Walking Disasters and Me-Reconciliation – Ch 10

Walking Disasters and Me-Reconciliation – Ch 10

My mind is still a little shaky as I start to become lucid again.
Fuck
, that was a bad one. Although it doesn't feel like I was down for as long as I should have been, given how extreme this attack felt. I don't even really remember what happened before I broke down, only the overwhelming amount of fear and panic that I was experiencing. I remember hearing voices talking while I was catatonic, but their words didn't make sense with me being lost in the abyss like I was. What I can feel firmly now though is the warmth and comfort that whoever is holding me is giving me. Their hands are raking through my hair like Sandra usually does, but these comfy pillows that I'm resting on
definitely
are not hers.
Memories start to return to me, conversations and a woman who is impossibly beautiful straddling my waist. Her vibrant, purple eyes that seemed to drill into my soul. I start to take in my surroundings again, and I can tell that on top of being cradled, I assume by the fox woman I just met, I'm being enveloped in several fluffy objects that feel
amazing.
I open my eyes as much as I can, which sadly takes most of my strength. I'm always so wiped out after these episodes; I've had to have Sandra straight up feed me after some attacks because my body was just that exhausted. My eyelids open once, before closing heavily again making me force them open once more, my blurry tear-filled sight looking around the still dark cave that I remember falling asleep in. I wiggle just enough that I can look up and see who owns these perfect sleeping spots, my fizzled brain firing on no cylinders.
As I thought, it is the beyond sexy fox woman that is holding me gently to her chest, surrounding me in safety and comfort. Even in my addled state, I can still identify her clean carpet like scent and the warmth from her body fills me with security. I look deeply into those amethyst eyes before asking the only question that makes sense right now.
"Am I dreaming again?" Even I can hear how soft and vulnerable my voice sounds, but I literally cannot care right now. I just want to stay in this comfy, safe embrace forever.
I see a faint smile touch her heavenly face, her eyes having a faint squint as she looks down to behold my sorry state before she says, "You constantly continue to be adorable, do you know that Miss Dufort? How are you feeling? Do you want me to put you down?" The concern in her voice and her eyes bleeds through and further warms my heart.
"No! No, please just... let me stay here awhile longer. Sorry, I know this is probably awkward, but you're beyond comfy to rest on. This is healing me better than the therapists back home." I respond, probably too quickly with a blush forming across my face.
Her smile deepens as she uses one of her hands to stroke my cheek softly. "Very well, we can stay like this for a time. Amelia, what happened if you don't mind me asking? If you're not ready to share, I understand, but I just want to make sure you express what exactly caused such an extreme reaction, so that I learn what not to do in the future." She says with her voice soft and full of care.
I sigh in her embrace, pushing my face against the hand that is stroking my cheek, before giving her the full Amelia experience.
"I... struggle with panic attacks. I have since I hit puberty, and they can be pretty severe. Random thoughts can pop into my head and send me into a spiral, usually without me being able to do much to stop it. Sometimes they are nothing, just a minute or two of a freak out before I can pick myself back up and keep going. But other times I will be down for days if someone else doesn't help me out of it. The doctors... healers... back home never knew why I had such severe episodes. I had a solid, safe family that loved me, I wasn't being bullied or anything growing up, nothing external that could trigger such extreme reactions. Eventually, they decided that it must be some kind of... defect with the chemicals in my brain. Some chemicals being produced too much, while others not enough.
Sadly, the world I was from did not have a great understanding of the brain still, so the options for care and recovery were limited. I went through
so many
different medicines trying to get some kind of relief. Some worked but brought other side effects that made it nearly impossible to live, and others just didn't work at all. I went to a lot of therapy, and that is what helped the most honestly. Just being able to talk out my thought process without the fear of judgement.
But what happened this time was that I was scared. Terrified." I hug Akiko tightly, if she is still in her torture / interrogation phase then me being honest and vulnerable might help. And I'm feeling pretty fucking honest and vulnerable right now. Co-dependent accusations be damned. "I don't know how you or anyone from here would react to someone like me, who just shows up out of nowhere, from a different reality. Back home, anything different was almost always met with violence. We had genocides because some people looked slightly different or worshiped a different god.
You were so... intense when you started really asking questions, and I just... *sob*... I couldn't stop the panic from building. And you had my hands basically tied down, and had my face locked up, and were laying on top of me so I couldn't move at all. Plus, I had just woken up! Madam Akiko, that was honestly the most scared I've ever felt in my life, even including those fucking bears. I thought if you found out about me, or didn't think I was being honest, you were going to kill me, or worse. I did briefly think you were just going to... scoop me and make me into some kind of sex slave or something by how you were acting before." I finally choke out, tears beginning to fall again against her voluptuous chest.
"Oh Amelia, I am truly and deeply sorry for my actions. I know the value of that statement is probably a poor balm right now, but I will promise you now that nothing of the sort will happen again from me. I... had a talk with your benefactor spirit. She was able to explain the most pressing things, so worry not. No more questioning like that from me. Now, I just want to make sure you are well and discuss how we can move forward. In truth, transmigrators like yourself are exceptionally rare but not unheard of. They are usually heralds of change and rapid growth, often fueling advancement and chaos equally. However, I vow to you now that I will do my utmost to protect you since I have caused you such distress.
I know you know very little of this world, but I will speak plainly to you. My actions here were beyond unbecoming and could be viewed as malicious by several. I am at the peak of mortal cultivation, the strongest someone can be before becoming Immortal, and I took advantage of you. I deeply and truly apologize, Amelia. If you find it within yourself to forgive me, I will offer any aid possible, including taking you in as my personal disciple so that no other outside influences can harm you as you acclimate to this world.
However, if you wish for us to part ways after my unsightly behavior, I fully understand. I will leave you with several treasures, pills, and manuals so that you may find your path successful, and we shan't speak to each other again." She finishes.
I hold her eyes the entire time she is speaking, and I can see honest regret and sadness when she talks about her fuck up. Even more so when she suggests for us to part ways, like it pains her to even suggest it. I turn my face back down into her breasts, and nuzzle in as I hold her tight, seeking the grounding comfort that she is providing. I hear her softly chuckle as she goes back to stroking my hair, her tails gently moving against me trying to give additional security and heat.
What do I want to do? I need a place that is safe to start doing this cultivation stuff and start healing Sandra. I also need to trust that place, or that person, so that I won't worry about them taking advantage of me or selling me out once they realize how broken Luck is. Apparently, Ios and her have had a conversation already, which I wasn't aware was possible. I look back up to Akiko.
"Can I speak to Ios? Oh, that's the name of the ghost or spirit that's inside me you keep mentioning, just in case she didn't mention it when y'all talked before. I just need to clarify somethings, and make sure what we decide on is what both of us want." I say calmly and with a steady voice, thankfully. I did let a 'y'all' slip out, but you can't win them all.
"Of course Amelia, I shall simply continue holding you and keeping you warm~." She replies with a wink. The way my heart still flutters when she does, even while I'm still recovering from the panic attack, really speaks volumes for how down bad I am for this foxy woman.
I nod before briefly saying, "Thank you, I'll be right back." and then try mentally talking to Ios. I think I remember her saying we could talk like this, but I haven't yet tried to since it's easier to just speak out loud.
Ios, are you there?
'Hey honey, how are you feeling? I know you're in the middle of working through everything, but if you need me to buy something just let me know.' I hear her sing song voice filled with care touch my mind. I smile a bit, it sure is nice to be pampered! Too bad it took a near mind breaking panic attack to get here though.
Thank you hun. No, I'm okay for right now. I'm still kind of... numb but Akiko is surprisingly good at pulling me back to normal. Speaking of, apparently you two had a conversation? I thought you could only talk to me or Ilya, after we heal Sandra of course.
'Good, I'm glad you're recovering sweetie! ~ The offer is always open, so if you decide you need something just let me know. We have the points for a lot of stuff right now.' She responds with her previous tone before a loud scoff comes into the channel, 'That ridiculous fox. I get why you're into her, but she really fucked up Aims. I was honestly
this
close to just buying a small-scale shaped explosive that would have at least maimed her stubbornly beautiful form.' She finishes with a huff.
Well, to be fair I don't think anyone is truly ready to deal with the mess that is me. I'm kind of a lot, if you haven't noticed yet. Anyway, what did you tell her? Just so I don't rehash anything.
'Amelia, you are an amazing person flaws and all, don't think less of yourself because you struggle with something outside of your control. As for what the dumb fox and I discussed, I used a few points to buy a one-use quantum entanglement communication device that I could access and speak to her with. Trust me, I will never use points without your permission unless you are in grave danger, which I considered you to be at the time.
I filled her in on the basics. She knows you're a transmigrator, obviously, and she knows her
place
now. She honestly did seem regretful about putting you into a lvl 10 panic attack, and her concern over Sandra and you also seemed genuine. As much as I dislike her for how she handled this whole interaction, I think we can trust her. You should take her offer of becoming her disciple and moving to her village. If she is legit then she can screen us from any prying eyes and give you a place to start cultivating. Not to mention, she knows more about this world and how it works than I do, having lived in it for who knows how long.'
Ignoring that extremely terrifying emphasis on Akiko knowing her place, I continue.
Are you sure? I'm pretty down for following her, I'm not going to lie. Yeah, she was beyond intense and scary, but when I wasn't panicking, I saw a lot of honesty and care in her eyes. Plus, she could have just robbed and killed us at any time, or threw me in chains or something when she found out how valuable I am. Anyway, I just want to make sure you are okay with going with her, this effects you too honey.
'You're a sweetheart, Amelia. I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't at least okay with it, but I really do appreciate you making sure. Let's go with Akiko but keep her honest. And try not to get too horny! You make piss poor decisions when you get wet Aims! Hehe~' Her teasing laugh echoes inside my mind as I once again flush in embarrassment. I can tell Akiko notices but chooses not to say anything which I appreciate beyond measure. I need to stop making a fool of myself in front of her!
I leave my cozy, booby nest and look back up into Akiko's perfect face, "Okay, we have a consensus. If you are serious about protecting me from others and giving me a space to train and learn how to cultivate, I will become your disciple. Ios told me you know a bit about my situation, and I am more than willing to talk more about it when we get to wherever you plan on taking me, but you should know I have no idea where to even start this. I only know what Qi is by context clues from the System, and I have no idea how these ranks and stuff work."
"Truly? You would still be amenable to becoming my disciple after everything that has transpired?" Her response catches me off guard, like she was expecting me to just turn tail the second she let go of me.
"Yes, Madam Akiko, if you would honor your promise, or whatever, then I would like to take you up on your offer. You are apparently on the peak of what is considered strong in these parts, and while our first impression wasn't stellar, you seem genuine about your regret and your offer. If you're seriously offering me protection and training, I will take it. My main goal is learning how to heal... Oh right, do you even know what or who is resting here?" I pat my stomach gently.
"No," She responds with a nod, "I asked the spirit Ios, purely due to my own fascination and just to make sure that you wouldn't be harmed or affected by it in your fugue state. However, she made it plainly clear that I was to ask you if I was still curious after our interaction. I'll admit that I am curious, but I do not want to pressure you into revealing information you are not comfortable sharing with me."
"Well, you're going to find out eventually. I probably, literally, cannot keep a secret from you if you do that pampering attack on me like you did at the start. That was... my God that was amazing. I don't think I've ever been so turned on..." Apparently my brain is still rebooting, because I just spilled the tea like it was going out of style. I think the entire upper half of my body is red from embarrassment, and I bury my face in my hands.
I feel Akiko's body shake as she laughs loudly, with a melodic tone behind it. I burrow myself deeper into her chest, hands still covering my face and my legs curl up as I try to do my best impression of a turtle and shrink down. This day fucking sucks. These days? Has it been 2 yet?
"Ara~ You
are
too much Amelia! I do not think I have ever had someone be so forward and honest with me, while seemingly too shy to do so. It's fine my dear, I know the effect I have on people I find attractive, and if that is something you want to pursue, I won't stop you. I feel after our first meeting however, we should strive to be honest with each other regarding it. Regardless, you were about to shed light on the secondary soul's existence?"
Thankfully she leaves me an out. Still doing my best impression of a tomato, I tell her, "That soul is my sister's... We both died at the same time, in the same place back on Earth. My old world. Apparently from what Ios said, the plan was for both her and I to appear here together, but something went wrong in the process. I was able to be reborn here but Sandra, that's her name, was damaged either from the accident that killed us or somehow during transit, and she burrowed into my body as it was being remade. Ios thinks that it was a certifiable, unique, never to happen again event. Which sounds pretty awesome, but it also means that her soul is still damaged inside of me.
I'll be honest Madam Akiko, my main goal right now is learning how to cultivate so that I can feed Sandra's soul enough energy to start healing. I have a skill from the System that will let me... resurrect her... once her soul has been repaired. Also, while we're discussing it... I do think you're beyond attractive. I would be overjoyed if we were to have some fun nights together, trust me on that. But certain things have come to light that make it apparent that Sandra and I may have been more than sisters in our feelings for each other.
To be honest, I'm still trying to come to terms with that. Search my feelings, trying to evaluate if its true, all that. But, looking back on some things that happened and how Sandra acted sometimes, I can increasingly see how there might be some truth behind it. If it is a real thing, then I don't want to start any kind of romantic relationship before Sandra gets healed enough for us to discuss those feelings. The last thing I want to do is betray her like that, if that is how she feels. I hope you can understand and I'm sorry for leading you on." I finish my blurb by tucking my head down to avoid her gaze, once more sinking into her chest.
"My~ You simply cannot stop providing fascinating situations, can you dear Amelia? I think that is more than fair, as I would hate to come between whatever connection you share with your beloved Sandra. The fact that you seem to still be considering me for romantic pursuits despite your connection, and how restrained and fair you are regarding other's feelings, brings me great comfort and hope.
Very well, I accept these conditions, Amelia Aims Dufort. If you accept, you will become my personal disciple in the Fox Village at my personal estate. We shall train you in weapons, crafts, and cultivation. I will also personally rake through the Village's library to search for anything that may aid in your goal of bringing Sandra back to the mortal plane in addition to keeping outside forces from affecting you. What say you?" She looks down at me and then gently raises her hand up so that if I accept, I would grasp it.
So, this is it? The classic branch in the road, where you have to choose your path going forward. Ios has given her approval, begrudgingly, and its true that Akiko is probably the strongest person around. I still have a decent amount of fear regarding all of this, but I can't let myself be paralyzed by it. No, this is the best chance I will probably ever have, from someone that is not only hot as hell, but interested in my safety and is willingly going to put effort into helping me heal Sandra. The answer is obvious then, isn't it?
"I accept, Madam Akiko. Thank you." I grasp her hand while still being cradled by her tails and raise my head to meet her eyes once more. Her shining, violet eyes still hold that same feeling of care, now laced with a bit of excitement, as the rest of her face is calm and serene with a small smile. I let the joy of finding my path wash over me and soon meet her smile with a big one of my own, my eyes closing shut and teeth on full display as my lips turn upward.
Hold on Sandra, I'll get you back soon.

Reconciliation – Ch 10