Walking Disasters and Me-Confrontation. Concern. – Ch 97

Walking Disasters and Me-Confrontation. Concern. – Ch 97

Ios' form pops into reality across from me, looking at me curiously before she asks out, "Hey hun. What's wrong? That sentence is like, the most well-known two-sentence horror story in existence so you've got me a little worried over here~." Despite her efforts at keeping the mood light, now that I'm face to face with her in private I can't help but let the anxious worry start to bleed out of me. I take in a breath, something that I know this avatar body doesn't
need
to do at all, but it helps keep the growingly stormy clouds of my emotions in check, and then breath it out slowly.
"I need you to be completely honest with me right now. No joking or teasing, or playing with the answer, okay?" I say resolutely as I stare toward her own avatar, the growing nervousness wafting off both of us now becoming palpable in the surrounding space.
"O-okay, I promise. What's going on, Aims?" Ios answers back with barely any hesitation, and the little she did have seemed to be from shock at my sudden declaration, which is a good sign for now as far as I'm concerned.
"Ios. I'm not the smartest person, I know that. I went to school, had good grades, but lived a very sheltered life because of my panic attacks and mental health, so a lot of nuances can slip past me. However, one thing I was always good at was reading people and the situations around me, at least when it didn't concern romance. Freely admit that was a blind spot borne out of a desire to just feel loved and accepted, but that's not important right now. This title change, the one that connected Akiko and I and seemingly lets me make however many more connections I want so long as both parties agree.
That's
why Ilya sought me and Sandra out, isn't it?"
Ios' eyes go wide, a tremor in her hands becoming masked as she grips them together in front of her in an attempt to hide it before she shakily replies, "I-I don't know, Amelia. Honestly! Everything I told you last time we were here was the truth! At least, as far as I understood things from what Ilya had described to me..." Her pleading eyes match the same tone in her voice, the distance between our floating forms now massive and small all at once.
"I want to believe you Ios." I say back with a barely restrained choke to my voice, "But you
lied
to me about being able to read my mind. You can see into the system and read anything inside of it! You've been able to do that since the very
start!
I don't know if I can believe that you didn't happen across this becoming an option! Even if the Empress changed the reward, can you
honestly
stand here and tell me that
[Tri-Pointed Soul]
wouldn't have
eventually
evolved and turned into what I have now? You said it yourself! Ilya was looking for ways to bond with people who were from a more stable dimension! This is
literally
the perfect tool to accomplish that, all forced and shoved down my throat, making me question the uniqueness and bond that I have with Sandra!"
Ios stammers a moment, her eyes struggling to meet mine as she chokes out, "I-I don't know, Amelia! I didn't look at that title's progression before it got changed by the Empress! I agree that what you're saying is suspicious and makes sense, but we can't know for certain until-"
I round on her form, pointing a finger accusingly toward her chest as the area gets a tinge of red around us, "
Suspicious?!
Oh, I'm
well
past suspicious. For all this talk of Sandy and I being special and unique, that just being near us would let you both heal and be safe, sure as
shit
seems like the real end goal was to groom us and then eventually make your own knock off's of our special connection, devalue its importance, all in an effort to save your skins from a threat that's an
eon
away. And let's not forget, you two have been sisters for thousands upon thousands of years! Are you honestly telling me she wouldn't confide in you about a plan to save your
species??"
I take a moment to close my eyes and try to reign in my chaotic emotions, taking a deep breath and backing up again before opening my gaze back to the shaking form of Ios, "I don't like being lied to, and I sure as fucking
SHIT
don't like being
used
. So tell me Ios -
right now
- did you know about the effects of that title, about it making new soul bonds, when you and I had sex? The implications of that that are so
painfully
obvious, even to me?"
Ios holds my intense stare for a few beats of breath before her face lowers, and she is truly unable to meet my gaze. The red aura suffusing the space snuffing out completely, being replaced by the deepest, darkest sapphire. "I... I knew what the title said. And that you successfully bonded with Akiko, even if it was still weak and immature." She mumbles out in a whisper of guilt before raising her head again, tears streaming down her face as she goes to reach for my hand.
I pull it out of reach in a snap of motion. The look of pained hurt on both of our faces evident for different reasons as she retreats her hand and says in a sob, "But that was
never
my intention when we had sex, Amelia! Please, I know I shouldn't have kept the mind reading thing from you, I'm
sorry!
I just thought it was funny to mess with you a bit, and I also didn't want to overload you and freak you out any more than you already were! By the time I thought about revealing it to you, you had already figured it out! But please believe me on this, I would
never
use you like that! I am honestly, genuinely in love with you, a-and that
stupid
title was
never
in my mind during our first time together or afterwards!"
The sting of immaterial tears pricks my avatar's eyes, wobbling lips forming a desperate defense against a full-on sob as it becomes my turn to become unable to continue our staring contest. "Fuck, Ios. I
want
to believe you,
so badly
. I can tell that you're being honest, that's why I waited until we were alone here to even
ask
any of this..." The pause of silence lingers for a spell, only broken by soft sniffles coming from Ios before I raise my head back up to her, heart unsteady and mind whirling, "You
have
to see how this feels sort of like a betrayal for me. You said that you didn't know Ilya's full plan, which I do partially believe, but Ios. This is the
whole fucking plot!!
I just can't find it in my heart to trust you when you say that even if you didn't know this was the plan from the beginning, that you couldn't connect the dots with how often you're in the system!
And it's not like its some... some... far off and obscure title that's so esoteric that I'd be having to search around for it or do something crazy to get! It's literally the biggest, most
impactful
part of my existence here on Mara and apparently in all my shared lives! I bet that if you pulled up the evolution path for
[Tri-Pointed Soul]
right now
, we would see it branching all the way down to either what I have now, or something
just
as viable for Ilya and you to use. Tell me I'm wrong." I say in a mixture of agony and renewed anger, my attempts at corralling my emotions long having been abandoned by now.
Ios doesn't say anything back, her silence speaking volumes even if her trembling lips aren't. "
Exactly
." I say out harshly, my hair beginning to whip in turbulent unseen winds as the outrage bubbles as the walls around us mix in blue and red, "From the start,
this
was the plan. To use me, to use
Sandra
. Build us up to get to this point and then 'bond' with us so that you could avoid going back to the
fucking
twilight zone with Cthulhu. Ripping us out of our natural cycle of life and death, at a chance to be happy and together again in some other time and place, because it sure fucking seems like her and I would
always
be together, with or without you two interfering.  And then you two fumbling
so
fucking hard,
that Sandra broke and threw a wrench in all of those shitty schemes.
The only reason, and I mean the
ONLY
reason, I'm not freaking out on you right now is that even through all of this smoke and mirror
bullshit
, I can feel how much this hurts you and how much you love me. How
terrified
you are right now. But even that isn't enough, I will
never
let myself be used again, and Hell will
freeze the fuck over
before I let Sandra be used either. So, one last question. Did you know or suspect any of this, at
any
point, and then choose not to tell me?"
Ios sobs loudly as she tries to answer, her hands coming up to bat away the river of tears streaming down her face as I prepare to receive her answer, my heart breaking in more ways than one even if the rising maroon tide of anger drowns the melancholy beneath it. Just when I am about to turn away, to go stew and think about if I even want to
continue
our romantic relationship, Ios gives her response. Still choking on her own breath, she shakes her head fiercely side to side in a seeming negative. I float there, torn between wanting to believe her, to trust the honesty flowing from her body and in my mind, to take the broken state of her as a sign that she's being truthful. But... I need to hear it. My mind
won't
let me rest until she says it in
no
uncertain terms.
With broken, hampering sobs, Ios spits out between bursts of whimpers and arrested breath, "U-until you said it just now, I didn't think a-about it like that! I s-swear!! I
never
looked in to the
[Interconnected Soul]
title when you l-landed, aside from just showing it to you, and all the o-other changes to it was the same way! Just me looking at it to see what
*Hic*
what the effects were! Ilya
never
said anything about any of this to me, about this even being an
option!
She just said that we were going to be connected to whoever she picked, to help guide them and make sure they were happy and s-safe. To use the s-system for them or help them learn how to use it! Please, I'm sorry Amelia, but this is just a theory you have, one that I c-can see the
logic
in I admit, but
please
don't jump to conclusions until we know for certain."
With shaking and pleading hands, Ios once more reaches out toward me, the desperation, honesty, and fear all rolling off her form and sparking behind her eyes finally enough for me to reach a decision on what to do. In a flash of motion, I grab a pair of her hands and fling her into me, locking both of us in a crushing hug as she wraps her legs around me, jarring cries sounding loudly into my ear. I stroke her hair as I do the same, the instant remorse for my actions sending shots of liquid ice through my veins, leaving me feeling like a monster that I once hated. "I'm sorry, Ios. I just... I had to be sure. When that thought first came to mind, it started eating away at me until I could barely contain it. But I wanted to see your honest, genuine reaction so I had to keep it buried and locked up as tight as I could so you wouldn't see it before I asked you point blank. I was so scared about how you would answer, and I was so
angry
at the mere thought of it being real, but I shouldn't have cornered you like this. You didn't deserve that..."
Ios just shakes her head, wet streaks staining my shoulders while her words come out inside of my head instead of her wailing lips, 'It's okay Aims, I don't blame you. I'm
sorry
you felt like you couldn't trust me with this, but honestly, I can't even
begin
to fault you for wanting to ask it in such a way that you could be certain of the answer. I promise, again, that regardless of if that
was
the plan that Ilya had or not, I
never
saw what we have like that. I
love
you, and I would never hurt you or keep something like that from you.'
I let out a pitiful sob, the navy-blue soul scape sheltering us and our sorrows as we just hold each other tightly. Eventually, between comforting rocks of our bodies and shared renewal of bonds, we both settle down somewhat as we transition to laying 'prone' next to each other. Ios, never one to let a sad moment linger longer than needed, speaks out with a hoarse voice, "Well, I'll be sure to tell Akiko that you can be proper fiery when you need to be~. Although, she probably already knows that from when you bitch smacked her in the training room for like, 14 million damage that one time. That was a
nice
hit by the way~."
"Ugh," I moan as I hide my face with my hands, "Don't remind me, I felt so horrible afterwards. Which... seems to be a running theme with me these days. Acting rashly and then regretting what I do or say..."
"Aims," Ios says as she slides a hand to my face, and two more to pull my own hands away from their protection duties, turning me to face her before saying softly, "you're essentially still a 22-year-old young adult, albeit one granted with amazing and kick ass powers now~. You're
going
to make dumb mistakes, act rashly, and do things that you regret. And that's okay! It's part of growing up. If you did everything perfectly right, all the time, you'd never know how to handle failure. How to learn to grow from harsh lessons and mistakes, ensuring that you don't walk down the wrong paths in the future. It's all a part of a living experience, so don't beat yourself up too much, okay?"
I give her a weak smile before leaning in and kissing her, our lips sending sparks of a deeper emotion than lust as the surroundings are bathed in deep and luscious rose. Ios leans back, giving me a wink before huskily saying out, "You know~... If you're still feeling sorry for giving me such a
mean
and
cruel
interrogation, I could think of a couple ways to show me you're...
Apologetic~
." Her four hands glide and slide down my ribs and thighs, fingers tracing small circles and pressing in small ripples against the energy of the avatar as I bump our foreheads together in a lusty moan.
Jesus, this avatar body is so
fucking
sensitive!! "I promise I will, b-but I
did
actually want to keep going with cultivating too, and I don't know how much of my mind you'll leave intact if I follow through with that amazing offer." I say out weakly, my body pressing into hers on its own, desperate to replace the last vestiges of all of the chaos from earlier with something
much
more pleasant to feel.
"Really~? Then why are you groping my ass like that~? Hehe~." Ios playfully whispers into my ear as her thigh slides dangerously between my legs. However, in the cruelest action she's ever done yet, just when she's about to make contact and send me to paradise, she pulls her arms and legs back and plants a small kiss on my cheek. "Well~. I guess it would be wrong to keep you from cultivating, even if we could be having so much fun together instead~. Our bodies woven together in a slick and sultry mess as your sanity ebbs away with every clinch of your stomach... Woe to all the gods and beings, sadly though. I better let you get to it then~! Let me know if you need help with anything~!"
As my mind is reeling from her absolutely unmistakable - as well as effective - teasing, she giggles loudly and then blinks out of existence, leaving nothing but my suddenly desperate for release body as I lay there in disbelief. "Alright." I say out to the void, "I deserved that. Guess that's pretty good payback for what I did, I'll give you that one. I deserve more, so I shouldn't be surprised..." I groan out begrudgingly before righting myself and emptying my mind of all those errant thoughts.
It takes a while, but soon enough I'm able to reach a more Zen like state and begin to plan what I want to do. I check on how the ambient progress of infusing my lungs - and thereby blood - with Qi is going, but not finding too much progress overall. Which, fair. It's only been like a day since I started doing that. With echoes of the... talk... with Ios still recent in my mind, I look back toward the muscle group that I directly flooded with Qi. Remembering the pain and anguish it brought me as I stare at it for a moment...
The rest of that arm seizes up as I begin repeating the process that I stumbled into on accident to the rest of the muscle groups there, from the fibrous mesh around the shoulder joint all the way down to the tendons of the wrists and fingers. The pain is excruciating, nearly blinding my vision in the avatar as I keep focus, Ios' sad and crying face in my vision as I keep flooding the bulging sinews with power until I feel they can't take it anymore and level out. As soon as the pressure releases, white hot arcs of fire scorch up the arm of the avatar that was just treated, my shrieks of pain and dismay bouncing off the immaterial walls of the soul scape as I curl in on myself, hugging the limb to my chest as tears roll down my cheeks.
As soon as the splitting pain transforms into a throbbing ache, I look back to see just how much more...
vibrant
the muscles are. Like they are infused in rivers of starlight between their corded bands. I wait for the pain to subside completely before I take a breath and turn my vision to the other arm, Ios' pleas dancing in my head as I grimace and start pulling in energy once again.
I wake up on the huge ass bed with a fluttering of sore and tired eyelids. I go to rub them, wincing in a hiss at the sheer level of sharp soreness that permeates every part of my body after the failed attempt. Confused, I'm about to start looking around to see if Akiko like...
did
something to me in my sleep. Which... I mean, kind of hot? We'd have to talk about boundaries about that first though...
"No, you
sex pest
, you're sore because you self-flagellated yourself to the point of exhaustion. Congrats." I hear from the side, turning my aching neck on the pillow to see Ios' disappointed frown looking down at me, her arms crossed over her chest in the projection.
"Uh... Good morning?" I ask out cautiously, not ready to even begin trying to navigate the minefield I've left for myself. Damnit, past Aims, get your shit together!
"Uh huh. What the
fuck
, Amelia. You nearly broke through on your body path; I had to have Gerra come in here and legitimately knock you out. You weren't responding at all, you... Ugh. Here, look at this." Ios says in a huff before a few boxes of text appear in her place.
[Continued Quest: Become a Body Cultivator!
Reach the 4th Realm of the 2nd Rank of Body Cultivation!
Rewards: 250 Ability Points, 500 Shop Points, 25 Skill Points.
This quest will repeat with greater rewards as you progress through the realms and ranks of cultivation.]
[Progress: 100%]
Available Ability Points: 1,682
Available Shop Points: 45,300
Available Skill Points: 2,751
Hidden Quest Complete!
[Hidden Quest: Looking Ahead.
Successfully use techniques and skills above the level of your cultivation to improve or advance your path.
Reward: Title: [Overachiever]
[Overachiever]: Removes penalties and slows breakthrough speed for attempting to use means of improvement 1 Rank above your cultivation rank for any path.]
"Huh. I mean... hooray? Why am I still are sore and stuff though?" I ask out sheepishly, the projected form of Ios coming back as she squeezes my cheeks with her illusory hands. I'm about to play along with it as I see her fingers stretch out towards me, but I find that I don't have to as pain lights across my face! "Ow!! What the fuck?! Did you get a body or something??" I say out as I try to roll away from her, but even pushing my face into the pillow doesn't work.
"No, you
maniac
, I'm squeezing your soul avatar's cheeks since you're being so naughty!! And you still feel like you got
hit by a bus
because the shit you were doing wasn't
3rd Rank
body cultivation! It was
4th!
You monster! You're lucky it didn't
kill
you!" Ios says angrily before finally getting her fill of pinching my poor, abused face.
I turn back to her with tears welling in my eyes, but accepting the punishment nonetheless. "S-sorry... I just... I guess you're right. I wanted to punish myself for how I treated you. To make sure I felt pain for subjecting you to something that's too close to what I went through after I had a moment to cool down some... Sorry..."
Ios huffs as she sits down next to my still teary-eyed face. "Aims, go to the soul space real quick." Seeing the brief flash of panic on my face she lets out a small, amused breath of air before clarifying, "You're not in trouble and I'm not mad, anymore. Just go there, okay?"
I nod into the cushion shield of the pillow before closing my eyes, transporting my psyche right to the still stinging cheeks of the soul avatar before I look around. My mouth opens in shock when I do, as every cord of muscle is bathed in pure white starlight. "W-whoa... I guess... I went a little too far with that huh." I say out in astonishment.
"
That's
putting it lightly." Ios' voice comes out in a deadpan next to me. I turn my head to see her leveling a concerned but still pretty neutral stare towards me, making the shame and embarrassment start to rise to my sore face. "Aims, I know I jokingly left you to your own devices, and it was a funny payback I agree~. But
please
don't do this again. If you're actually struggling with something, don't turn to hurting yourself to get some kind of perceived justice that no one is asking from you. Do you... did you have those tendencies back on Earth? I didn't see any signs of it..."
I gasp as I rapidly entomb her in a hug, pressing our bodies together not in rapture but in reassurance, "
No!
No, Heavens no. Not that people struggling with that is
wrong
or something of course! I had some dark moments where... well. I think anyone with mental health problems probably has thought about, ya know... Not having to deal with the pain anymore. But I
never
hurt myself intentionally before. This..." I stumble as I look around the pulsing muscles once more, "This was just me blowing off steam, I think. It just had the added bonus of doing like you said, making me think I was making amends to myself. To you. I... I'm sorry, I didn't think about how this would look or affect you once you saw it. I didn't mean for it to get out of hand like that."
Ios separates us slightly, her worried eyes going over every inch of my face as she stays quiet, eventually responding, "Amelia, that's like... the textbook definition of people in the aftermath of a major self-harm event. I think we should talk about this more. At the very least, you have a Martyr complex, and I don't want you to fall into bad habi-..." Ios pauses as she closes her eyes and then sighs.
"Akiko is back, and it seems like she has some important things to talk about. We
aren't
done with this conversation though, Amelia. I'm serious,
please
talk to me or somebody before you have the thought of doing something like this again." I give her a shy nod as we hug again, me giving a soft "Okay..." before she disappears and brings us both back to the waking world.

.
!
Confrontation. Concern. – Ch 97