Assistant Manager Kim Hates Idols-Chapter 199: The Absence of a Team Member (6)

What did I do wrong to Kang Kiyeon?
When did he start resenting me?
Kang Kiyeon’s eyes were bloodshot. A scene flashed through my mind.
The day I woke up in the hospital room after being beaten by Yoo Hansoo, Kang Kiyeon staring down at me with an impassive expression.
‘Aren’t you even angry, hyung?’
‘About what?’
‘Aren’t you thinking about anything other than us being shocked and ing Yoo Hansoo?’
Compared to now, he had been strangely calm back then.
‘I stopped Jeho hyung earlier because he was too agitated, but hyung, you too…’
And then Kiyeon had added…
…that he wished I would tone it down sometimes. That it made them feel like fools for worrying.
But what did that have to do with this situation?
As I struggled to understand, Kang Kiyeon spoke.
“I told you before. It feels like only we end up looking like fools because of you, hyung.”
“…….”
“You’re asking what you did wrong? If it’s uncomfortable for me because you’re here?”
Kang Kiyeon abruptly stood up. His breathing was ragged.
“Hyung, you really… have a knack for pissing people off.”
He stormed into a room, slamming the door open as if he was going to break it down.
My room.
When he came back out, he was carrying my suitcase.
“You said you were fine.”
He muttered, his voice strained.
“You said you were used to it. You said you weren’t in pain. You said you weren’t lying.”
“Kiyeon, wait.”
Kiyeon opened the suitcase without hesitation. His hand reached for the zipper of the ziplock bag inside.
“Kiyeon!”
Even as I called out his name, he didn’t stop.
With a ripping sound, the zipper opened, and empty painkiller bottles and pill wrappers tumbled out. The plastic bottles and metallic foil wrappers clattered against the floor.
“Even after this, you think you have the right to tell
me
to get counseling? What about you? Do you think this is normal?”
Kang Kiyeon’s face twisted. He looked distressed.
“You’re still asking if
I’m
the only problem? Someone is barely holding on, and you think I should go to the hospital just because I get a little nervous? Me? With what face? Get a grip.
You’re
the one who needs counseling or a hospital!”
Kiyeon shouted, his face flushed.
My head hung low. I couldn’t face him.
As my gaze fell on the scattered pill bottles, something suddenly came to mind.
≫ So what’s the deal with LCH’s drug addiction?
Was he a real druggie?
└ No, he was just addicted to painkillers
└ You can get addicted to painkillers? I had no idea;;;
≫ Only Lee Cheonghyeon got screwed over
Fans left thinking he was on drugs, but he wasn’t
It would have been less unfair if he’d actually been on drugs
└ I know he didn’t do anything wrong, but the agency’s response made me lose faith and leave the fandom……They kept quiet while fans were getting bashed, and in the end, they made him apologize live for an hour, what a joke
≫ Still, addiction is addiction
I left my previous fandom because of a druggie, and now it happens here too
└ Isn’t this situation a bit different…? Painkiller overuse is way more common than you think
└ Just search it up, you’ll see regular headache meds don’t cause addictionㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Nice try defending
└ ‘Usually’ doesn’t mean the possibility is 0…Depending on the ingredients, you can get addicted, or it can turn into chronic headaches, making it impossible to stop taking the pills. It’s a dangerous habit to believe only what you’ve read in a couple of articles
≫ But he did do something that could be misunderstood
Everyone in that group tested positive, but only Chungkwang tested negative? Who would believe that lol
└ Stop talking bullsh*t. As if UA would spend money to manipulate test results to cover up an artist’s scandal
└ Even if he wasn’t on drugs, his behavior was suspicious enoughㅋㅋㅋ Who told him to befriend ‘those’ idols?
└ Deleted comment
└ Deleted comment
└ Deleted comment
Lee Cheonghyeon—who became addicted to the same headache medicine I used.
Jeong Seongbin—who was bullied by Jang Junhoo for years.
Choi Jeho—who had a troubled home because of an immature father…
‘Why are they all so similar to me?’
If it were just one or two people, I would have dismissed it as a coincidence.
But taking the same medication? That was suspicious. Especially when Kang Kiyeon, right in front of me, was breathing the same way I had when I’d collapsed in the bathroom at Hyeonpyeong Industry.
“See?”
Kang Kiyeon’s voice interrupted my runaway thoughts.
His dry gaze was fixed on me.
“A member is rummaging through your bag, revealing everything you’ve been hiding, making a mess, and you’re thinking about something else.”
“Kiyeon, that’s…”
“Sometimes I wonder if you’re even human.”
Of course I was surprised. And flustered.
But I’d entrusted all my negative emotions to something called system.
And before that, this whole series of events was too suspicious.
So…
“You asked why I’m anxious, right?”
Kang Kiyeon’s body trembled. I could hear his teeth chattering.
“I don’t have the confidence to tear myself apart and rebuild like you do, hyung. I know I depend on you too much. Maybe that’s why. I can’t relax because I don’t know when you’ll collapse, and even when you seem fine, I’m suspicious that it’s a lie.”
“…….”
“I can’t trust you. I’m scared you’ll die somewhere. You might not care, but that’s how I feel. You might have forgotten, but I still remember that day.”
With tears welling up in his eyes, Kang Kiyeon continued his accusations.
“You’re not that kind of person, but I’m worried about when you’ll be criticized by people again. To me, there’s no one more perfect than you, but if someone like you gets criticized, I fear that someone like me will just be forgotten and ridiculed by the public. Is that enough for you?”
“Kiyeon.”
“I’m trying, too. I read fan letters over and over again to remind myself that there are more people supporting us than hating us, and I try not to overthink the compliments you guys give me.”
“…….”
“But still, what can I do when the bad thoughts won’t stop?”
Kiyeon’s voice was a mixture of resignation and passionate outburst.
“Don’t say you hid it for our sake. That’s not kindness—that’s selfishness.”
He spoke haltingly, but his words cut me deeply.
“It’s because of you.  That I’m anxious.”
+
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
▷ Reduced perception of negative emotions effect is currently active.
.
.
.
+
The system notifications rang.  No further explanation was needed.
* * *
Jeong Seongbin was the one who stepped in to defuse the situation.
He took Kang Kiyeon to his room. Park Joowoo followed, giving us a look before closing the door.
Suddenly, only Choi Jeho, Lee Cheonghyeon, and I were left in the living room.
“Ha…”
A deep sigh escaped me. I rubbed my face roughly with my hands.
As I squatted down to pick up the trash, something landed next to me. A garbage bag.
I looked up to see Lee Cheonghyeon looking down at me.
“Why are you putting that in your bag? Aren’t you going to throw it away?”
“……I will.”
“I’ll separate the plastic. You take the general waste. Jeho hyung, please fold the cardboard box.”
Lee Cheonghyeon squatted down beside me and started sorting out the large pill bottles.
“They’re all empty. 30 pills each, how many are there?”
“He can probably hear us.”
“You think Kiyeon didn’t see? He’s figured it all out. I don’t think you have a say in this anymore.”
His tone was playful, but there was no smile on his face.
“Since when?”
“If you’re talking about starting the medication, it hasn’t been long.”
“So you took all of this in that short time?”
That was my daily routine at the Hanpyeong Industry, man.
“Why does your head hurt? Explain properly. Or I’m calling Chanyoung hyung right now and telling him there might be side effects from your surgery.”
Lee Cheonghyeon rummaged through the suitcase, making sure there was no more trash, and spoke firmly.
“It’s a chronic headache. I’ve always had it.”
“It wasn’t bad enough for you to take medicine when we were trainees.”
“Can’t you just let it slide? I thought I was answering properly.”
“Did you answer? You got exposed.”
When a few more pill wrappers came out of my hand, Lee Cheonghyeon furrowed his brow.
“I was going to keep quiet because I might hurt your feelings, but now I understand why Kang Kiyeon said you don’t seem human.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not hurt by that.”
“That’s the problem, among other things.”
Choi Jeho, who had finished folding the cardboard box, stood up while Cheonghyeon and I were talking. He held the neatly folded boxes, ready for recycling.
“Are there no side effects?”
“From this? Well, there’s a recommended daily dose.”
“How many pills is that?”
“Less than eight, I think.”
“And you?”
“I try to stick to the recommended dose.”
“Sure you do.”
Choi Jeho let out a hollow laugh as he looked at the amount of trash.
“It’s not like I’m taking them recklessly. I took them like this for years before, and I was fine.”
I said that to reassure them, but their expressions only darkened.
“When was that?”
“When I was a student.”
I vaguely answered, avoiding mentioning my past work life in case I incurred a penalty for revealing heavenly secrets. Lee Cheonghyeon sighed.
“Kang Kiyeon is right. We should have sent you to the hospital first.”
“Let’s talk about that later. The dorm is a mess right now.”
“When later? After you collapse from a nosebleed? Or when your suitcase is overflowing with trash?”
“It’s not about that.”
Lee Cheonghyeon irritably threw the plastic containers into the recycling bin.
“We’re in the middle of promotions. We have a fansign tomorrow and promotional activities for ‘In My Office.’ You’re saying we should give all that up?”
“…….”
“Fans aren’t streaming and buying albums to see us promote with a missing member. I can understand trying to minimize Kiyeon’s absence, but we can’t create another vacancy.”
I already had a record of missing self-produced content and live streams due to the Yoo Hansoo incident. I didn’t want to add to the fandom’s anxiety, especially during promotions, with another issue.
Could you even call someone an idol if they only caused their fans to worry?  What about the people who looked to me for strength? I couldn’t keep taking without giving back.
“My turn comes after Kiyeon makes a full recovery. No compromises.”
I tightly tied the small garbage bag shut.
“But if you meet my condition, I’ll do whatever you say without complaint.”
This was my way of showing that I was willing to compromise. Lee Cheonghyeon wasn’t naive enough to miss it.
It was late. But I didn’t think I could sleep.