward: 200 Ability Points, 300 Shop Points, 10 Skill Points, 75 points into relevant stats to the first three professions to meet the requirements.
Gain the Title: [Multi-Tasker]
Rewards will increase with number of professions added and their ranks advanced.]
[Quest Started: Reach Basic Proficiency in Three Weapon Classes.
Have a basic understanding of form and function of three different weapon classes. Can either be melee or ranged.
Reward: 200 Ability Points, 300 Shop Points, 15 Skill Points, 75 points into relevant stats to the first three professions to meet the requirements.
Gain the Title: [Beginner Weapon Master]
Rewards will increase with number of weapons added and their ranks advanced.]
Damn, the system is even going to give me quests for what kind of protection I wear too... Also, I can only imagine how wild those combined quests are going to get too since the whole plan is to do exactly what they're asking me to do anyway.
I swallow a familiar lump of trepidation which seems to be growing more and more as I ask Ios, "Okay, I know the whole goal is to make me super-duper strong, and I
love
that for me by the way, but isn't this getting a
bit
too much? Like, even
I'm
starting to feel bad about how stacked I'm going to be, and I'm apparently a Berserker!!" I wave my arms a bit frantically at the end, just to really emphasize my worries to my mentors.
Ios and Akiko giggle like schoolgirls instead of reassuring me, the meanies. They do actually do their jobs after a little bit of fun at my expense and fears, Akiko speaking first, "I am all for it my dear, so long as you are safely sequestered here at the estate. Indeed, the whole point is to get 'super-duper strong' as you so
eloquently
put it, hehe~!" I feel her cheek rub the top of my head as she taunts me, making the pout that was forming lose a good chunk of angsty energy behind it.
Ios follows up with Akiko in a one two verbal combo, "Exactly, the whole point of the system is to make you a powerhouse Aims~. I get what you're saying though, it is a bit intimidating knowing you're going to become such a
monster.
This world isn't going to play fair with you Amelia, and the Heavens are quite literally out to get you any chance they can. You're going to need to use every trick and tip to get as strong as you can as fast as you can, while not sacrificing your foundations. These quests are that answer, partially. You'll also have to put in the blood, sweat, and tears for it, even if you won't be putting in quite as much as someone not in your position thanks to your frankly
ridiculous
learning speed."
While I'm mulling over what she's said, Akiko speaks back up too. "Spirit Ios is correct, my dear. Yes, you are going to be a quite frankly
terrifying
low-level cultivator, and if there were no threats about your personal safety from higher powers, I am sure that legendary tales about you would already be leaving bard's lips from taverns and inns across Mara."
I'm still a little conflicted on the sheer scale of power that they're talking about now that I'm staring it down in the face. When it was an abstract 'Oh yeah, get stronger and be a bad ass, let's go!' feeling I loved it, but now? After Ios going over just where my numbers would fall on the ladder of Peak Realm folks? I keep coming back to a feeling of dread and apprehension about it all, and the shitty part is a feeling of... unworthiness about it starts to settle in me. As those gross, sickly green tendrils worm their way through my mind in whispers of inadequacy, I feel a firm finger lift my chin up and raise my eyes to meet those sparkling purple gems that are set onto the perfectly sculpted face of Akiko, my tempestuous thoughts instantly calming down at her gaze.
"Amelia, there is no shame in being powerful. Your fear of the unknown of it, of possibly making yourself a target of attention, is completely justified and understandable, but don't let it dissuade you from your task. Like spirit Ios said, you need to use every ability and power at your fingertips to constantly further yourself, like any other cultivator would on this planet. The only difference between
you
and
them
is that you have
vastly
more powerful cards to play at this game of life. Do not be afraid to use them for fear of other's reactions or cries of injustice. Life is never fair, and if you are not prepared it will gladly rob you of the things which you hold sacred without thought or compassion.
Be brave,
my darling girl. Feel your emotions, but do not let them destroy you."
I sniffle a bit at the saccharine sweet comfort that Akiko seems to have in endless supply, her words flowing through me like numbing honey as I push my forehead against her neck. In a subdued voice, my fears having been partially identified already by these two smart, beautiful women, I decide to shed light on the rest of it, "Thank you, Aki. You are the absolute best, and I would be lost without you and Ios. I think part of what is messing with me about all of this is that it feels way more real now. Like, before we were saying all the same things, but I didn't really have a concept of just what exactly it would look like. I just knew I was going to be strong, which I know I
love
now, but without anything concrete describing the how of it, it was more like... a fantasy? Or a dream maybe. Intangible, for sure. But..." I pause as I think about all of those numbers and what exactly the mean. To me, and to the regular cultivators around here.
"But seeing just how far ahead of everyone I'm going to be scared me. Part of it was like you guys said, I'm afraid to be targeted by some shady fuck or Sect out there, but a part of me..." The cold fingers of doubt and guilt press me further against the lighthouse of safety that is Akiko, as my voice comes out in barely a whisper, "A part of me is starting to say I don't deserve to be that special. Or unique."
Active Effects Gained [Doubt (Self) (Low, Growing)] [Guilt (Low, Growing)]. Use Resolute Mind to suppress effects?
The spike of fear at the sudden prompt doesn't help matters, knowing that I'm indeed in a slightly off kilter place mentally is a double-edged sword. I leave the prompt for now, if it gets worse I'll go ahead and suppress it, but I want to be honest and authentic when I'm alone with these two. Even if it means being a bit messed up mentally for a time.
Speaking of those two, Akiko simply smushes me further against her, our breasts becoming almost painfully compacted against each other as I feel her warm breath on my neck, her velvety cheek against mine. Warm, soft tails and strong arms wrap around me completely, touching every part of my body in their consoling pressure as her nimble fingers rub gentle circles between my suddenly aching shoulder blades.
Her care laden voice flows gently into my ear as she whispers her words of comfort, "Oh precious girl. I am terribly sorry you feel as such, and I can only offer that you are not alone in those thoughts." She pulls us back so that our foreheads are touching, both our eyes open and staring deep into each other, even if mine are slightly watering from the buildup of unshed tears. "Any person with a good heart, a kind soul, burdened with the mantle of responsibility, power, and talent surely feels what you are experiencing now. You may be on the higher end of that self-reflective scale due to your situation, but I tell you now that I have had similar recriminating thoughts in the early days of my journey as well."
I try my best to corral my voice and not let it break too much as I whimper out, "Y-you did? Why?"
She smiles softly as she strokes my cheek with the feathery touch of her fingers, my eyes involuntarily closing at her soft caresses. When she cups my cheek fully again, I flutter my half-lidded eyes back open to see that same caring smile still waiting for me as she says, "When I was young, back when I was still a 3rd Realm cultivator, my bloodline unlocked through a Secret Realm's trial that I barely lived through. I went in with a group of very capable, very talented cultivators from the Village, but I was the only survivor. We weren't particularly close, acquaintances within the Flowing Pen Branch, but the guilt of surviving haunted me for quite some time afterwards. Couple that with this sudden power that I had received by merit of being the last one standing, and my mind whispered terrible thoughts about how it would have suited one of the more skilled members better. How I was going to waste its potential because it wasn't meant for me."
She lets out a gentle breath as she closes her eyes, hopefully not replaying the memory but it's hard to tell. Her body still is radiating comfort and compassion as she looks back to me, the brief sadness having apparently washed over her, "I was a rather middle of the road talent back then, but once I began to attune and master my new bloodline, I was faced with a similar reality that you are now experiencing. I quickly overpassed my peers, and some seniors, by the time I was nearing the 5th Realm Tribulation and drew quite the amount of unwanted attention because of that. Attention I was far from accustomed to at the time. The thing that finally drove those whispers of doubt away from me was the thought that even if I didn't choose to receive this power,
I
still molded it,
I
shaped it, and used its blessings for causes
I
believed in. I made it mine through effort, work, and understanding, and no one could deny me that. Not even myself."
She takes my face firmly in her hands as she gives me a deep, long kiss which makes a low, heavy moan slip past my throat as the tears finally spill out from the corners of my eyes. The sudden whip of arousal snapping across my mind mixes with the freeing feeling of relief as I move into her embrace for a few moments before she backs away and pecks my nose softly. "My dear, it is rare when power is able to be chosen freely and without consequence. More often than not in the world of cultivation, power is sought and used maliciously and thrust upon the unprepared wantonly. I know you did not choose to experience this, and spirit Ios is trying her best to make amends for that, but we will always be by your side to lift you up and ensure you make this power your own and use it for things you care for."
A small sob escapes me as she gets done taking a sledgehammer of emotions to my heart, the wet chokes of breath falling against her collarbone that I'm latched onto like a lamprey. We stay like that for some amount of time, just letting me bask in warm embrace that I've never failed to find with her as my mind clears of its woes. Nearly unnoticed by me, the system effect for Doubt and Guilt disappears from my list.

Identity and Worth – Ch 47