Walking Disasters and Me-Frustration and Hope – Ch 73

Walking Disasters and Me-Frustration and Hope – Ch 73

I'm still floating there a bit stun locked from both the realization of what I said and Ios' own confession, so dazed that I barely hear a cute giggle from said spirit before she poofs back out of the surrounding area and leaves me on my own. If I could rub my head in this form, I for sure would be doing just that. I mean... I
know
I've been having feelings for her, ones that just keep growing day by day when she isn't being an absolute troll. Hell, sometimes even
when
she is being a troll, it is kind of funny sometimes after all! After the fact... Not to mention she is
beyond
attractive and pretty much always attentive with her words, care, and actions. I don't honestly think I have
anyone
else in my corner so heavy outside of Sandra. Akiko is of course always with me too now, but it just... it feels
different
from Ios with how bonded we are already.
I don't even debate if I had confessed accidentally or didn't mean it, quickly knowing in my heart that I
absolutely
did. I was just so wrapped up in thoughts and emotions that it just slipped out in honesty, which really is par for the course for me. I sigh into the space around me, the inky void expanding and contracting with the effort as I decide to just accept it and know that its true. I look back toward the rainbow bridge, and prepare myself to go have a proper, full session of healing Sandy. Instantly, the scene around me shifts to her still cracked and fissured glowing form, although some of those cracks are filling in on their own now with the Qi that's still barreling into her. Just to ease my mind again, I flit all around her spherical form, checking for any remaining damage from the heart demon fight that hasn't healed yet.
I'm beyond glad to see that everything, from that fight at least, looks patched up and back to how she was before. I ping out a soft feeling of love, and relief, through the connection, trying and failing to get any answer back from the resting soul of Sandra. A tinge of blue wraps the space, my own slight sadness at the radio silence, before I let it go and start focusing on manipulating the Qi. It's so much easier and more malleable now with my new Wisdom, and I quickly lose any semblance of time - if I even had one to begin with due to all the time fuckery - as I inspect, fill, and watch cracks of deep, bleeding void become one with her golden shell. Like an orchestra only I can conduct for the one person in the audience, I weave the Qi this way and that, the delight of the experience and the rapid progress I'm making lifting my spirits out of the funk I was in previously.
When all is said and done, I take one last look around her glowing exterior and fill the space with yellows, golds, and rays of sunshine at the unbridled joy from my discoveries: There aren't any more cracks~!! I giggle happily to myself as I float all around her, like a twin star in orbit out in space, before I calm down and open up the main quest again to check how much progress I've
surely
made now.
[... current amount healed: 5.89%]
W...
What?!
But... But I just did
so much!
Healed and paved over
every
malformed break in her shell, made sure it
all
synched up with her energies, I even let the torrent of Qi keep blasting into her when I was doing the final walk around!! What the
FUCK
do you mean I'm not even at
6%
?!
Red lights the area around us making it look like the surface of Mars, my anger and frustration boiling over as I nearly scream out in a mixture of anguish and resentment to the
obviously
fucking wrong system prompt!! If Sandy wasn't here resting, I absolutely
would
too!
I dismiss the quest from my view haughtily, the red color now pulsing around us like a heartbeat, growing and dimming in intensity as I cycle through varying levels of being pissed off in my head while I come to terms with this. It... takes a while. And I'm still pretty damn salty after I finally get myself back under control, somewhat. The space agrees, still red but much softer and not as bright and demanding as my little freak out. I struggle to think of how to even go forward now, I was really,
really,
hoping that she would at least become
responsive
after her outer layer was healed.  I try and ping a few feelings at her as another test - apology for the outburst of emotions, love again, and hope - but I am still only met with silence.
I don't give up and try everything to make the progress go up again, but all I really can do right now is adjust the flow, amount, and placement of the Qi going into her. I do try each and every spot I can see, with a wide range of volumes and power, but as I bring the progress portion back up while I'm experimenting, nothing I do makes it move a single hundredth of a percent further upwards.
I do groan out a little bit this time, not really able to hold back the vexation that still rolls around inside of me, before I come to a thought. Maybe... Maybe the Empress can help? She
did
say that her power was mine to use, and I could sure as
shit
use it right now to figure out what the hell to do. I send over a little goodbye to Sandra's now complete form, a little drop of melancholy sinking to my stomach as I turn around and appear before the giant floating ball of soul energy that is me. Us... I guess...
"H-hey there uh... Empress? I... I could really use your help, or guidance, I guess? Sandra is healed, well her soul shell is now, but I... I don't know what to do to keep healing her. She's
far
from being done, and even the mountains of Qi I'm pushing to her aren't upping the progress at all now." I start a little shakily, but by the end the entire realm is bathed in dark, depressing blues as the flip side of anger now smacks me in the face. Especially after admitting all of this out loud. "
Please
...
Please
help me. I
need
her back; I miss her so much..." I make the sound of a sniffle and were I in the physical world I no doubt would be having a good long cry right now.
Nothing answers me here, making me think about the unintentional cold shoulder at the other end of the prismatic bridge. I go back to Sandra and see how much Qi I can spare to maybe feed into my soul and... wake up the Empress, I guess? I scale it back slowly, keeping a keen eye on how much wiggle room I'm going to be able to get, and it is a shockingly large amount. I find that I only need to devote around 5% of my total Qi accumulation rate to keep her in a small but purely positive Qi gain rate now.
Satisfied, I give her another goodbye even if she can't hear it, and teleport back to my soul. I begin blasting Qi through the connection, bringing the channel to life like a raging river that flows directly into the golden basin. It eats all of it up hungrily, the void around us becoming bathed in pure white light, and nearly instantly I see and feel those purple ribbons start to emit from the edges of the construct, their royal power and decree adjusting and feeding back into the flow model as a few float over in a serpentine manner to me. I take a deep mental breath and physically grab one, trying to channel my previous pleas into it as I repeat the speech out loud.
Even this doesn't seem to work, making me nearly fall into depression in earnest as I cut off the flow to the model, diverting most of it back to Sandra for now, the purple ribbons slowly receding back into the blazing sun. I didn't get any emotions or thoughts, no whispers or slight feelings of guidance from my soul at all. My one last hope for now, met with another failure. This entire soul space becoming more barren and increasingly lonely in my mind as I try not to let the sadness overwhelm me. Without any direction or path forward, I begrudgingly decide to leave, hoping that Ios can help maybe. At the very least she can be an ear to listen to all of this with me.
I open my eyes slowly, feeling some dampness on my cheeks. I raise a couple fingers up to inspect, and find that I have been crying, which is honestly fair at this point. It's been a roller coaster of a day... I untangle myself fully, sitting up in bed as I call out for Ios. "Ios? Can you talk for a bit? I... have some news about Sandy and Ilya."
Without a fraction of a second passing after I'm done talking, Ios' form pops up next to the bed, still clad in her pajamas as she speaks out in a rush, "Is everything okay?? How'd it go? I saw you made a lot of progress tonight, so why are you so sad, honey?" A holographic hand comes up toward my cheek, and I mime into its touch as I exhale out more of those blue emotions.
"It started well," I begin with sorrow on my voice, "I repaired all of the external damage to the shell of Sandy's soul, but... but she still wasn't responsive after that. And when I was done, the quest stopped ticking up progress, no matter how much energy I was forcing into her, no matter where I applied it either. I tried to ask the Empress for help..." Ios looks a bit concerned at that admission, but I just give her a small fake smile as I continue, "I rolled back as much of the flow going to Sandra as I could without her being in danger of regressing, and then flooded my soul with it until the ribbons came back out. I did try just asking her... me? Whatever, I tried asking her first, when no Qi was going in but I got nothing back, so that's why the little experiment happened.
Anyway, I grabbed a ribbon and asked again, verbally and mentally as hard as I could. But... again. Nothing. I...
I don't know what to do now, Ios.
I know this is the first night, but seeing all of that progress and then hitting some wall I don't know how to climb is b-breaking me." I hiccup as tears freely flow down my face again, sad cries starting to echo into the room as Ios shushes me comfortingly and just stays present for it all. I'm stuck mid wail as the door flies open, the snowy white hair of Akiko the one thing I catch from the corner of my eye before I'm bodily tackled back into the bed, her soft tails coming up to hug me gently as I press my sobbing face into her breasts and wail even harder. Her hands come up to stroke my hair softly, her head leaning down against mine as we tangle together and she lets me let it all out.
Ios gets her up to speed while I'm coming down from the tempestuous emotions, feeling hollow and shattered inside while Akiko hugs and rocks me slightly. It does help, admittedly, but I'm just so emotionally exhausted from today that I don't think I'm getting back to normal again until I sleep some. Both women wait for me to fully get to the other side of despair, my sniffles and hiccups slowly ceasing over the course of a few minutes until I'm carefully picked up and brought over to the table, Akiko placing me lovingly in her lap while her tails wreathe and wave slowly against my naked form. I lean my head into the crook of her neck, closing my eyes as her fresh clean scent permeates my tired mind and further helps calm me down.
We stay cuddled like that for another few moments before Akiko finally breaks the silence, her voice coming out full of sympathy and sadness of her own, "
I am so sorry
, my dear sweet girl. I can only imagine how agonizing and helpless the situation may now seem to you. You did
remarkably
well to fight through it and try your best at any solution, and I am
proud
of you, Amelia. We
will
devise a way to continue progress my love, you have my word on that, so do not give in to despair completely. Let it wash through and out of you, leaving your resolve stronger than before. Spirit Ios, Gerra, Jun Li, Samantha, and myself are always
right
beside you, rooting for your success and future reunion."
I lean up slowly and give her a big, messy kiss on her cheek before settling back down as the weariness starts to claw into me. "Thank you, Aki. For coming over and for everything. You're always so amazing that it nearly
hurts
sometimes, but that's exactly what I need right now." I yawn, my eyes closing harshly as I raise a hand to cover my mouth. "Do... Do you think you could stay with me for... however long of the night we have left? If you and the girls still need to uhm...
see to each other
, then that's fine too. I could just
really
use your comforting aura after today; my brain is so fried right now."
I feel her nod against my head as she replies, "It has been only a couple of hours since dinner ended, and while I
did
administer some affections to them, I was told by everyone present to immediately go investigate what had upset you so. I believe Samantha's words were 'Mistress, if you come back here tonight without Amelia's approval, I shall be
quite
cross with you~.' hehe~! It truly is
astounding
how quickly she bonded to you, Amelia. I fear you do not fully grasp that yet, or see its full results given her usually stoic nature, but she is without a doubt
just
as smitten and growingly devoted to you as the other two are~."
I blush heavily against the pleasantly cool skin of the fox woman, tucking myself further into her embrace as she chuckles and adds on, "Spirit Ios and I can stay up and discuss theories and options while you take one of the sleeping pills from your arrival here at the estate, love. You need rest, and I fear it may not come easily to you after the impactful events that transpired today. I shall lay
right here
beside you until you awake, have no fear."
Honestly, that sounds like the perfect plan. Take the magical Benadryl and go comatose, just a full hard reset on my exhausted mind. I nod to her this time, which gives her the signal to pick me up and plop the both of us softly down onto the bed. We don't bother with the covers, her fluffy, warm, and unquestionably wonderful tails coming around her to cover and - slightly - wrap around my arms, legs, and waist just like I like~.
I yawn again, leaning over to give her a kiss on the lips this time before I lean back into the pillow of her arm and say, "Thank you, Akiko. This means a lot to me, that you'd stay by this sad girl's side instead of having a blissful time with three certified baddies~. I love you, and I'll make it up to you someday."
Akiko simply giggles as she uses Qi to float the pill bottle over and take one out, handing it to me as she kisses my forehead, "Think nothing of it, my dear. You are just as important to me as the others, and your well-being and health come as a top priority to all of us. Now, rest and sleep peacefully, you darling, sweet, and thoughtful girl~. I love you as well."
As I'm about to take the pill, Ios pipes in from across the room, giving Akiko and I our space as she says, "I didn't want to interrupt, but before you knock out Aims, let me just say that I'm also
so proud
of you for giving it your all tonight. I know how
devastating
a temporary setback like this can be -
trust me -
and even then, you fought with all your heart to overcome it. Like Akiko said, we're going to figure this out,
together
. Love you, mwah~" She ends with a wink and a blown kiss, making my face drop in crimson color.
Akiko gives a smirking smile and questioning eyebrow raise as she looks between the two of us,
"Hoo~?
It seems we shall have
many
things to discuss through the night then, spirit Ios~. Congratulations, to both of you. I was truly surprised you two had not gotten into a relationship sooner, with how you act and flirt with each nearly non-stop." I squirm and try to hide my face in the nearest tail which makes both of them laugh a little as Akiko raises my head back up. "Here, my dear, take this and sleep. We shall be right here when you wake."
She gently raises up the pill in front of my face, the blush returning as she apparently means to feed it to me! Well... my arms are kind of trapped by her right now, so I guess that makes sense... but it's still pretty damn horny. If I wasn't so burnt out, I'm sure this would have developed into some spicy chapter in a novel! I open my mouth a bit, enough for her to feed me the pill as embarrassment wafts off of me. Akiko gives me a smirk and then plops the round little candy like pill on my tounge, it dissolving nearly instantly as I try to use the Qi to swirl it toward my brain. I don't really get much time to do anything, however, as the moment it begins to dissolve, I feel my head grow heavy and land against the firm, soft flesh and fur of Akiko, my eyes closing like leaded weights as I slip into dream land.
I wake up in some kind of hazy, inky space as my muddled mind tries to piece together where I am. I look around and see a very familiar sight, my flow model. Complete with the silvery moon, the pitch black but still defined river, and then the...
Holy shit...
Where my soul usually is in the model, a giant throne of gold now resides, tapestries of deeds and banners of deep purple trimmed in gold hanging behind and above it respectively wave in some unseen wind as a figure - taller than any mountain on Earth or Mara - rests in the regal position of authority.
The Empress
...
Her form is beautiful, almost enough to destroy my mind as I look upon her. Generous curves, wide hips and long legs, perfectly slender arms attached to the torso that carries a magnificent pair of breasts. All of it only the silhouette though, as her entire body is filled with inky black void, outlined by a shining border of white energy. I raise my sight up further, taking in her angular framed face devoid of any features except the blazing inferno of white flames that dance from where her eyes are, shooting off to the sides of the brow in whisps of scorching energy.
She wears only some bracelets and bangles on her arms, each made of gold and adorned in gems and stones, while a purple cloak of the same color as the banners rests behind and under her seated form. A crown that exudes power rests on top of her long, flowing pitch-black hair that also move in the same unseen wind, pointed and severe in the color of gold mixed with white. I feel the strange urge to bow, or show deference, before I shrug off the sensation and gather my nerves. I look back to her face, noticing that her intense gaze is locked directly on me as a small bead of apprehension settles into me.
In a chilling, stern tone that still somehow conveys softness, the Empress speaks to me, the environment rumbling and shaking just from her words alone, "Be not afraid, Amelia. Our time is short here, and you are still not strong enough to reside in my presence for long. I have heard your plight, as it is mine as well, and will offer you what aid I can without disturbing your own progress."
I nod, or well, try to, but find the act impossible. A sense of embarrassment and appreciation ebbs out of me, making the beings eyes slightly squint in what I assume is amusement as she continues, "Listen close, little one. The kitsune and your attached entity will likely instruct you on this world's information regarding souls. Listen to it well, for it is decent enough to help you achieve your goals. The main reason you are not recovering your mate now is that you lack comprehension of what a soul
is
. What it needs to
thrive
and
live
, as well as
heal
. Take the wisdom afforded to you by those around you and also advance your cultivation. The more you understand and uncover about the true nature of soul cultivation, the sooner progress will again be had."
I flash a sense of understanding as she nods her head slightly, her towering form now standing right in front of me, no taller than I am as she speaks again, her words gentle but no less powerful, "Be warned, Amelia, that this
will not
be the last obstacle you and Sandra must overcome or navigate on the journey to restoring her to proper form. The soul is a complex, interconnected thing that requires specific and vast knowledge to fully comprehend. Take heart, for I know you have the strength to persevere. The same for Sandra as well. Together, you two will become an unstoppable force, able to meet and break any challenge placed in front of or between you. You must merely fight to reach that reality and fight to keep it. Now, Wake Up."
As soon as she says that, she reaches toward my vision and snaps her fingers, her eyes flaring a bit in intensity as I'm brought back to the waking realm in an instant, gasping for breath. Akiko wraps me in a hug in a nanosecond and begins to stroke my hair again while whispering sweet words to me as I calm down, my hands slightly shaking. "It's okay, my love, I'm here. I'm right here. Shh.... Everything is well, just breathe for me darling..."
Eventually, I level out again, and my breathing returns to normal as I mumble some thanks into Akiko's breasts, which she had thrust me into when she grabbed me. Not a bad way to wake up, if it weren't for all the universal deity level soul shenanigans and sagely advice. I lean back from Akiko, noticing Ios at the foot of the bed as she looks on in concern as well, both of them waiting for me to fill them in on what spooked me so badly in my sleep.
I give them both a small smile as I stroke the side of my cheek sheepishly,
"So
... I had a little chat with the Empress... Well, more like the
Empress
had a chat with
me
. I know part of what we need to do to heal Sandy and Ilya now." My own relief at the statement must carry over, because even though Ios and Akiko still look a little bit concerned by what I said, hearing that I've found a partial way forward brings dazzlingly bright smiles of joy to each of their faces.

.
!
Frustration and Hope – Ch 73