Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols-Chapter 198: The Absence of a Team Member (5)

Heavy drum beats mixed with electronic instrumentals and sound effects. The song’s atmosphere brightened, as if bathed in golden light.
[Jeho, Cheonghyeon]
My admiration
The path you walk
Becomes my path
So walk with a smile
Choi Jeho and Lee Cheonghyeon stood back-to-back, facing forward, smiling faintly. Their expressions were relaxed.
This part was originally meant for Kang Kiyeon and Choi Jeho. He felt a strange pang.
They filled the empty spaces smoothly and performed their parts flawlessly.
That was how Spark had always been in the IDC. Back then, they had much more time, but even now, Spark remained the same. There was a sense of duty to be even more perfect because of his absence.
Having experienced the same thing, Kang Kiyeon knew how difficult it was to suddenly change a stage performance, how much effort it required.
The layered instrumentals exploded in the chorus.
[Joowoo]
I want the highlight
To shine only on you
For the whole world
To be placed in your hands
And then there was Kim Iwol.
[Iwol]
This overflowing feeling
Is more than enough
As a reward
He smiled, a smile that seemed to shimmer with excitement yet held a hint of hidden intentions.
Perhaps because he was wearing colored contacts, a flash of blue light was visible in his eyes. It was the very embodiment of an overflowing feeling.
After the song ended, the five members, catching their breath, were captured harmoniously on screen.
Guilt.
Burden.
The creeping thought: Maybe they don’t even need me in this team.
Whenever those thoughts arose, what came to Kang Kiyeon’s mind…
“It won’t work if you’re gone for a long time.”
…was Kim Iwol’s voice.
‘What about you, hyung?’
The dorm fell silent as he turned off the TV.  Overwhelmed by anxiety, Kang Kiyeon did something he would never normally do.
Something like entering someone else’s room and opening their bag.
Even as he acted, Kang Kiyeon hoped desperately that his suspicions were wrong. He wished that when Kim Iwol found out, he would just scold him, saying, ‘No matter what, you shouldn’t touch someone else’s things’.
Inside the suitcase were familiar clothes and papers.
Kang Kiyeon reached for a pocket closed with a ziplock bag.
Maybe it really was just a stash of snacks. No one could be perfect all the time.
If it was just hidden snacks, Kang Kiyeon was willing to turn a blind eye.
The metallic sound of the zipper echoed in his ears. The tightly sealed cover revealed its contents.
* * *
‘That was a close one.’
I let out a sigh of relief as I unbuckled the harness around my abdomen.
After my skill level increased, my body moved beyond what I wanted; it moved according to the ideal form in my mind. According to Lee Cheonghyeon, it was like I’d awakened.
Thanks to that, I was able to not only memorize the choreography but also perfect it.  Challenging myself with acting had paid off.
Since I had some time left while everyone else was getting ready, I helped Park Joowoo, who was struggling with his harness. He was wearing so many belts because of my insistence that the main vocal’s impact needed to be visually enhanced. I’m sorry, Park Joowoo. But, hey, the fans will love it.
The atmosphere in the car was quiet.
It would be strange to be excited. Everyone was either double-checking their belongings or fiddling with empty water bottles.
When the car stopped at a red light, the manager, after some obvious hesitation, spoke as if he’d just remembered something.
“How was Kiyeon yesterday?”
Silence filled the car.
“He mostly stayed in his room. He said he wanted to rest.”
Jeong Seongbin, Kang Kiyeon’s roommate, answered.
The manager fidgeted with the steering wheel before speaking.
“When you guys get back to the dorm, I know you’ll be tired, but could you maybe try talking to Kiyeon?”
“Talk…?”
Park Joowoo, sitting in the passenger seat, chimed in.
“Ms. Jukyung tried talking to Kiyeon yesterday, but… he just kept saying he was fine.”
Considering Kang Kiyeon’s personality, it wasn’t surprising. He hadn’t even confided in Lee Cheonghyeon, who he had relied on the most during their trainee days.
“Being a celebrity is a mental battle. It’s not uncommon to get stressed from work. The company can provide plenty of support for that.”
As you worked, it was all too easy for people to become mentally worn down — either from piling stress they couldn’t vent or from experiencing something traumatic. Like the manager said, it could happen anywhere.
‘Assistant Manager, I don’t think I can work at this company anymore.’
The person I had my last meeting with said that they kept crying every Sunday night.
In a society where everyone was cautious about suggesting rest and treatment, fearing their superiors’ disapproval, who could blame Kang Kiyeon for refusing help?
But if the person in question refused help, there wouldn’t be much the company could do. They couldn’t force someone already overwhelmed by anxiety.
‘The company must be anxious too.’
Kang Kiyeon himself probably wouldn’t like them talking about him behind his back. But it was something they couldn’t ignore, making the situation complicated.
“What should we say? Should we ask if he wants to try counseling or something?”
Despite the heavy atmosphere, Lee Cheonghyeon spoke up proactively. Kang Kiyeon had chosen a good friend.
“That would be good. Or you could just listen to what Kiyeon has to say. He doesn’t have anyone to lean on. He doesn’t want to tell his parents either… but with you guys, he might open up a little.”
We nodded in agreement.
However, despite our enthusiastic response, Kang Kiyeon was extremely guarded.
* * *
It started off okay.
Perhaps hearing us coming in, Kang Kiyeon came out of his room and greeted us.
He apologized and said we must be tired. Jeong Seongbin soothed him, saying there was nothing to apologize for, and gently changed the subject.
‘What were you doing?’
‘Just… watching some music shows.’
Although he avoided eye contact, Kang Kiyeon answered politely. He even exchanged a few jokes with Lee Cheonghyeon.
‘If you’re not too tired, do you want to talk for a bit?’
Jeong Seongbin asked in a tone that was hard to refuse. It was difficult to flatly reject someone who spoke with such consideration. I definitely didn’t say this because I’d been constantly nagged by Seongbin lately.
Anyway, Kang Kiyeon agreed to Jeong Seongbin’s suggestion and sat down at the table.
A serious, though somewhat stilted, conversation followed. We asked if he was uncomfortable being alone, if he needed any help.
He answered politely, but his responses were all negative. He insisted he didn’t need any help, that things would naturally get better if he just tried hard enough, and that it wasn’t something the members needed to worry about.
Kang Kiyeon fidgeted with his hands.
‘He wasn’t this bad before.’
Kang Kiyeon had always had a habit of getting nervous, but it had never been to the point of halting activities.
Even if Kang Kiyeon pushed himself too hard, it was unlikely UA would have neglected him. Despite their incompetence in other areas, UA had always been generally supportive of their artists.
In fact, I thought things had improved a lot. Compared to before—when the group faced controversy over supposedly ignoring a member during a broadcast—nothing like that had happened again.
‘Is it because of the increased attention? Or was the survival program too much for him?’
Looking at Kang Kiyeon staring blankly at the table, I felt uneasy.
“Still, Kang Kiyeon, counseling might be a good idea, don’t you think? It’s not like going to the hospital.”
“I’m fine, really. I rested today, so I feel much better. I’m sorry I couldn’t be on the music show with you guys…”
“No, that’s not what I want to hear!”
Lee Cheonghyeon barely managed to control his rising voice.
‘I was wondering if you could get some advice on how to manage your nerves.’
He was the one who had reached out to me first in the beginning.
I couldn’t fathom what was cornering him like this. It made me feel like we’d been so focused on performing that we missed something important.
“At least think about it in a positive light.”
I’d been trying not to speak, feeling guilty, but seeing Lee Cheonghyeon struggling so hard made me speak up.
That was when it happened. Kang Kiyeon looked me straight in the eye.
Come to think of it, it had been a while since we’d made eye contact.
Why? I hadn’t discriminated against him when giving out parts or screen time.
Even though we weren’t roommates, I should have talked to him as much as I did with Jeong Seongbin and Park Joowoo.
Why is he looking at me…
…like he resents me?
As soon as that thought crossed my mind, Kang Kiyeon spoke.
“I don’t want to hear that from you, hyung.”
His voice was sharp. The gentle attitude he had towards the other members had turned cold.
“Hey.”
Choi Jeho, who had once experienced similar words from Kang Kiyeon, started to rise from his seat. I silently grabbed his arm, signaling him not to interfere.
“Did I do something wrong to you?”
“…….”
“Are you uncomfortable talking with everyone because I’m here? If that’s the case, I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I’ll leave.”
The last thing I wanted was for Kang Kiyeon’s rare willingness to talk to the members to fall apart because of me.
As I pulled back my chair and was about to leave, Kang Kiyeon snapped.
“Don’t twist my words. When did I ever say that?”
His raised voice startled the others. They seemed unsure of what to do. Intervening might agitate Kang Kiyeon further, but ignoring him seemed like insubordination.
I didn’t care about insubordination. It was not like there was a big age gap between us anyway.
But hostility was a different matter.
“Counseling? Therapy? Are you in any position to tell
me
to get those?”
Kang Kiyeon’s anger was clearly directed at me.
My mind spun into chaos.