The Rules of Blood-Volume Two ; Chapter 58 (274) - The Last Time
There were clear skies in the early hours of the morning of the fifty-third day of Blanc’s journey. Dawn was far away still, yet the people inside the large tent had not yet slept a wink.
They stopped what they were doing not too long ago, and now, as they caught their breath, they stood there thinking about what had just happened and whether it was right to act upon it.
Blanc stood on his back, his eyes looking around the tent as he played with the hair of the woman who had her head on his chest. Velakia accepted the constant patting, her own hand moving around Blanc’s wounds as they stood there silently.
They made enough noise earlier. Now they both choose to be lost in their own minds.
For Blanc, the guilt persisted despite the vigor he showed earlier.
He found himself blinded by lust. What else could it be? It surely wasn’t a deep sense of love.
If it were love, things would be so much easier.
He respected her, despite her tongue. He appreciated her honesty, despite her hateful views on the Empire. He saw her as a beautiful woman, stronger mentally than he could ever hope to be. And she carried many things on her shoulder without much complaining.
As he thought on the matter, the monologue he despised returned to him, ready to discuss.
‘I am back, did I miss me?’
I can see that, and no. I did not.
‘Such hate… is this what they call reflection? Am I hating myself now?’
Shut up.
‘I clearly wasn’t hating myself minutes ago, so what happened?’
Asking myself what happened is a new low in these types of conversations.
‘But that isn’t an answer, is it? Tell me, am I in love? Am I afraid? Of what exactly?’
The only people I love are my wives.
‘Yes, yes, clearly shown in my recent actions.’
I cannot love another, especially not one set to leave the Empire.
‘So a fling thing, yes… Do something dumb now and regret it later. Smart move, may I add.’
It was-
‘Does it matter? What if she gets pregnant from shit like this?’
That will not happen.
‘Two pregnant women are waiting for my return. So far, I left pregnant all those I slept with.’
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It won’t happen this time.
‘How do I know that?’
Fuck off, alright? Let me be.
‘No, no. I will stay here until you give me an answer.’
…
‘The silent treatment, eh?’
…
‘I will not try to pamper my own mind like I did Kael.’
…
‘Very well.’
And the monologue vanished from Blanc’s mind, making him sigh lightly.
“Is something wrong?” Velakia asked, placing her chin on his chest as she turned to look at him.
“Just wondering about the contents of the letters I will have to send to my wives soon enough,” Blanc replied, as he kept on playing with her hair.
“Do you plan on telling them?” Velakia asked, surprised. “Would it not cause issues for you?”
“It would,” he chuckled, “But I do not plan to lie or hide things from them.”
“That…” Velakia muttered, losing the rest of the words somewhere unknown.
“They would have forgiven the first one easily,” Blanc continued, “But this one, I don’t know.”
Velakia remained silent, lost in her thoughts for a while. She did not want to create issues for him, especially not after all that had happened between them. What she was feeling now wasn’t love; she didn’t afford love at that very moment.
For she knew she had to go home.
Even if she did, perhaps slowly start to love him, to see him more than…
It did not matter really.
Did it?
For her, home meant more than any man could. Still, unbeknownst to Blanc, he gave her a gift she would forever be grateful for.
He showed her she could get past that trauma, past that nightmare. He showed her she could be normal again. He also showed her what it feels like for someone to care for her, even if that care was only physical.
And such a gift must be reciprocated somehow.
How? She didn’t know yet. But she was sure she had to do it.
“Can I ask you something?” Blanc spoke, interrupting her thoughts.
“Sure,” Velakia nodded, pressing her chin deeper into his chest.
“Why did you do it this time?” Blanc asked.
“Why did you not stop me?” Velakia smiled warmly.
Blanc could only sigh and look away, half embarrassed, half annoyed at how good a question that actually was.
“It felt good, you know,” she began, making Blanc turn to look in her eyes, “The first time back in the barn, even without control, all I could remember was how good it felt, how… different it felt to how I remembered it.”
“You mean-”
“Yes,” she nodded, stopping him as she knew what she wanted to ask, “That time I felt scared, I felt pain, I felt shame. It made intercourse feel like the worst thing there is. For me, it stopped making sense why people do it. So I stopped my body from ever wanting such a thing ever again. But then… it happened, and when it did, it turned all I knew upside down. But I began to worry, was it the beasts that felt good, or was it me?”
“And you took the next opportunity you had to check and see, correct?” Blanc wondered.
“Stop speaking as if you did not enjoy yourself, dear Blanc. My jaw still hurts, and my legs still shake a bit,” Velakia sighed.
“My jaw hurts as well, Your Highness,” Blanc replied, grabbing her chin and pulling her closer to him, “And you are right, I enjoyed myself quite a fair bit, but you still did not answer my questions.”
Velakia’s cheeks turned crimson as their lips were almost touching, their faces close to one another, “Yes, I checked.”
“And?” Blanc pressed his nose against hers.
“It felt even better this time,” Velakia replied, locking lips with him.
“It will be bad if we keep doing this,” Blanc chuckled as their lips departed.
“Then let this be the last time,” Velakia said as she got on top of him, the covers moving away, revealing her naked body.
“...The last time,” Blanc nodded.
Volume Two ; Chapter 58 (274) - The Last Time
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